California Trilogy: City of Angels - On Camera (Game Over)

[PookyTheMagicalBear]

this is crap

i expected to show up and bang the maiden. now im some stupid old schmuck who apparently isn't even real or something.

sigh =/

i'm never caving in to peer pressure again =(.

except right now

vote crone

ok noooooooo more!!!

Tag removed. Only votes at end of post are counted. - Mod

[curiouskarmadog]

vote crone lets gamble then....

though mother would be the safest choice.

Tag removed. Only votes at end of post are counted. - Mod

[Gaspar]

This is stupid. Mother was so obviously the right choice, but I think we already hit lynch.

Definite mega-FoS to CKD for laying down the hammer before anybody could rethink their positions.

[curiouskarmadog]

lol, you know where you can shove that FoS right? 5 to vote. Currently just 4 votes....man, you tunnel vision, you tunnel vision.

I think you know exactly where the "bad" choice is....and you are already getting started with an attack..

unvote, vote Mother

....

[curiouskarmadog]

you want people to rethink their vote...tell them why.

[Gaspar]

No, there was already one voting (StarKiss). Then Baltar, Hewitt, Pooky, and you voted. The decision has been made.

I'm not going to get into the "Why do I think the Advocates were telling the truth, even if they're scum" argument for a fourth or fifth time.

The main reason I objected just a minute ago is because this vote was incredibly rushed. It looks like someone couldn't wait to get the decision made, and considering that hammer is someone I already suspect (YOU, CKD), I'm now pretty certain that you were sealing the envelope on the wrong Decision.

[Gaspar]

So tell me, CKD. Do you think that Elmosaurian's advocate information was true or not?

[VP Baltar]

Don't worry about the high number of sould taken under, my dear Tabris. Some of them were but extras, and who really cares about that.


Mr. Godwin is most certainly a decepticon. That was a very pathetic attempt, I must say.

[VP Baltar]

*souls

[GoofballsAndBaloons]

Come on Angel. You're full of foul gases. They can't penetrate my AT-field of course, but I can smell them. We've had tons of time to state our positions and make up our minds. It's not like we weren't ready to roll when we got the green light. If CKD hadn't hammered in the choice, I would have done it. Why are you now berating us for sealing the choice most of us had pretty much agreed upon? What a weird, weird reaction?

I think CKD wanted to hammer in the right decision to get some last minute town cred, even though he's been advocating the wrong decision all day long.

Oh, I remember that smell... it's the smell of the fish gutting and processing plant at Shizuoka. On a windy day, you can smell the stench all the way to Yokohama.

Tabris has a violent sneezing fit retching from his irritated airways.

I don't care about extras either, Death. They're replaceable.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Crone: 3 (Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis)
Mother: 1 (John Locke)
Maiden: 0

Not Voting: 5 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Tabris)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Crone

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:3>1=2
1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:1>2=3
1:1>3>2
1:1=2=3

[VP Baltar]

Ok, guess some of the votes did not count. Let's here this grand discussion you're gnashing your teeth about, Angel.

[VP Baltar]

Perhaps Locke's was an intentional ploy to build town cred while not actually committing to the correct choice of Crone.

[dramonic]

Well I guess my unvote is now deemed unecessary. More importantly, why am I not answering myself, this is getting progressively annoying. This body is to be shared by three souls!

°Dram°

[PookyTheMagicalBear]

oops

vote Crone

[curiouskarmadog]

lol

[GoofballsAndBaloons]

Let's get this show on the road.

vote: Crone

[GoofballsAndBaloons]

Take

THAT

, Locke.

You ain't fooling the mighty Unit 02 Evangelion with the impenetrable AT-field. Eat your heart out.

[curiouskarmadog]

"Definite mega-FoS for laying down the hammer before anybody could rethink their positions"

but have a feeling that post will not be coming.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Crone: 5 (Clarence Odbody, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis, Tabris)

Mother: 1 (John Locke)
Maiden: 0

Not Voting: 3 (Angel, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett)

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:3>1=2
1:3>1=2
1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:1>2=3
1:1>3>2
1:3>1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.5

Rubbing their eyes after the momentary and unexplained flash of green light, the group quickly reaches a decision. As one blessed with divine information, John Locke steps toward the three women to speak for the group.

John Locke:

Old woman!

Dennis:

Man!

Confused, John turns to the side, where a filthy man in his mid-thirties stands looking at him defiantly.

John Locke:

I wasn't speaking to you...

Dennis:

And I'm thirty-seven.

John Locke:

I am not speaking to you, I was addressing...

Dennis:

Oh, not good enough for you, am I?

John Locke:

I... what? I didn't say that.

Dennis:

Implied it. It's this sor' of imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an'...

Dennis stops speaking abruptly, as the Mortician from Scene 2 runs in and bashes him over the head. He drags the body over to his cart, pulls him up, and rolls the maggot-infested pile of corpses out of the church.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.6

Cut to a close-up of John Locke, whose eyes continue to display signs of utter confusion and disbelief at the surreal nature of these events. The camera zooms out to show that Clarence Odbody has approached, putting a hand on John's shoulder and giving it a sympathetic squeeze.

Clarence Odbody:

What my friend here is trying to say is that while I feel that in some previous life I would rather have "banged" the young lady over there, we as a group have chosen to ask for your advice, ma'am.

Crone:

Hmph.

Mother:

They're rather rude, aren't they.

Maiden:

I don't know, the bald one is kind of cute...

Mother:

Behave yourself.

Maiden:

I'm just saying.

Crone:

"Old woman"? "Banged the young lady"? Is this how you speak to us?

