League of Legends (Old)

[Lady Lambdadelta]

Lexicat.

[Lady Lambdadelta]

I've also been messing around with Custom Skins, and they're fucking awesome. DJ Sona man, DJ Sona.

[Brandi]

aw that's such a cute name

[Lady Lambdadelta]

aw that's such a cute name

Thanks! ^-^

It's because my name is Alexis and a lot of people just call me Lexi.

So the username is a play on words of Lexicon and the whole Cat thing. (Lexicat being a play on words of a term that is about the definiton of words is also intentional~).

[Glork]

MY SMURF IS

glrok

[Lady Lambdadelta]

I've got time for a few games now. I'm gonna be playing on my smurf if anyone wants to play.

P-Edit: Glrok I'm coming for youuuu

[quadz08]

my smorf is named

professoromega

*party*

[Lady Lambdadelta]

Get online. Brandi and I are playing smurf games!

[Brandi]

ya'lls betta accept nao!

[mykonian]

had a nice series yesterday, and then I know I don't want a smurf. One normal blind pick game, 3 of our players waited till the rest picked something, and because I was playing normals with the idea that I would play jungle/top trynd, mid yi, ad twitch or support sion, I picked sion.

We ended up with ashe+zed top, orianna mid, and jax/sion bot. We invaded, which was already a brawl, and after having blown up their graves/blitz botlane (hah, countered!) a couple of times my jax decided the laning phase was over and started killing whoever came too close to him. I guess about 9 or 10 minutes in the game we had a prolonged brawl in midlane.

In the end, it was a walkover. We had a fed jax and the tankiest thing they had to stop me was a jungle skarner. I felt such a newby again after that game. Who gives a shit about meta, lets just have fun and kill stuff!

[quadz08]

I love games like that.

[Brandi]

well we started without you, you gonna be around in like ~20mins?

[dramonic]

I have a smurf named dramonick
or dramonik

[quadz08]

no, I'm at work. Can't do the playings now, silly.

[Bub Bidderskins]

Yesterday I played some 3's with friends to hilarious results. Early on we decided on a Jax/Singed/Hecarim comp with the idea of Hecarim initiating, Singed being an asshat, and Jax raping their faces off.

Game 1: We were against of three people who were lagging like hell. In the loading screen, all three of them had about 900 ping. They played so bad that we just started trolling. I built a witchcap and DFG while Jax built Tiamat/DFG. We would ace them, and then not kill their turrets so as to prolong the game so we could build more troll items. They finally decided to call it quits at 22:00 (surprised it took them so long)

Game 2: What our last opponents lacked in inter connectivity, our next opponents lacked in skill. They sucked. While we didn't build troll items this time, we were still in troll mode. Standing on their altar and spamming laugh, grouping up at the base of their fountain and spamming laugh, letting Master Yi attack me while doing nothing but spamming laugh for a full five seconds (then killing him). Then the other team started raging in all chat "you guys are only winning because you picked three OP tanks" "I bet you haven't won any games as any other champion". After we won, all three of us honored all three of them just for kicks.

Game 3: We finally met a half-decent team, and we had done way too much trolling to play well. We got a few kills, derped around, and basically did nothing. Before we knew it, the game timer ticked up to 40 minutes. Eventually, after 52 min, they won the game, mainly because we were lazy.


Ah, too much fun.

[lil g]

I just did that weird thing you do on your smurf when you are changing out the lv1 runes for lv3 and you combine up all the shit runes to get a smaller pile of shit runes then you realize if you buy 3 more t1 runes you can spin the wheel for 3 minutes of frantic clicking that will result in roughly a 1/25 shot at getting a t3 rune that you will ever actually use.

I got a flat armor yellow
The cheapest usable t3 rune but hey I "saved" 205 ip. Wonder what the actual net loss was.

Hilarious teemo guide forthcoming for all the non-believers.

[quadz08]

WOO HILARIOUS TEEMO

[CooLDoG]

Currently I'm level 13 and like playing supports (Sona, jana, taric, etc.). I'm also learning how to play jax, who is boss.

[xRECKONERx]

Riot pls aram matchmaking

[CooLDoG]

Is it wrong for someone to go top when I called and picked first in draft mode?

[Knight of Cydonia]

Is it wrong for someone to go top when I called and picked first in draft mode?

If you were first pick, you have precedence. That said, first picking top is usually a bad idea in draft as it opens you up to counterpicks.

[CooLDoG]

Is it wrong for someone to go top when I called and picked first in draft mode?

If you were first pick, you have precedence. That said, first picking top is usually a bad idea in draft as it opens you up to counterpicks.

I had played support for 5 games straight. I really wanted top.

[lil g]

There's no I in TEEMO! : a guide to the most annoying champion of all time.
by lil g, the most annoying player of all time.

Ok so solomid is changed over to the new masteries for s3 and I don't know anything about them because I am a worthless scrub who cannot form full opinions on his own and need to copy froggen to have any chance of success in league. So I scrapped the solomid guide 5 min into it, which is fine because here comes the hard and fast truths about King Fuzzy: the terror of toplane, the murderer of midlane, and the ballbuster of botlane. TeemOP.

