Scummies 2019 Ceremony

[Scummies]

1:18 AM

"Is this really a good idea?"

The small posse huddled together against the darkness, brandishing flaming brands from the fireplace, chair legs, and kitchen knives. Zoraster clutched the ancient and battered shotgun that had been hanging high on one wall. the worst's teeth chattered in the chill, torchlight reflecting wildly off the sequins sown into his suspenders. "I mean, wouldn't it be safer to just bar the doors and wait for morning?"

Untrod Tripod elbowed the worst. "Hey. T-Bone was my friend, and the others that are out here are too. If any of them are alive, we have to try and help them." Cephrir nodded, and MariaR hiccuped in response. For at least the fifth time, Zoraster checked the action of the shotgun, praying that the dusty shells they'd found in a drawer were still good.

It wasn't long before their fears were realized. Just out of sight of the chalet, they found evidence of a gory repast. Rent limbs and viscera were strewn amongst the undergrowth. A look of surprise was still on davesaz's face, his still-steaming abdomen open to the air. Implosion and Zito lay piled together, their remains difficult to identify from one another. A little further along, a bloody, shredded tent stood testament to the end of Alisae, PenguinPower, and Nexus. MariaR raised her torch to look inside, and promptly reproduced half a bottle of tequila onto the side of the trail.

"What the hell happened here? What could do this?" the worst asked, his face a sickly shade of green. The rest of the group turned to look at him, a look of horror on their face. "Guys?" What the worst couldn't see was the luminous yellow eyes behind him, moments before bloody, whiskered jaws closed around his leg and dragged him, screaming, into the night.

========

Meanwhile, back in the chalet, the abandoned and forgotten projector plays on, and the scene of a crowded casino flickers to life on the far wall.

[Scummies]

1:25 AM

"Was that...was that what I thought it was!?"

The survivors clutched at one another, panting in the darkness. Zoraster had fired off one deafening blast with the shotgun before retreating into the night. The others had followed suit, fleeing in disorganized panic from the appearance of the beast. They gathered themselves in a small clearing by the lake, downslope from the chalet. Only Cephrir had held onto his torch, but at least the full moon gave off some light, reflecting off the water in a mockery of peace. The torn bodies of Micc, Shadoweh, and RadiantCowbells bobbed against the little dock, staining the shore with red foam.

"Yeah...it was a tiger." Untrod Tripod replied. "Zor...I thought we got rid of them all years ago, after the great attack of '12. Where did a monster like that come from?" He wiped his brow in anxiety, unconsciously smearing T-Bone's blood across his face.

"Constant vigilance, UT." Cephrir cut in. "At some point, we forgot and let our guard down."

======================

The casino fades, and a futuristic scene fades into view.

[Scummies]

1:40 AM

"Heyyy, over here."

MariaR tottered drunkenly, the booze finally getting to her. She took a flask from her back pocket and took a hit. The reek of cheap, high-proof vodka almost, but not quite, covered the stench of decay as she waved her broken chair leg at the pile of bodies. The creature had clearly made something of a den in this patch of dense shrubbery, dragging its victims back to devour at its leisure. Cephrir leaned in to look at faces, but had to turn away at the sharp scent of offal, dropping his torch. Maria scooped it up to keep it from going out, spilling a measure of liquor down her front. "Reck and xofelf at least," Cephrir reported after he caught his breath, "I think another one was Monty, but I can't be sure."

A somber mood settled over the survivors as they contemplated their situation. Only a few people were still missing, the rest dead. "We've got to get out of here," said Untrod Tripod, "There's no way we make it with that monster out there. If we can't call for help, we need to get back to the cars." Zoraster and Cephrir nodded reluctantly in agreement, while Maria gave a thumb's up. They turned and began trudging back up towards the abandoned chalet. No sooner had they set foot on the trail than a deep, coughing roar echoed through the forest. The survivors looked at one another and sprinted down the trail.

==========

A new film reel settled onto the projector, and an orchestra fades into view on the far wall.

[Scummies]

1:49 AM

"Ahhhhh, help m-"

Cephrir's cries for help were suddenly cut short, and silence reigned again, broken only by the panting gasps of the survivors and their pulse thundering in their ears. Zoraster, Untrod Tripod, and MariaR raced through the dimly-lit forest, adrenaline spurring them back towards the chalet and their cars. If only they could reach the relative safety afforded of their vehicles, they could outrun the threat and go for help. Cephrir had stumbled on the path, and the tiger had burst from the trees before he could regain his feet. There was no use mourning him now, their very lives were at stake. The trio vaulted over a fallen log and were struck by a gruesome sight. Pine's body was dismembered, strung up through the spreading branches of an old white pine like Christmas ornaments, his head lodged high above the trail like a macabre angel. "Well..." panted Zoraster, "That's kind of fitting."

