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What does gaslighting mean?
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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's beliefs.
Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorientating the victim. The term originated from the 1938 Patrick Hamilton play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations (both titled Gaslight), in which a character tries to make his wife believe that she has gone insane to cover his criminal activities. When he turns up the gas-fueled lights in the upstairs apartment in order to search for a murdered woman's jewels, the gaslights in his own apartment grow dimmer but he convinces his wife that she is imagining the change. The term has been used in clinical and research literature, as well as in political commentary.
The term "gaslighting" has been used colloquially since the 1960s to describe efforts to manipulate someone's perception of reality. The term has been used to describe such behaviour in psychoanalytic literature since the 1970s. In a 1980 book on child sexual abuse, Florence Rush summarized George Cukor's Gaslight (1944) based on the play and wrote, "even today the word [gaslighting] is used to describe an attempt to destroy another's perception of reality."
Psychiatrist Theodore Dorpat described two characteristics of gaslighting: that the abuser wants full control of feelings, thoughts, or actions of the victim, and that the abuser emotionally abuses the victim, discreetly, but in hostile, abusive, or coercive ways.[13] As described by Patricia Evans, seven "warning signs" of gaslighting are the observed abuser's:
Withholding information from the victim;
Countering information to fit the abuser's perspective;
Discounting information;
Using verbal abuse, usually in the form of jokes;
Blocking and diverting the victim's attention from outside sources;
Trivializing ("minimising") the victim's worth; and,
Undermining the victim by gradually weakening them and their thought processes.
Evans considers it necessary to understand the warning signs in order to begin the process of healing from it.
In a popular treatment, psychologist Elinor Greenberg has described three common methods of gaslighting:
Hiding. The abuser may hide things from the victim and cover up what they have done. Instead of feeling ashamed, the abuser may convince the victim to doubt their own beliefs about the situation and turn the blame on themselves.
Changing. The abuser feels the need to change something about the victim. Whether it be the way the victim dresses or acts, they want the victim to mold into their fantasy. If the victim does not comply, the abuser may convince the victim that he or she is in fact not good enough.
Control. The abuser may want to fully control and have power over the victim. In doing so, the abuser will try to seclude them from other friends and family so only they can influence the victim's thoughts and actions. The abuser gets pleasure from knowing the victim is being fully controlled by them.
An abuser's ultimate goal, as described by the divorce process coach Lindsey Ellison, is to make their victim second-guess their choices and to question their sanity, making them more dependent on the abuser. One tactic used to degrade a victim's self-esteem is the abuser alternating between ignoring and attending to the victim, so that the victim lowers their expectation of what constitutes affection, and perceives themselves as less worthy of affection.
According to philosophy professor Kate Abramson, the act of gaslighting is not specifically tied to being sexist, although women tend to be frequent targets of gaslighting compared to men who more often engage in gaslighting. Abramson explained this as a result of social conditioning, and said "it's part of the structure of sexism that women are supposed to be less confident, to doubt our views, beliefs, reactions, and perceptions, more than men. And gaslighting is aimed at undermining someone's views, beliefs, reactions, and perceptions. The sexist norm of self-doubt, in all its forms, prepares us for just that." Abramson said that the final "stage" of gaslighting is severe, major, clinical depression.
With respect to women in particular, philosophy professor Hilde Lindemann said that in such cases, the victim's ability to resist the manipulation depends on "her ability to trust her own judgements". Establishment of "counterstories" may help the victim reacquire "ordinary levels of free agency".
Sociopaths and narcissists frequently use gaslighting tactics to abuse and undermine their victims. Sociopaths consistently transgress social mores, break laws and exploit others, but typically also are convincing liars, sometimes charming ones, who consistently deny wrongdoing. Thus, some who have been victimized by sociopaths may doubt their own perceptions. Some physically abusive spouses may gaslight their partners by flatly denying that they have been violent. Gaslighting may occur in parent–child relationships, with either parent, child, or both lying to the other and attempting to undermine perceptions.- Auro
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Auro Survivor
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A hard stance against a wagon *on someone else*, not on yourself.
As in if someone else is getting wagoned, I don't think town!you gets upset on D1/D2.
None of those examples disprove this- BBmolla
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but i think ya'll are really badIn post 2329, Auro wrote:A hard stance against a wagon *on someone else*, not on yourself.
As in if someone else is getting wagoned, I don't think town!you gets upset on D1/D2.
None of those examples disprove this- CheekyTeeky
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Just googled it, no I'm not manipulating you to doubt your sanity. I'm genuinely like omg your lynch order sucks.
I have a nasty feeling both Dong and Hop flip town and I know I'm town so idk. Like the feeling about Dong and hop is the same one I had about espy.
If I'm right and they're both town I'd naturally think one of the people pushing the espy/dong/hop lynches is scum.- BBmolla
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In post 1421, BBmolla wrote:What a fucking awful lynch good luck Town you’re clearly terrible no way we’re fighting that 70% loss rateIn post 1422, BBmolla wrote:After I’m lynched please completely ignore Dunnstral, they are fucking awful and will lose you the gameIn post 1423, BBmolla wrote:VOTE: NSG
Good fucking luck honestly glad I won’t have to deal with y’all lmfao later can’t wait to see the LIn post 1425, BBmolla wrote:Just judging by this lynch Espy is probably town no wonder he’s fucking hopelessIn post 1426, BBmolla wrote:
Cause that’s not possible?In post 1401, Dunnstral wrote:That's nice, but it doesn't explain how you keep pointing to wagon resistance but think that both of these people can be scum
GOD you’re fucking awfulIn post 1427, BBmolla wrote:What a fucking horrendous wagon I hope y’all wake up tomorrow and realize how fucking bad it wasIn post 1430, BBmolla wrote:And I hope that you all take all this and be like “oh wow that BBmolla was so mean I’m gonna win this for the town just to show him”
Because you played fucking bad today
You were a bad town and need to be better if we’re gonna get points
And if you can accomplish that I get points for it
I win no matter what
If you lose I was right you’re bad, if you win I win points
here's my evidence to support that I think ya'll are badIn post 1434, BBmolla wrote:I was born a lynchbait and I’ll die a lynchbait
Too bad none of you can fucking read me- BBmolla
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okay coolIn post 2331, CheekyTeeky wrote:Just googled it, no I'm not manipulating you to doubt your sanity. I'm genuinely like omg your lynch order sucks.
