UnCouTh mAfia - [UnCouTh eNding]

[AngryPidgeon]

BECAUSE ITSN OT VCA. ITS YOU MAKING AN ASSERTION OFF OF A SINGLE VOTE COUNT THAT HAPPENED ON P4 THAT MEANT JACKSHIT BY ITSELF.

I SINCERELY HOPE ITS ACTUALLY BOOKITTY

[Serene2]

CNN Live coverage: Standoff at the Bada Bing: Hour 28

"With night falling at the Bada Bing, the assorted government agencies are doing everything they can to keep the level of bloodshed to a minimum. The American Historical Society has now dispatched a SWAT Team to the scene, claiming that the strip club rests on an ancient Native American burial ground. In 1977, an alleged haunting occurred there, which later became the basis for the pornographic film "Debbie Does A Ghost." This brings the number of law enforcement agencies at the Bada Bing to six, as well as numerous not-for-profit charities and community outreach groups. Earlier today, the Christian Coalition arrived in tanks borrowed from the Salvation Army, but they were quickly outgunned by soldiers representing the Monsanto Corporation..."

Deadline: (expired on 2015-04-23 09:00:00)

VOTECOUNT

AngryPigeon (3): AngryPigeon, Titus, Untrod Tripod. LYNCH

With 5 alive, it takes 3 to lynch.

INFRACTIONS

Untrod Tripod: 3/3
fferrylt: 1/3
Titus: 1/3

flavor and flip in about 90 minutes

[Serene2]

[With the talking heads on television endlessly speculating about messy deaths for everyone in the building, the tension in the basement is at an all-time high. Loud Serene is becoming more agitated by the minute, pacing back and forth while muttering the curses of a long-forgotten and vengeful god. Lady Serene glares at the prisoners, desperately hoping that this therapy session ends before the SWAT teams outside bring the standoff to a messy end. Smart Serene is continuously making phone calls to the hostage negotiators, the media, his attorney, his therapist, and his mechanic. Loud Serene absent-mindedly paces past AngryPidgeon, who trips Loud Serene. The Loud One fumbles his RPG-7 rocket launcher, and AngryPidgeon picks it up.]

"Wait," says Loud Serene, "Let's not be hasty."

"NO!" shouts AngryPidgeon, "They've chosen for me to die. I don't care if I die today, but I'll be god damned if I'm going alone!"

"Jesus Christ!" says Loud Serene, taking cover while AngryPidgeon tracks him with the explosives launcher. "Don't just stand there, get him!"

"Hold on, now," says Lady Serene, "Let's see where he's going with this."

"When you get to hell, tell them AngryPidgeon sent you!" He shouts, firing the rocket at Loud Serene.

[Unfortunately for the prisoner, a burst of flame fires from the back of the rocket launcher while the dud payload tumbles harmlessly to the floor. AngryPidgeon screams, wreathed from head to toe in fire. He stops, drops, and rolls. This smothers the rocket-fueled flames somewhat, but not before he is suffering third degree burns over his entire body. He very quickly expires on the basement floor. The prisoners and the Serenes are coughing and choking from the smoke and charred flesh.]

"Boy, am I glad I didn't try to fire THAT thing myself!" says the Loud Serene.

"Right?" says Lady Serene, snickering.

[With that, the lights suddenly go out, leaving the basement in darkness. The only light is from the phone in Smart Serene's hand.]

"Yeah," says Smart Serene, "the FBI has cut the power to the building."

"Damn," says Lady Serene, "we're so close to the end. You bunch can try and get some sleep. We're gonna work on the generator."

[Stumbling over the corpses, prisoners, rats and garbage in the basement, the Serenes get to work attempting to restore the power in the basement. Night 6 has begun.]

AngryPidgeon, "The Gastroenterologist, Vanilla Townie, was barbecued Day 6.

Says Reverend Insincere: "The Gastro-Enterologist was probably the only one among you with anything close to a medical degree. I mean, sure, he may have gotten his degree from Blugger State Community College, and of course he was the subject of multiple malpractice suits. But listen, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have doing my colonoscopy. And now he's gone. Who am I going to go to now for my exam? Thanks alot, now I'm going to get colon cancer. I hope you people get warts."

Deadline: (expired on 2015-04-09 09:00:00)

[Serene2]

[The prisoners are awakened by the sound of cursing, as well as that of boots meeting metal repeatedly. There's a sputter, then another, then finally the generator kicks in. It chugs to life, bringing the lights on in the basement. Loud Serene and Lady Serene are standing next to the generator, smiling proudly and covered in what is hopefully motor oil. Smart Serene has been attaching an intricate tripwire to the basement door. Lady Serene looks over the remaining prisoners, and sees fferylt lying in a pool of blood. Reverend Insincere shrugs it off, he's pretty blasé by now.]

"And then there were three," says Lady Serene. "This will be the final day of the experiment."

"Which is for the better, really," says Loud Serene, "Pretty sure the SWAT team is going to breach and shoot us today anyhow."

"Nah," says Smart Serene, "The carbon monoxide from that piece of shit generator will probably kill us all before the cops get a chance."

[Loud Serene, looking more despondent than usual, turns on the television.]

