Planet Earth Rankdown (Round 7)

[CuddlyCaucasian]

I'm going to drag this round for at least a week after that cut

rounds are supposed to last 9 days anyways

[D3f3nd3r]

165. Benin

Once upon a time, D3f took French. He had to do a project about a French-speaking country and its geography, culture, etc. While some people got great countries, from France to Luxembourg to Belgium (great by normal standards, clearly not by the standards of the other rankers), D3f got stuck with a little country in Africa called Benin.

Its capital is something out of Portuguese or Spanish (what Frenchman calls something Porto-Novo?), its seasons are the wet season and the dry season, its national food is porridge, and everyone is really, really poor. It was also Communist for 15 years. It's not interesting or good. Bye.

[Flameaxe]

164. Democratic Republic of Congo

Yo whys this shit gotta happen at like every wedding? Stop trying to make it happen. Its not going to happen. Its not even fun to join in when you're drunk, and something with that tagline definitely deserves 164th.

[Radja]

163. Greece

If you like the net worth of a country to be a really steep slide, Greece would be number 1. That's not how countries are ranked though, so goodbye!

[CuddlyCaucasian]

BBM i almost made a conga line joke this round ihy

[D3f3nd3r]

Aronis it's been nine days

[McMenno]

but has YOUR MOM been nine days lmao

[Aronis]

162. Afganistan

Wars and fighting. It's all the middle east knows and as much as I hate to be serious, most of these countries need to go. With the evil Assad regime, ISIS, Israel being aggressive, etc. The entire middle east is a pretty awful place right now and Afganistan isn't an exception.

[CuddlyCaucasian]

ohey it's round 5

[McMenno]

161:

Andorra

Antigua and Barbuda

Antiwhat and Barbuwhat

also known as the land 365 beaches, and well that doesn't work in a leap year, and a leap year just ended so byebye anitgua and barbuda

[Haschel Cedricson]

160. El Salvador

I understand that this cut might be a little controversial, but we are five rounds into this and it's time to start cutting nations that aren't living up to their potential. El Salvador is an OKAY country, and objectively it probably deserves to make it a few more rounds. But El Salvador came into the world literally promising us all that it was The Savior. They were so cocksure that they would be the salvation of the world they even named their capital Holy Savior. That's a tall promise, and I think we can all agree that El Salvador has come nowhere near living up to it. El Salvador should really be called "James the Lesser" at best, or whatever the Spanish version of that is. El Salvador talks a big game, but ultimately fails to deliver and therefore Round 5 is as far as they will ultimately go.

Also, it would be easy to nickname their military the Salvation Army and fuck the Salvation Army.

[BROseidon]

159. Portugal

Look at this fuckboi. This asshole is Christiano Ronaldo. Many people consider him to be the greatest soccer player currently playing. The guy is a colossal tool. He bitched during the Euros about how Iceland was being "small" for celebrating a tie against Portugal in groups. Do you know how many people Iceland has? 323,000. Do you know how many people Portugal has? 10.5 million. So yeah, pretty good on Iceland to get that draw as massive underdogs.

Speaking of the Euros, Portugal's win was fucking garbage. Like, they're statistically the worst team to win a continental championship, like, ever. They only got out of groups because the Euro cup does the stupid "some 3rd place teams get out" bullshit that we all know fucking sucks, and they drew every game through the fucking semis. And like, it's hilarious when a country like Paraguay does it to get to the finals of Copa America because Paraguay is a tiny-ass nation in a region of giants that struggles to keep up, but this is fucking Portugal. When you're the big guy, it's not cute. It's fucking stupid.

So in short, Christiano Ronaldo is an asshole and Portugal sucks.

[Radja]

158. Vanuatu

Cutting this cause I'm one of these people:

[D3f3nd3r]

157. Comoros

They are averaging one coup every two years since 1975. By the time this rankdown is over, they will probably have another one. According to Wikipedia, four of them involved a guy named Bob Denard. What happened:
Bob Denard and Guy 1 overthrow the gov't.
Bob Denard and Guy 2 overthrow Guy 1's successor.
Bob Denard and Guy 3 overthrow Guy 2,
Bob Denard overthrows Guy 3.

So yeah, bye Bob Denard and Comoros.

[McMenno]

but what about chad did he drunkfeed bob denard and tell him maybe conoros can't consent but you can still coup her

[xRECKONERx]

159. Portugal

Look at this fuckboi. This asshole is Christiano Ronaldo. Many people consider him to be the greatest soccer player currently playing. The guy is a colossal tool. He bitched during the Euros about how Iceland was being "small" for celebrating a tie against Portugal in groups. Do you know how many people Iceland has? 323,000. Do you know how many people Portugal has? 10.5 million. So yeah, pretty good on Iceland to get that draw as massive underdogs.

Speaking of the Euros, Portugal's win was fucking garbage. Like, they're statistically the worst team to win a continental championship, like, ever. They only got out of groups because the Euro cup does the stupid "some 3rd place teams get out" bullshit that we all know fucking sucks, and they drew every game through the fucking semis. And like, it's hilarious when a country like Paraguay does it to get to the finals of Copa America because Paraguay is a tiny-ass nation in a region of giants that struggles to keep up, but this is fucking Portugal. When you're the big guy, it's not cute. It's fucking stupid.

So in short, Christiano Ronaldo is an asshole and Portugal sucks.

this is a travesty

[BROseidon]

no u

[Drench]

but what about chad did he drunkfeed bob denard and tell him maybe conoros can't consent but you can still coup her

banworthy post

[CuddlyCaucasian]

157. Comoros

They are averaging one coup every two years since 1975. By the time this rankdown is over, they will probably have another one. According to Wikipedia, four of them involved a guy named Bob Denard. What happened:
Bob Denard and Guy 1 overthrow the gov't.
Bob Denard and Guy 2 overthrow Guy 1's successor.
Bob Denard and Guy 3 overthrow Guy 2,
Bob Denard overthrows Guy 3.

So yeah, bye Bob Denard and Comoros.

honestly this Bob Denard guy sounds like a badass and i want to know more about him and his exploits

[D3f3nd3r]

Other Bob Denard facts:

He converted three different times: from Catholicism, to Judaism, to Islam, back to Catholicism
He married seven times
He attempted a coup in Benin, calling the attempt Operation Shrimp

[CuddlyCaucasian]

Other Bob Denard facts:

He converted three different times: from Catholicism, to Judaism, to Islam, back to Catholicism
He married seven times
He attempted a coup in Benin, calling the attempt Operation Shrimp

how did you cut this hero

[D3f3nd3r]

Bob Denard is French.

[D3f3nd3r]

Remember this?

[Cheery Dog]

I was going to cut something tomorrow, totally.

[Cheery Dog]

156. Egypt

I don't know if this really deserves to go here, but it was the first country I thought of when cutting something to do with cats.

Because someone needs to deal with the shit on the floor.

Also why pyramids? And why are there camels in every photo taken of them?