I have a nasty feeling both Dong and Hop flip town and I know I'm town so idk. Like the feeling about Dong and hop is the same one I had about espy.
If I'm right and they're both town I'd naturally think one of the people pushing the espy/dong/hop lynches is scum.
so who's scum- Auro
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Sure, but you agree that this is the *first* time you have ever reacted strongly to a slot (that you didn't strongly townread anyway) when it was wagoned early game?In post 2330, BBmolla wrote:but i think ya'll are really bad- BBmolla
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I loved every other wagonIn post 2334, Auro wrote:
Sure, but you agree that this is the *first* time you have ever reacted strongly to a slot (that you didn't strongly townread anyway) when it was wagoned early game?In post 2330, BBmolla wrote:but i think ya'll are really bad
what would I react strongly to- BBmolla
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In post 1210, BBmolla wrote:I still think FF is a good lynch, the AtE didn’t have the apparent affect on me it did on you all
I’m fine with a NSG lynch but I don’t think she’s scummier than FF, I just think her fucking logic sucksIn post 1211, BBmolla wrote:Don’t like Gobble wagon.In post 1387, BBmolla wrote:I like these wagons what course should I be taking?
here you go evidence to support what I saidIn post 1388, BBmolla wrote:like literally you're like "you're not doing anything except pushing the wagons you want and stopping the ones you don't"
???
in order of course- BBmolla
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Um that was just because I clicked the plus buttons in the order, contradiction still stands.In post 2335, BBmolla wrote:those quotes are in order Auro I know that's shocking because you didn't know how to do it before but it is possible to post quotes and not mislead people by putting them in a different order
You reacted strongly to the Gobble wagon. Saying "lynch me instead", "can't work with you guys", etc. Why?In post 2336, BBmolla wrote:
I loved every other wagonIn post 2334, Auro wrote:
Sure, but you agree that this is the *first* time you have ever reacted strongly to a slot (that you didn't strongly townread anyway) when it was wagoned early game?In post 2330, BBmolla wrote:but i think ya'll are really bad
what would I react strongly to- BBmolla
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i never said lynch me instead, please quote where i did thank youIn post 2340, Auro wrote:You reacted strongly to the Gobble wagon. Saying "lynch me instead", "can't work with you guys", etc. Why?- BBmolla
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I already addressed thisIn post 2340, Auro wrote:Um that was just because I clicked the plus buttons in the order, contradiction still stands.- CheekyTeeky
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I want to lynch 1 in you/turkey or 1 in Dann/Cephrir. If you flip town I'd skip gobbles but not vice versa. If we lynched Dann and he flipped town then I'd be fine lynching hop. I won't lynch Cephrir because Kitty said no.
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In post 2191, Auro wrote:FF, all the reasons for Gobscum are from the last few pages.
-Heavy unnatural AtE
-Made up reads (Esp, Cheeky etc)
-Molla's chainsaw
We can lynch both, but I want the faster winIn post 2192, Formerfish wrote:
I guess im just not ready to admit i was wrong about turkey.In post 2191, Auro wrote:FF, all the reasons for Gobscum are from the last few pages.
-Heavy unnatural AtE
-Made up reads (Esp, Cheeky etc)
-Molla's chainsaw
We can lynch both, but I want the faster win
Im praying that scum is just trying to deflect on to him.
I feel better about an Espy red flip, but if he flips green then Gobs has to be scum.In post 2194, BBmolla wrote:I'll go today if you fucks want, I don't want to be in this town tbh, ya'll are fucking impossible to work withIn post 2195, BBmolla wrote:Like I can't believe the Hop wagon never happened, what the actual fuck?
Quoted, in order, without leaving out anything in the middle. What was 2194 a reaction to?In post 2196, BBmolla wrote:Convince me on Gobbles, like I literally don't understand, go- BBmolla
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thanks for quoting in orderIn post 2344, Auro wrote:Quoted, in order, without leaving out anything in the middle. What was 2194 a reaction to?
2194 was in reaction to me wanting to fucking die instead of being a part of this town because ya'll are doing whack shit- BBmolla
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Which specifically was just the Gobble wagon, yeah?In post 2345, BBmolla wrote:2194 was in reaction to me wanting to fucking die instead of being a part of this town because ya'll are doing whack shit- CheekyTeeky
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What is it that makes this so frustrating for you BB? The only thing that you've really pushed this game is that Dong is scum and Gobbles push was bad and why not hopkirk. Most people are agreeing with you so why are you getting mad at me and Auro for being "bad"? We're not the whole town and you're not really working with us to get on the same page, you just start getting abusive.- BBmolla
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I mean partiallyIn post 2347, Auro wrote:
Which specifically was just the Gobble wagon, yeah?In post 2345, BBmolla wrote:2194 was in reaction to me wanting to fucking die instead of being a part of this town because ya'll are doing whack shit
also this that you quotedIn post 2195, BBmolla wrote:Like I can't believe the Hop wagon never happened, what the actual fuck? - BBmolla
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