Hello?
Is this thing on?
Oh, good, you can hear me.
Welcome to the Game!
You might be waking up with a headache. This is normal, and is a result of the implant we, er, implanted you with, and through which I'm now speaking to you. Do not panic. Panic might increase your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing, which might cause the device implanted in your head to explode. It should go without saying, but let me assure you, detonation of this device would be deadly. Yes, the device is both a transmitter and a bomb. What a time to be alive!
You will also notice that you’ve been fitted with an ankle bracelet. It’s tamper-proof, water-proof, and idiot-proof, and if you did somehow manage to remove it, or if you attempt to leave the game area, it’ll trigger the previously-mentioned head-explodey-thingy, so I recommend against both of those things.
(Why an ankle bracelet *and* a head-explodey-thingy? Well, in prior runs of the game, we only used the head-exploders, and players seemed to think they could get away with more than they actually could. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Ha, ha. The ankle bracelet is just there to remind you that we will, in fact, detonate your head if you make us do it. A sort of tangible reminder of your mortal peril, if you will. Our psychologists have assured us that this solution makes sense, and they're the experts, so they must be right.)
You might be asking yourself if this is legal. Actually, you’d only be asking yourself that if you didn’t read the fine print on the waiver you signed, so who’s really to blame, here, in that case? Let’s just say that this is all “basically not specifically illegal” and leave it at that.
Where was I? Right. In front of you is a box. In that box is a gun. Everybody gets a gun. Some of the guns work like guns, some of them don’t, and some of them don’t do anything at all. They all look alike, and they only work at night. You’ll know what your gun does (probably), but you won’t be able to prove it to anybody. These guns are proprietary technology developed by The Company. Don’t ask questions.
Oh, and the bad guys in this Game (you know, the ones you’ll be trying to find and eliminate) have special guns that do other things, too. We don’t want to make this too easy for you. But don't worry; they have head-exploders in their heads too, as far as you know.
Now pick up your weapon, go find your teammates and your foes, and see how long you survive.
Oh, and have fun out there.
The Company requires it.