Fate sat apart from the few surviving campers, typing furiously on his laptop.
ICING ON THE CUPCAKE OF FATE
BY S. D. CLAN
KATSUKI'S IRIDESCENT VERDANT IRISES SCINTILLATED IN THE INFERNAL LIGHT OF THE SMOULDERING CAMPFIRE AS THE SETTING SUN PAINTED THE CELESTIAL HEAVENS ABOVE RADIANT MAGENTA, VIOLET, AND CRIMSON HUES. A CORONA OF GOLDEN TRESSES CASCADED DOWN HER BARE IVORY SHOULDERS AND SLENDER ARCHING BACK LIKE A FLOWING RIVER OF RICH HONEY.
"MY BELOVED FATE," SHE UTTERED PASSIONATELY, FLASHING A PERFECT SET OF PEARL-WHITE TEETH AT ME AS SHE BEAMED JOYOUSLY. "HOW STRONG AND GORGEOUS AND MANLY YOU ARE! I JUST FEEL SO SAFE IN YOUR ARMS." HER LOWER LIP QUIVERED PITEOUSLY, AND A SINGLE CRYSTALLINE TEAR FORMED IN HER JADE ORB. "JUST PROMISE YOU WON'T EVER LET ANYONE HURT ME."
"THERE, MY SWEET LITTLE ANGEL," I INTONED MELLIFLUOUSLY, FLEXING MY MAGNIFICENT PERFECTLY CHISELLED BICEPS OF STEEL. SHE SWOONED AND COLLAPSED DAINTILY TO HER DELICATE KNEES. "WITH THE POWER OF MY SUPERHUMAN MAFIA SKILLS, NO SCUMBAG SHALL EVER TOUCH YOU."
"MY HERO!" SHE CRIED GRATEFULLY.
KATSUKI LEANED IN AND EMBRACED ME, SMELLING OF PEACHES AND CREAM AND EXPENSIVE PERFUME. AS HER PINK LIPS TENDERLY GRAZED MY OWN, HER AMPLE BREASTS PRESSING AGAINST MY CHEST--
Fate paused and took a deep breath so as not to lose control of himself. After all, one-handed typing would be tricky with his left index finger perpetually on the shift key.
When Mafiascum Fantasy Camp had first gone into business, Fate had felt no inclination to sign up. There were few scummers he respected more than himself.
But after SpyreX had wisely decided that the opportunity to run around summer camp in a Fate costume wasn't worth being butchered in his sleep by psychotics, Reck had let Fate know about the opening in their hydra. Fate had been apathetic until he'd heard the other names on the roster.
Katsuki was there. Not the imposter Katsuki who'd stolen his heart under false pretenses and disillusioned him at Goofbash by being the wrong gender. A Katsuki
fan
--a blank slate. Now was Fate's chance to be with the Katsuki he'd dreamed of on those lonely nights, the innocent feminine cupcake to whom he'd professed his love in game threads. He could start their relationship anew.
Besides, vezokpiraka sounded like a female name. Surely Fate wouldn't be wrong twice.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he shrieked.
"Hey, what are you writing?" asked half of Yami-Swan (
no
, Fate corrected himself,
half of Ongoing Games now
), arm-in-arm with the other SocioPath fanboy. Although black masks concealed their faces, the masks had slipped off often enough this session for their true identities to be an open secret at camp. "You look really into it."
"Fuck off," said Fate, slamming the cover of his laptop shut.
"Why, is it a secret? Are you daytalking with your scumteam or something?"
The other Ongoing Game rolled his eyes. "Who cares? This is a Mina scene. I don't want to read her walls. I'm just going to skim this over and not notice that it contains the Fate/Katsuki fanfic that I've pleaded with her to write for months for reasons that in no way cast doubt upon my heterosexuality."
"I wish I had been around on Day One to policy-lynch you," said Fate. "Hey, did you see my little vezokcake anywhere?"
Katsuki burst into tears. "Why do you do this to me? You're killing me, Fate. I don't need to hear this. It's not my fault I was born male."
"It's okay," said Ellibereth, patting Katsuki on the shoulder. "He's not worth it. Just get over him. We're SocioPath, now. No one will ever mistake us for girls again."
Fate started to scrutinize them. "You know, creating a female persona on the Internet is a sign you're not quite in touch with reality. What have you two been up to at night? Murdering camp directors, maybe?"
"Oh, yeah?" said Katsuki. "You're the one who hit on someone you never met because he had a girly avatar."
Ellibereth gasped. "Of course! Why else would Screaming Death Clan recruit their idol into their slot, unless they took their Fate obsession a bit too far?"
"Did I hear a crossvote?" asked Regfan, who was nearby. "I agree with SDC; Yami-Swan is scum. If I'm wrong and they're town, then I vow to leave the site. Also, do you want to hear my thoughts on scumhunting? I've discovered all these tells from years of experience and..."
His monologue was cut short by vezokpiraka. "Hey, Fatey-poo!"
"vezokcake!" squealed Fate.
"Oh, look, it's vezokpiraka," said Mastermind of Sin. "I know I said Yami-Swan was town, but the case on Ongoing Games has suddenly become so persuasive that I think I'll place what will coincidentally be the L-1 vote on him. Hey, vezok. What do you think of Yami?"
vezok began fondling Fate.
"I said,
vezok, what did you think of Yami, who is at L-1?
"
"What did you say?" asked Fate, looking up, but then vezokpiraka slid a hand down his shorts, and all thoughts of Mastermind of Sin left his mind.
"I said,
wouldn't it be nice if someone popped to place the final vote on Yami-Swan
to quickhammer and win the game right now for the scum?
"
"Sorry, what?" mumbled GreyICE. "Oh, yeah, I agree. Yami-Swan is totally scum! CHESSKID!"
"Fatey-Poo," cooed vezok.
"vezokcake," Fate cooed back.
Mastermind let out a cry of disgust.
Then GreyICE had an idea. "Hey, town is screwed anyway. Maybe if I quickhammer Ongoing Games, the mods will retroactively make me a neutral survivor."
And so he hammered Ongoing Games, killing poor Katsuki and Ellibereth. An apt time for them to die, because this game is no longer ongoing...
'