Maria rolled her eyes and made to smack him on the shoulder, forgetting for a moment that she held a torch. The gesture fed oxygen to the guttering flame, which flared into brightness and consumed a little more of itself. A burning splinter dropped from the brand onto Maria's jacket. She tried to pat out the spark, but it caught on her vodka-stained sleeve. As the alcohol was consumed, the blaze rapidly spread over her torso. She began to scream, and dropped to the ground, flinging the torch into the base of the old tree, festooned with body parts. It caught in a smear of resin where an old branch had been lost, and the tree was quickly engulfed in flame as well. Maria's shrieks increased in pitch as both fires spread, and Zoraster fled the conflagration, Untrod Tripod close on his heels.

============

The final reel of film was nearly spent, but it shifted scene one last time, changing to an ornate chapel.

[Scummies]

1:54 AM

"Open the door, open the door!"

Zoraster fumbled with the keys as he and Untrod Tripod stood, panting in the little field they'd converted into a parking lot the previous morning. Adrenaline surged through his hands as UT cast about wildly with the shotgun, which he'd taken after losing his butcher knife in the forest, searching for a target. Zoraster finally found the right key and was about to set it in the lock when the gun went off. The shock of the blast knocked the two survivors together, and the keys dropped to the ground. Both men dropped to the ground and scrambled to find the keys. "Got them!" cried Untrod Tripod, holding them up in triumph.

The tiger took his arm off at the elbow.

Gore sprayed across Zoraster's face as his friend shrieked in pain and terror, the coppery taste of arterial blood strong in his open mouth. He turned and fled as Untrod Tripod's screams continued behind him. They stopped as suddenly as Cephrir's had as Zoraster slammed the door to the chalet behind him. He gasped for air, trying to regain control of himself. Just as his breathing slowed and his mind began to think rationally, he jumped again as the door across the great hall opened. Mastina tripped over the film projector, pulling its plug free from the wall and ending the scene of a young knight accepting the accolades of his peers. Her hair was mussed and full of grass, and she rubbed sleep from her eyes as she warmed her hands by the fire, yawning.

"What...what happened? I thought I heard a gunshot...is that blood? Zor?" Mastina's eyes widened in realization for just a moment before the window burst inward, scattering broken glass and shards of wood all over the room. It scrabbled for purchase on the tile floor where mere hours before, a checkers tournament had been won by its most recent victim. The tiger was covered in wounds of its own, both from the glass and the final shotgun blast. It swiveled its beady, infernal eyes back and forth between the two prey-things before it, then pounced on the screaming Mastina. The young woman and the tiger rolled end-over-end before coming to a ripping, shredding stop on the hearth.

Zoraster gulped and made his decision. He ran across the room, leaping over abandoned liquor bottles and nearly skidding in the half-dried pool of T-Bone's lifeblood, and took a flying leap, feet-first, into the tiger's flank. Both monster and victim were hurled into the still-blazing fire, sending out flames and sparks all over the hall.

End, Part III

[Scummies]

Epilogue

2:16 AM

The undead tiger took a long time to die. Whatever abominable force had animated it seemed to have been susceptible to fire, as its body had been consumed almost immediately. Still, it had writhed and struggled for long minutes, growling and yelping, before finally laying still to burn. Mastina was dead, and - so Zoraster hoped - had been before he'd kicked them into the fire. The blaze had ignited other parts of the room, and he hadn't had the energy or wherewithal to fight the blaze. It wasn't until after the creature had been consigned to oblivion that he'd looked down and seen the long, jagged shard of glass in his side. Strange, he hadn't felt it at the time.

Zoraster staggered outside as part of the ceiling gave way. The expulsion of hot air knocked him to the ground, but a fresh wave of pain jolted him back upright. He had to get help. He knew not to remove the impaling glass, but knew also that it probably wouldn't matter anyway. He tried his cell phone again, but the slippery blood on his hands made it impossible to actually interact with the screen. He hurled the useless chunk of glass and plastic away from him, and the effort nearly made him pass out. He was already feeling light-headed. Not a good sign.