Teemo has been the most annoying little shithead in the game forever. He is one of the most played champions, he dies a 75 times a second, he attracts the absolute worst and weirdest people to play him. Every time there is a teemo on your team, he's a worthless bastard who refuses to fight and can't even keep his own lane shroomed somehow. Teemo has traditionally been a feeding pile of garbage, but in the right players' hands he has always been a legitimate counter to a lot of common melee tops, running a bruiser combo build that was able to kite incredibly well while being much tankier than anyone ever expected a Teemo to be. Bruiser Teemo's weakness is his drop-off and generally sub-par teamfight contribution.

Since the patch that buffed up Toxic Shot (E), AP Teemo has come fully into vogue. What used to be a totally annoying gimmick played solely by jackoffs who wanted the funny funny man kills with steroid shrooms (same people who play ap shaco) has become a totally annoying gimmick played by .. well, everyone. Don't believe me? Queue up for a game of blindpick, and pray that you don't have the totally worthless Teemo on your team.

AP Teemo's strengths:
-Absurd early game strength. Coming into lane with boots+3 (and your AP quints), no one can trade with you due to your lv 1 E autos. With this build, Teemo may have the highest damage of any champ at lv 2 (EQ). Running ignite can easily get you a lv 2 kill, even as popular as this build has become, people are just always surprised by the sheer damage output.
-Full map vision coverage. Any idiot can press his R button every 20 seconds. Do it. Shrooms will do high damage lategame, put them everywhere. You'll pick up kills on stragglers all the time. AP Teemo requires an oracles on the other team. There are too many shrooms to clear, it's too risky to do it alone. Support players are stupid, they will stand in the middle of 5 shrooms and start autoing them down, go kill them and spam laugh.
-Teemo is very small and very fast. Don't take this for granted. Teemo is very hard to hit with skillshots, even if you are straight-line running like a moron.
-Chasing & Escaping. They probably won't chase you. If they do, make sure you kill them for it. Always keep a shroom for a hasty escape.

AP Teemo's Weaknesses:
-Squishy. This is a huge problem. You have all the fragility of an ADC without the damage and positioning abilities. If you don't have good positioning and teamfight awareness, you are going to spend a lot of time on your back.
-Not an "AP Burster", you are sustained damage. You don't have an impressive way to immediately remove a high-priority target from a fight. The other team probably does. Guess who they're aiming for?
-MR itemization. You don't really have room in your build for multiple mpen items such as voidstaff without crippling your damage output. If the other team starts stacking MR, you are going to have to accept a diminished role or sacrifice some survivability for more pen.
-Does not fit every teamcomp. Don't be the annoying SOB who instalocks no matter what. There's a time and a place for AP Teemo. It's more frequent than you think. If you need to play a bruiser then for god's sake do it. Weird shit like AP Teemo botlane masquerading as an ADC is what brings out the ir-rat-ional hatred of teemo.

When to play AP Teemo:
-When you are not expected to fill the 100-0 burst role or the bruiser/tanky dps role. AP Teemo works great as a mid if you have an AP jungler. Neither of you has to be 100% of the ap damage so the lack of instagib potential is ok. Don't be the 4th squishy on a team full of squishies if you're going top, that makes you a dick. Play Riven.
-When you are not going against someone who has the following: targeted nukes, longer aa range than you, 100-0 potential.

-Bad mids to play AP Teemo against: Ryze, Annie, Leblanc. You can't dodge their damage and they can combo you 100-0.
-Bad tops to play AP Teemo against: Jayce, Jax, Vladimir. Jayce will obliterate you probably regardless of skill level, the others are more of the same: heavy unavoidable damage.
-Good mids to play AP Teemo against: Morgana, Lux, Ahri: really anyone with skillshot damage. Bob and weave, baby.
-Good tops to play AP Teemo against: Renekton, Udyr, anyone like that, melee with a predictable attack pattern. You will ruin their gaming experience this match, enjoy.
-"Skiller" matchups: Darius, Irelia, Rumble. If you know what you are doing you will beat them. If you are still learning your (or their) limits, they will probably crush you over and over. Everyone thinks Teemo is some kind of magical counter to Darius, this is simply not true. The entire matchup comes down to his Apprehend (E). If he hits that pull, you are almost certainly dead. If he misses it, you have 22 seconds to make his life a living hell. He will retreat and you will get to walk the razor's edge of playing mistake-free and earning your lane win, because if you don't, he will dunk your muppet ass.

---------
TL;DR : I don't care about all this nonsense lil g, give me the damn build!
R>E>Q>W
AP Quints, MPen Reds, MR Blues.
Depending on your matchup: Armor or MP5 Yellows
21 Offense, grab both pen masteries.
Depending on your matchup: 9 in D for armor/hp, or 9 in U for mana regen and movespeed.
This is really all about who you are laning against. To err on the side of caution or if you suspect a laneswitch, run 21/9 and the armor yellows.

