UnCouTh mAfia - [UnCouTh eNding]

[Muffin]

Be sure to look off-wagon for the last scum, they might be one of the inactives.

[ChannelDelibird]

What the balls just happened?

[Nachomamma8]

HUEHUEHUHUEHUEHUEHUE

[Serene2]

The tall Serene was still ambling up the stairs with the delicately putrefying canine corpse of pirate mollie, struggling to do the job on his own, noticing that the prisoners strangely quiet. He felt a sticky substance splash in the back of its neck. He reached to wipe it off with his hand, assuming this was going to be another spray of permanently staining condiments from Bookitty, and was filled with contentment and satisfaction to when he saw that is was blood. "Hey" he shouted out to share the good news with the other two Serenes whose steps he could hear upstairs, "I think the experimental subjects are getting in the swing of things!"

The steps quickened their pace. Lady Serene, coming down with a still giddy, slowly sobering up smart Serene, was astounded to witness one of the most inspiring spectacles of her life, one that she would remember fondly forever. The tall Serene was beaming. In a fit of savagery, the prisoners had not wasted one precious moment on pointless dialogue and conciliation; they had acted in unison, a perfectly tuned hive-mind, and had jumped on Muffin to devour him, like a pack of hungry dogs.

"Beautiful. Beautiful." whispered the tall, awestruck Serene. "We have to let them finish their meals," Lady Serene suggested wisely. The smart Serene agreed: "We need to reward this. Let them have last night's corpse, too! Besides, I am getting a little tired digging shallow graves by the highway... but the kicker is that we'll be able to save on the catering."

Lady Serene clutched her pearls. "We must not delay in dignifying this positive development!" She pulled out her tablet, and Skype dialed Reverend Insincere (currently waiting to be bailed out on some trivial solicitation charges), and turned the tablet towards the feasting prisoners. Tall Serene walked up the stairs ahead of the other two.

"Very few of us will miss our friend, the Internet Stalker. In fact we're probably richer for having lost him. He did not forgive, he did not forget. He once hacked my cellphone and posted compromising pictures of me and a member of my parish to my Facebook page. I... probably shouldn't have mentioned that for those of you that never saw it. And so, Internet Stalker, better known as Chris Jones of 432 Maple Drive, Springfield Illinois, who drove his 2005 Ford Focus (vanity plate 'LOLPWN' to his daily job at Happy Burger, and died a virgin--- that's right, that's what you get for confessing your sins--- we commit you to the Lord's loving embrace. Or, more likely, the other guy."

Tall Serene came back and tossed the prisoners a few bottles of Kraft BBQ sauce.

They smiled at each other, held arms in fraternity. Sure it was before 10AM, but it's never too early for celebratory cocktails at the Bada Bing.

VOTECOUNT

Muffin (5): fferyllt, AngryPidgeon, Untrod Tripod, Nachomamma8, NobodySpecial
AngryPidgeon (1): Muffin

With 9 alive, it takes 5 to lynch.

INFRACTIONS

NONE!

Muffin, Vanilla townie, was unceremoniously turned into chewy tartar.

Deadline for night: (expired on 2015-03-06 09:00:00)

[Serene2]

[An unseen hand turns on the lights in the basement. The prisoners look up, expecting to see the Serenes. Instead, a sinister bald man wearing a monocle stands at the top of the stairs. With an air of arrogant superiority, he descends the stairway.]

"At last I've found you," says the man, "after all these weeks of our cat and mouse game! Don't you know, Baron Happleblap, Fifteenth Baron of the Happleblap Line is always one step ahead?! You thought you'd killed me, didn't you? Oh, no, sir, that was merely one of my body doubles! A common ploy, I'm surprised you fell for it."

[He surveys the prisoners, looking at this undignified and uncouth bunch with disdain.]

"Surprised," he says, "and yet... I see the company you keep, and I'm not surprised. Yes, Nachomamma8, my hated nemesis, your day of reckoning has come! The chain letters... the vaguely racist graffiti... chemically burning your OWN NAME into my lawn! Today I'll see you in hell and---"

[He approaches the side of the room where Nachomamma8 has been confined, and stops in his tracks. Nachomamma8 is already quite dead, having been killed in the night.]

"Wh--- what is this?! No... NO! WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE?! THIS MAN WAS MINE TO KILL!"

[Baron Happleblap drops to his knees, draping himself over Nachomamma8's corpse.]