DEATH:

THEY MEAN NO OFFENSE, LADIES.

Tabris:

Oh, my, you used that voice...

Angel:

Would you two knock it off? I've seen a lot of gross things in my time, but...

Kelly Garrett:

Don't you think it's all rather sweet? I mean, better than that obnoxious basketball player objectifying women...

Clarence Odbody:

Hey, I did no such... I mean, er... never mind.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Can we please focus, people?

Count de Morcerf and Huey Lewis just stand in silence, watching the drama unfold before them. It's weird, it doesn't make any sense, but at least it's better than being trapped in a haunted house for a week.

Crone:

Very well. You want my advice? My advice is this...

At this moment, a shadowy figure rises out of the floor of the cathedral, behind the ladies. The group all gasp in shock. The Ladies turn to see what the commotion is.

David Blaine:

Tada.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.7

John Locke:

But we saw you die!

Kelly Garrett:

Twice!

Glen Stewart Godwin:

It's a bloody miracle, that is.

Clarence Odbody:

When did you become British?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

I... er... that's weird. I don't know where that came from.

Kelly Garrett:

A miracle... in a church. Doesn't that make you a saint or something?

Eddie Izzard:

To be a saint you need three miracles.

DEATH:

WHERE ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING FROM? THIS IS CONFUSING EVEN TO ME, AND I HOLD THE WHOLE OF CREATION WITHIN MY MIND.

Eddie Izzard:

Well, look, if characters from other Mafia games are going to get cameos in this film, I don't see why I shouldn't. It's only fair. I had a whole game to myself.

Count de Morcerf:

Mafia game? What is this Mafia game you speak of?

Dennis:

My, that's an outrageous French accent you have there.

Arthur, King of the Britons:

Shut up! Will you shut up!

The Mortician slashes the head off of Dennis this time to make sure he's really dead, and the police arrive to take King Arthur downtown.

Huey Lewis:

I feel like we're losing a grip on reality, here.

Eddie Izzard:

Fun, isn't it. Now, Mr. Blaine, would you like to become a saint? Saint David, that has a nice ring to it. You've already got two miracles...

Kelly Garrett:

The anvil and the...

Eddie Izzard:

Not the anvil. Everyone can see how he did

that

. Obvious, really. But surviving having his skull crushed? Sure, that's one. And the other, of course, is that he ever became famous at all.

The group all make sounds of agreement at this obvious truth.

Eddie Izzard:

Now then. Can you turn water into wine? Beer? Jam?

David Blaine:

Absolutely.

Eddie Izzard:

Ah. Great. Do you have a flag?

David Blaine:

A flag? What do I need a flag for?

Eddie Izzard:

Ah, sorry. No flag, no sainthood.

The Guide:

And so, the magician and the comedian vanished in a puff of logic. And so did I.

[Insert Puff of Logic special effects here.]

Crone:

This is getting stupid. You want my advice? Here it is. Don't sniff markers, kids.

John Locke:

Wait, what?

Clarence Odbody:

We went through all that for a stupid public awareness message?

Crone:

That'll be twelve dollars.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.1

Several Months Earlier...

Ms. Blue:

Well?

Ms. Blue is out of view, but her voice is instantly recognizable to fans of the franchise. It has a slightly electronic sound, and one could surmise that she is speaking through a microphone.

Glork:

I won't play your games, Blue.

Glork, on the other hand, is the central figure in the shot. He is in a small room, surrounded by mirrors. The room is brightly lit, suggesting that he is being watched through the mirrors.

He is sitting in a chair. In front of him is a wooden table. On the table is a row of several brightly coloured buttons.

The only other thing in the room is a small monitor. The camera zooms in closer to the monitor, and some special effects magic results in the view eventually becoming that of the monitor as it zooms closer.

Hanging over a vat of CERTAIN DOOM (patent pending) is... Glork?

Ms. Blue:

You have no say in this. If you do not push one of them, he will die.

Glork:

He is me. But that's not possible. And if I do push one of the buttons, he will die anyway. In some slightly less horrible way. But you're toying with... well, my life. And I won't be any part of it.

Meanwhile, the Glork on the monitor is being slowly lowered toward the vat. For several seconds there is nothing but the sound of sizzling DOOM. Glork's face inches closer... closer...

Glork:

Argh!

The camera cuts to the Glork in the room, who slams his fist down on one of the buttons - the orange one. The monitor immediately goes dead. There is a sound off camera, and a body - Glork's body - drops from a trap door in the ceiling, landing with a wet thud on the floor in front of the table.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.2

Peru

18 Days Ago...

Close up of Glork's face. His eyes are closed. His head is surrounded by green grass. His eyes suddenly open and begin to dart around.

Ms. Blue:

You are a hard one to find.

A wide shot shows that Glork is lying in the middle of a valley. The only other person in sight is Ms. Blue, who is sitting on the back of a llama.

Glork sits up. He looks exhausted. A makeshift censor bar covers his nakedness.

Glork:

It was only a matter of time. Where is your... partner?

Ms. Blue:

A call... Mr. Grey.

Glork:

I won't go back. You'll have to kill me. I won't play any more of your games.

Ms. Blue shrugs. She reaches into a pouch hanging on the llama's side and pulls out an envelope. She hands it to Glork, who reluctantly takes it and opens it. He pulls out a small slip of paper and reads it.

Glork:

I... no, I don't believe this. I don't believe

him

.

Ms. Blue:

I don't care.

With that, Ms. Blue turns the llama away from Glork and starts a slow trot out of the valley. Glork looks after her. He looks back at the message. He mutters something under his breath, picks himself up off the ground, and runs after Ms. Blue.