"...Hour 36 of the standoff at the Bada Bing. To recap, police have positively identified the remains of a number of bodies in a nearby unmarked mass grave. Among the dead were multiple gunshot and strangulation victims, as well as one victim that had been partially eaten. You may remember that the situation started when police were tipped off by a jogger who found a body which had been unceremoniously dumped under a tree..."

[Smart Serene and Lady Serene look over at Loud Serene.]

"What?" says Loud Serene, "You guys were out of town! For fuck's sake, you know how hard it is to drag those bodies around by yourself?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," says Lady Serene, "The end is near. Our important work has almost come to a close."

"Yes," says Smart Serene, "I've already been hard at work preparing to... collate the data from this experiment."

"And if we die before the end?" asks Loud Serene.

"We won't," says Lady Serene, "But just in case..."

[Lady Serene turns toward the three remaining prisoners, her semi-automatic in her hand. She glares icily at her hostages.]

"Try and make it quick," she says, with all the compassion and heart of a feasting shark.

[And then there were three. Although the SWAT team was probably right now preparing to breach the basement (which would soon be filled to the brim with deadly carbon monoxide gas due to the generator), the game was not over. Day has begun.]

fferyllt - TOWN MASON - DRUNKEN SPORTS FAN, will be missing the NHL playoffs, too.

[Reverend Insincere stands before the weary, gray-faced basement dwellers, human, rodent, and arthropod alike. He's distracted by a small portable television.]

"Friends and... miscellaneous... We're gathered here today to... what are you doing? Drop back and pass! The Drunken sports fan has gone on into the Lord's lovi--- no, dammit, run around the blitz--- Truly he loved life and--- Damn you Flacco, just throw the damn ball! Throw it!--- We're all sadder and less full of life for having lost--- Throw it! YES! YES! TOUCHDOWWWWNNNN WHOOOOOOO! PRAISE JESUS THEY'VE COVERED THE SPREAD! THIRTY FIVE HUNDRED BIG ONES AHAHAHAHAHAHA"

[Reverend Insincere jumps up and down, rushing to call his bookie.]

Deadline: (expired on 2015-04-30 09:00:00)

[Titus]

Ok, I need to redo my VCA in its entirety but I intend to vote UT.

UT, you should make a case on Bookitty.
Bookitty you should make a case on UT.

Both should make town cases on yourselves.

[Titus]

Off to work for me.

[Untrod Tripod]

eh heh heh heh heh heh heh

hehehehehehehehe

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

vote: Titus

GET DUNKED

AM 3-SHOT WATCHER

SAVED MY LAST TWO SHOTS FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS

WATCHED FFER

SAW TITUS

GET DUNKED YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG

[Untrod Tripod]

SOMETHING SOMETHING EARRINGS

SOMETHING SOMETHING ROBERT DENIRO

IDGAF THAT WAS THE LAST POST I'M MAKING THIS GAME

[Titus]

VOTE: Unipod Tripod

Well thanks for saving me the hassle. I kinda thought you were trying to frame bookitty with goat testicles.

But nope, my scum pool was right again.

[Bookitty]

Do I really need to make a case now, Titus?

I can't see any way you're scum, so:

VOTE: Untrod Tripod

[Untrod Tripod]

got a fetish for losing Boo?

[Untrod Tripod]

let me just say publicly: fuck you Pine, fuck you notscience, a little less fuck you but still fuck you T-Bone for completely ruining this slot

I didn't have a fucking prayer

[Bookitty]

I don't believe you.

If I'm wrong, I'll take the hit, but that claim isn't really believable to me given previous play (and lack thereof) in that slot.

[Titus]

Well we won Bookitty. GG.

Dancing with my pet snail on my doorstep.

[Bookitty]

Seriously, Titus?
<3 <3 <3

So awesome

[Titus]

Thanks for the faith Boo.

The proper response for Boo scum was to shoot UT.

Fferylt would vote me bc myVCA was wrong.

[Untrod Tripod]

oh yeah, Boo and Titus, you totally won, good job

great game from Titus

not sure how I survived as long as I did, but I guess I'm preeeeeeeeeeetty slippery

[Untrod Tripod]

I was super tempted to just get myself modkilled and end it when I replaced in, but when you can play three days of a painful game in a doomed slot you have to do it

seriously, Pine and notscience, fuck you

[Bookitty]

I guess I'm preeeeeeeeeeetty slippery

You're likable, UT. It's hard to want to lynch you!

[Untrod Tripod]

from the mafia PT

Titus, when you read this thread after the game just know that I feel really shitty about having to try to discredit your reads

[Untrod Tripod]

I've just been in the mafia PT yelling at no one for the past month

it's been kind of weird

[Titus]

Actually TBone was the worst...those two were meh.

You were a good sport.

Sorry AP. I always go for the wrong one in my pool.

More feedback later, including why AP.

I would appeciate your civil feedback.

[Untrod Tripod]

also I hate playing scum because when someone has an airtight case on you, it's like "well... I know... and I'm impressed by your deductions....but.... I'm gonna have to be an obstinate dick instead"

[Titus]

from the mafia PT

Titus, when you read this thread after the game just know that I feel really shitty about having to try to discredit your reads

Don't. It is your job. If you were demeaning feel bad but scum job to throw off town.

[Untrod Tripod]

oh, yeah, I know, and I'm pretty good at it

like, jesus fucking christ, I was dead to rights the day I replaced in

I just HATE doing it