"You people are pigs! You've robbed me of my purpose in life! What have I got left now to live for?! NOTHING! WORSE THAN NOTHING! I'm a man without an enemy! Now who will I hate?! I've hated this man for so long, it's become a part of me! I don't want to live in a world without you, sweet prince!"

[Baron Happleblap sobs uncontrollably, drawing a handgun and putting it to his own head. Before he can join Nachomamma8 in death, the smart Serene steps behind him and injects Baron Happleblap with a powerful sedative, rendering him unconscious. The other two Serenes join him next to the two prone forms.]

"Yeah, none of that," says the Smart One.

"Doesn't this guy know how much body bags cost?" asks Lady Serene.

"Should we get the Reverend?"

"Nah," says the Loud One, "I don't really think he could deliver a eulogy as well as this guy. Let's get him back to his castle. Or wherever it is that barons live these days."

[Lady Serene and the Smart One stuff Nachomamma8 into a body bag, and begin dragging him upstairs. The Loud Serene grabs Baron Happleblap by the feet and drags him up the stairs too. The day has begun, now make with the murder.]

Nachomamma8, Town Mason, was spared the ignominy of being slaughtered by Baron Happleblap!

[Titus]

You people hammered muffin faster than a high cheetah on cocaine. Really I had not even posted.

VOTE: NS

Can we do this or UT now?

[Untrod Tripod]

not to be Kirk Cameron at Hannukah, but why are you voting NS? is it just policy or has he done some legit scummy stuff?

to be fair, the hammer was pretty bad, but....

I'm just curious, because I've wasted a lot of time in my mafia career trying to policy lynch a town NS

[fferyllt]

I hoped I'd be the mason that was hauled off the field last night. Didn't expect, but hoped.

He and I had/have 3 town reads we're willing to bet the game on: AP, Bookitty and Titus. And another town read we feel really good about: NS.

That leaves CDB, UT, and if we have to go there, NS.

My preferred lynch order is exactly that - CDB, first.

Discuss. Over beer.

[Titus]

Really, NS has had two suspicious hammers and your slot's posts have defended him for both shitty hammers harder than a drunk dog on ectacsy.

[Titus]

I hoped I'd be the mason that was hauled off the field last night. Didn't expect, but hoped.

He and I had/have 3 town reads we're willing to bet the game on: AP, Bookitty and Titus. And another town read we feel really good about: NS.

That leaves CDB, UT, and if we have to go there, NS.

My preferred lynch order is exactly that - CDB, first.

Discuss. Over beer.

I would be willing to lynch UT as I see a grave possibility of UT whiteknighting the slot as if he was a black bat in a cave dodging the flashlight.

[Bookitty]

Please don't let my dilapidated and strawberry-ice-cream-stained overalls fool you. I know it's not playtime now.

Ffery is conftown. To me, AngryPidgeon is conftown for pushing Brantz's lynch.

Both Titus and ChannelDelibird defended Brantz; however, there's a difference in how they did it. Titus just dismissed the suspicion in Post 834 and actually pushed other wagons pretty hard. CDB, however, was pretty lurky (I'm not reading into that too much, but it's there) and said Brantz was town early on. In Post 839 he was still against a Brantz lynch. He expressed suspicion of Nachomamma in Post 841 but didn't vote there. Titus insists that Brantz will flip town (with some pretty aggressive phrasing) in Post 869.

I have good reason to be suspicious of CDB, as Ffery can verify. Titus was very wrong about Brantz, but her suspicions seem pretty organic and I can see the confbias working there. CDB hadn't even voted during the day phase that ended with the Brantz lynch that I can see. He also weighed in to express surprise at the Brantz flip, which in retrospect looks pretty creepy, like that suspicious barbecue stain on the shirt of a self-proclaimed vegan.

I believe that Titus is stubborn about her reads, and I think that she is exhibiting that tendency here. I believe that CDB is probably smarter than me and could fool me as scum. I believe there is only one scum left.

I believe I will vote CDB. But I don't want to lay down a vote at this time because of the history of quicklynches and hammers. Just consider my vote functionally on CDB.

My suspicion of the UT slot has to do more with repeated replace outs and less to do with actual posting outside the T-bone temporary occupancy. It just feels like that slot bleeds players like my cone bled strawberry ice cream all over my awesome playclothes today.

[Titus]

Bookitty, which would bleed more players? Town with one scum left or scum with one scum left?

VOTE: UT

Pretty sure AP, Bookitty and FFery are all town.