He hauled himself back to his feet, and staggered towards the cars. Zoraster found Untrod Tripod's still-warm body, and located the keys, inches from his dismembered, outstretched fingers. The jeep's engine turned over, and Zoraster breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He might not make it to a hospital, but at least he had a shot. He put the jeep in reverse, and began driving down the road to safety. He hadn't yet gone a hundred yards when a figured stepped out into the road. Zoraster spun the wheel, the glass in his side sending lances of agony up his side as he steered off the road and into an oak tree. His last thought was one of confusion, for he'd recognized the figure.

The figure calmly watched Zoraster breathe once more, shudder, and lie still across the steering wheel. The orange glow of the burning chalet joined the deeper red of the larger inferno of the burning forest behind him as he deactivated the cellular jamming signal. Picking his way carefully, the figure descended into ditch and laid two gloved fingers on Zoraster's carotid artery, as he had with all of the subjects not presenting as obviously dead. Satisfied, he pulled a notepad out of his jacket pocket and crossed one final name off of his list. The task finally finished, he climbed up the bank, cursing at the mud stains he'd no doubt have on his carefully-pressed trousers, and placed a call. He waited patiently as the tone dialed, then rang. Another man's voice picked up on the third ring, and demanded a report.

"One survivor, Mr. mith. No, sir. Yes, sir. I took care of him myself. The experiment was a failure, despite the effigy's success rate. I would like permission to reset and try again. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Kison ended the call and pocketed it. From the interior of his jacket he pulled out a sleek black device with a single red button, and pressed it.

The End?

[Scummies]

Thank you all for your patience with the pacing of the Scummies. As you may be able to tell, this year's ceremony has been a labor of love, with punctuality sacrificed for quality time after time. I hope that the final product is enjoyable and entertaining, it's been a blast to write, as have the vignettes for individual awards.

This thread is now open.

[McMenno]

first

[RadiantCowbells]

tenth

[skitter30]

Thanks to the committee for putting this together!

[Flavor Leaf]

I was a super special hidden judge, I guess.

Good stuff, though, great flavor throughout. Thanks, Scummie Steering Committee!

[Pine]

I was a super special hidden judge, I guess.

Good stuff, though, great flavor throughout. Thanks, Scummie Steering Committee!

Yeah I’m not sure what happened, I think your name just got dropped from the graphic accidentally. Glad you liked the story!

[Amrun]

Great job! I wasn’t as much help as I’d planned to be. Next year when I didn’t get to experience only two months of games will be easier for me I think.

[Alisae]

I was a super special hidden judge, I guess.

Good stuff, though, great flavor throughout. Thanks, Scummie Steering Committee!

Yeah I’m not sure what happened, I think your name just got dropped from the graphic accidentally. Glad you liked the story!

I was going off the list of judges and just so happened to accidentally skip over it.
Happens ig

[NotAJumbleOfNumbers]

I wanted to be in the scummies committee, but then I read the flavor. Apparently almost everyone died, yikes.

...

Wait, how are they going to staff next year's Scummies?

[the worst]

I think Kison and mith reset is at the end. I don't feel as dead as one would expect

[Plotinus]

Congrats everyone for all your hard work putting this together

[Alisae]

we did it
it was like, over 1000 days since we had a ceremony
but we did it!

[AaronFrost]

Yeet

[xofelf]

This ended up being so good <3

[Micc]

Big thank you to everyone involved in putting this event on, and congrats to all the winners. Great work all around!

[mastina]

Gonna be honest:
In past years, when someone has had no title, but won an award, giving them their banner title was no problem. For the duration of the year, their title would be the title of their award. (E.g. someone without a banner winning Don Corelone would get Most Cunning Manipulation as their title.)
In past years, when someone has had a title and won multiple awards, giving them their banner title was no problem. Keep their current title, just add the banner below it.

...This might be the first year ever where we've had someone with no title, win multiple awards. (In this case, nsg.)
So, uhhh...I don't know what to do there.

(I'm working on handing out the banners. Let me know if I fuck things up, which I imagine I very easily might.)

This seems to be a...fairly poor solution.

[RadiantCowbells]

Can I have the banner title for Paragon please.

[mastina]

Can I have the banner title for Paragon please.

Just Paragon? I think I can do that.

[mastina]

Alright.
I THINK all banners have been handed out and are displaying correctly but if I didn't fuck anything up, I'd be surprised.
If I did mess up anywhere, be sure to let me know!