Start Boots+3, start E. At level two you do this: aa, Q, aa. It will take half their health. They might do something stupid like try to kill you with autoattacks while blinded. An ignite might seal the deal for FB.
Your first back depends on how much money you have. You're looking to build a Nashor's Tooth and a Malady for your early game domination, these items synergize extremely well with your E. First back probably means the Fiendish Codex. If you have enough money, straight buy the Malady. If you don't, the codex will keep you pumping out shrooms to set up your early defenses at 6.

Ok you've got the Nashor's Tooth and Malady. You have all your attack speed and you have maxxed out E, while absolutely terrorizing your lane opponent. You've grabbed the Sorc Shoes. Your next item is the almighty DCap which will turn your shrooms into hilarious roach motels for anyone creeping around low on hp. From there it's really a grab bag of what you need. Tower pushing is a Lichbane, Armor is a Zhonya's. Do not build a Rylai's! It is very expensive and does not help you in any way. It doesn't work how you think it does. Do not buy.

Oh no, I'm losing my lane, what is happening, this bruiser is destroying me!
Buy a Phage. Do it when you spawn in the fountain 0-2.
"But lil g, this is an AP Teemo build! Are you an idiot??"
Yes, yes I am. That Phage is the cornerstone of the old school bruiser build and it is what allows you to kite with impunity, mixes up your damage output a little, and boosts your health. You think you want a Rylai's, but you are wrong. What you want is a Frozen Mallet for your lategame survivability item. Good hp and permaslow. It's not fun playing as a short range autoattacker with 1600 hp, take my word for it, you are going to get stepped on.

------
Confessions of a Teemo addict: tips and tricks to infuriate and dominate.

You are Teemo, the master of guerilla warfare! Everyone knows not to chase Singed. Everyone knows you have a million shrooms all over the map. Use this to your advantage. Pop in for a quick aa Q aa and duck into a brush, they won't chase you! This becomes an exercise in frustration for anyone trying to farm anywhere.

Blinding Dart (Q) is an autoattack reset. This means you fire off an aa, drop a q, and instantly aa again. You have high attack speed as it is, the target now has 2 stacks of E and the Q dot on him and has to make the instant decision wether to fight or run. People panic.
You have ridiculously high movespeed, use it! Constantly move towards and away from your opponent, always chipping away with your aa Q aa combo any time you get close enough. Even if you only get close enough for a Q, it's still nice damage. How do people lasthit when picking up 20 gold might cost them 30% of their health? They won't know either. They can't chase you anyway.

Teemo is well-known for two things: dropping invisible mushrooms in bushes, and going invisible in bushes. This is fine, this is great, do this. But also do this: put mushrooms where they CAN see them. Go into stealth in front of them, do it all the time. Walk into brushes, walk out. Stealth right next to a brush. Use every dirty mind trick you can think of. You are the king of deception. They are going to stop calling MIA on you. They are going to assume you are trying to dick them over and play even more passively. You have the entire river and the jungle warded at this point, you're pooping shrooms faster than a bad peyote trip.

Teleporting onto shrooms. You can be anywhere on the map at any time, because your shrooms are everywhere! You have been dropping them on cd for 40 min, they have a 10 min uptime. They are EVERYWHERE. You are omnipresent. You are the god of teleporting into a runner, into the jungle, onto your secret funnyfunny man kill bush shroom. You are Twisted Fate except good. Eat that, Misaya.

Nothing beats a bunched-up teamfight like running into the center of it and dumping a shroom right on top of their team. It's hilarious, it's chaotic, and you can probably pull it off without a scratch since you are NEVER EVER the first person into a fight. Everyone is slowed, everyone is dying, everyone is screaming FOCUS TEEMO!! Focus teemo? Focus who? You are vapor, you were never there, and you are already streaking into the bush. Will they chase you?!

Allchat. I could write a book on this shit. Use it to the best of your ability, even if all you do is type "lolo" after a lucky shroom kill. Teemo has crazy strong global taunt, make them gun for you, they will actually chase you through multiple shrooms if you piss them off enough. That's a keyboard-shattering RQ just waiting to happen.

Ok so this is the most words I've ever written on a champ. Teemo is not my favorite champ, he's not my best champ, he's not close to my top 10 of either. He is a boatload of fun and an absolute terror for people who are stubborn, stupid, or unorganized, and he will win many games for you.
Even if you think I'm full of shit and it's idiotic to build a fromo on AP Teemo, do it anyway. Try out a game where you get to a full build. I've been noticing a lot of people don't even own Teemo, why the hell not? He's only 1350ip and you will get way more mileage out of him if you understand what's happening in the test drive. Oh yeah, you will probably feed like hell while you try to sort out your ranges compared to things like Irelia's Q, Darius' E, and the other various and sundry "teemo killing" moves. So don't do it in my games. TIA and much love, bring on the continued reign of King Fuzzy.

lil g

[quadz08]

I think I love you.

[DeathRowKitty]

I think quadz loves you.