[ChannelDelibird]

Hello. Given my defence of BRantz and my lesser degree of engagement in this game than some other players, I'm fully expecting to be lynched Today and, given that there's probably only one scum left, I'm not going to worry too much about letting you guys get that out of the way, as there's a good chance that I'd be dragged along to LyLo from here.

I certainly want to nail down who I think the last scum is before I die, though, so a little time would be appreciated.

[ChannelDelibird]

ALSO I REALLY FELL FLAT ON MY FACE BY FAILING TO MENTION HOW CLUMSY I AM JUST NOW, AM I RIGHT

[Untrod Tripod]

NS... no... UT! ...tell me who to vote guys, I'll just do whoever!

Titus twists and shouts around more than Paul McCartney trying to pretend he wrote the song

[Untrod Tripod]

Pine is a fucking lurker, T-bone has been RL busy, notty WHO THE FUCK KNOWS

how about rather than just Mitt Romneying all over the thread, you come up with some actual scumreads

(was "whiteknighting" supposed to be a case? because lol)

[Titus]

NS... no... UT! ...tell me who to vote guys, I'll just do whoever!

Titus twists and shouts around more than Paul McCartney trying to pretend he wrote the song

I have voted you or NS the past several game days. I am just working with people I townread to get it done.

If you're going to try and discredit, you need to have an argument better than a wet bird flapping in oil.

[Untrod Tripod]

I hoped I'd be the mason that was hauled off the field last night

so are we just going to Ray Charles this, or will we actually push on it?

NS... no... UT! ...tell me who to vote guys, I'll just do whoever!

Titus twists and shouts around more than Paul McCartney trying to pretend he wrote the song

I have voted you or NS the past several game days. I am just working with people I townread to get it done.

If you're going to try and discredit, you need to have an argument better than a wet bird flapping in oil.

girl please. you're still trying to chain mislynches.

[Untrod Tripod]

I hoped I'd be the mason that was hauled off the field last night. Didn't expect, but hoped.

He and I had/have 3 town reads we're willing to bet the game on: AP, Bookitty and Titus. And another town read we feel really good about: NS.

That leaves CDB, UT, and if we have to go there, NS.

My preferred lynch order is exactly that - CDB, first.

Discuss. Over beer.

I would be willing to lynch UT as I see a grave possibility of UT whiteknighting the slot as if he was a black bat in a cave dodging the flashlight.

yeah Marilyn vos Savant, I'm totally going to push away a mislynch to bring a lynch onto myself as the last scum

uh huh

makes total sense if you don't think about it at all

[fferyllt]

UT, have some buffalo wings.who do you think is scum?

[fferyllt]

I have good reason to be suspicious of CDB, as Ffery can verify.

I wish I had a better handle on his scum game. Hoped I would after Reck's game, but I dunno.

I'm basically pinning my UT read on how I felt about notsci while he was active. I don't know if that's a good thing to do or not. I felt like I was talking to town in all our interactions.

As scum he could have feigned his usual town paranoia about nacho and me for months without raising my eyebrow. He didn't do that. He also didn't do his "I'm obvtown" thing nearly as emphatically as he usually does.

Nacho liked UT's entrance when he replaced in.

[Bookitty]

Okay, with the caveat that I'm not the greatest scumhunter, I am thinking this is UT-town.

I'm thinking it strongly enough that it overrules what I was thinking about T-bone.

So there's that.

[Bookitty]

And at the risk of smearing chicken casserole all over my kid-tested mother-approved Keds, we need to be watching our post restrictions. BE CAREFUL. It would be a stupid way to lose.

[AngryPidgeon]

I actually kind of thought ffery might be a mason.

I'll get my head in this game when I can stomach it.

[fferyllt]

I hoped I'd be the mason that was hauled off the field last night. Didn't expect, but hoped.

He and I had/have 3 town reads we're willing to bet the game on: AP, Bookitty and Titus. And another town read we feel really good about: NS.

That leaves CDB, UT, and if we have to go there, NS.

My preferred lynch order is exactly that - CDB, first.

Discuss. Over beer.

I would be willing to lynch UT as I see a grave possibility of UT whiteknighting the slot as if he was a black bat in a cave dodging the flashlight.

You were scumreading CDB right after you replaced in, and were scumreading him the next day. What happened?

In a way, this feels like a really weak read. But in another way, it boggles my mind how little impact he's had on the game. And that's nulling out his brantz read. He's hardly been off the bench for most of the game.