*points to literally the entirety of third page of iso*
I did.
You've not been a consistent scumread.
You've wavered.
Consistently.
I've been trying to work you out.
I've been trying to sort out your alignment.
I've been putting effort into the read.
Even reached out to you.
And this time, you're the one who's been blocking me, rather than vice-versa.
Because I've been listing things that have concerned me. I've been a literal fucking open book about my thoughts, on everything, about how I feel, and I get nothing.
And it's not just you. Aside from a singular scumread on AP and not wavering on Titan/DesBRO/F-16/Yggdra townreads, there's basically been zero reads of mine that have been set in stone. Because I haven't been biasing. Because I HAVE been trying to figure things out. Hell! Even my second-strongest scumread, on PV. That's something that's been there far, FAR more often than not. But I'm wavering. I'm not sure. God, I wish I was. I wanted to sheep Rancid, there, so damn badly. But specifically because of my trust in others and self-doubt, I haven't been. It's literally right there in front of your fucking eyes.
That doubt.
Everywhere.
When I say to read my damn posts.
I really mean to read my god-damned posts.
Because I've been reaching out, I've been trying to solidify, I've been trying to get things coherent, I've been trying to piece things together, to work with others, to bridge the gap and figure things out, as I said a town leader should be. And bluntly, I haven't been succeeding. Because nobody has been listening to me. They'll occasionally (not consistently) respond to me. But they're not truly paying attention. They're not putting the time and effort that I am into things. They're not trying to truly figure me out. They say they are. And I'm sure the town players among them fully believe they are. But there's an entire lack of evidence that they actually have. Because every time that I try to work with them. Every time I explain myself. Every time that I have been doing what they have said they're also doing...the result I get is a stone wall, blocking it. A burnt bridge. Not following through on inquiries they asked me. Not responding to inquiries of mine. Lashing out. Calling my moves scum-driven. Calling my posting noise.
Which is why I say it, and will say it once again.
The effort is there. The attempt is there. To let others see me, because it's right in front of them. They just have to give the actual effort they claim they want to give.
So go ahead. Do you have questions for me?
Be honest. Do you?
If you spent the time reading my iso, do you think that I don't raise a lot of good points?
If you read the game, do you see how many of my questions went unaddressed but someone else later asked the same thing and got a response?
I'm not asking to be sheeped. (Though I'd of course like that, onto AP.) I am asking to be listened to. And bluntly?
My main concern to you. Boiled down. What all my other points trace back to, at their very core. Is that while you talk the talk about reaching out...I'm not seeing walking the walk and actually pay attention. You're making assumptions. You're being defensive. Snappy. Lashing out about it. Things that I have said, which were not made in ill will. Things that were legitimate concerns. Raised not to lynch you, but to get clarity about you.
I am the polar opposite of being confirmation bias right now. Because I have perfect clarity...on how much I lack clarity at all.