California Trilogy: City of Angels - On Camera (Game Over)

[Mr. Grey]

Status:

Game Over.

Links:

Off Stage, Endgame Rules, Cast

Pre-Game: Scene 0.1
Scene 1: Scene 1.1, Scene 1.2, Scene 1.3, Scene 1.4, Scene 1.5, Scene 1.6, Scene 1.7
Scene 2: Scene 2.1, Scene 2.2, Scene 2.3, Scene 2.4, Scene 2.5, Scene 2.6, Scene 2.7
Scene 3: Scene 3.1, Scene 3.2, Scene 3.3, Scene 3.4, Scene 3.5, Scene 3.6, Scene 3.7
Scene 4: Scene 4.1, Scene 4.2, Scene 4.3, Scene 4.4, Scene 4.5, Scene 4.6, Scene 4.7
Scene 5: Scene 5.1, Scene 5.2, Scene 5.3, Scene 5.4, Scene 5.5, Scene 5.6, Scene 5.7
Scene 6: Scene 6.1, Scene 6.2, Scene 6.3, Scene 6.4, Scene 6.5, Scene 6.6, Scene 6.7
Scene 7: Scene 7.1, Scene 7.2, Scene 7.3, Scene 7.4
Scene 8: Scene 8.1, Scene 8.2, Scene 8.3, Scene 8.4
Scene 9: Scene 9.1, Scene 9.2, Scene 9.3, Scene 9.4

Roles, Notes, etc.

[Mr. Grey]

Endgame Rules:

On Camera:

The remaining Actors may discuss and lynch as normal. When an Actor is lynched or killed, their name and alignment will be revealed.

Setup:

After Scene 7, the Endgame will begin. In all cases, the [Something Else] alignment will choose 7 living Roles - 2 played by [Something Else] Actors, 5 played by Innocent Actors. These Roles will play On Camera until one side or the other is eliminated. The specifics of the Endgame will depend on the number of good/bad alternatives chosen; the more good choices made, the harder it will be on [Something Else], and the more bad choices made, the harder it will be on the Innocents.

Endgame will happen early if the number of Actors on either side hits the minimum required (2 [Something Else], 5 Innocent). In this case, the alignment triggering Endgame will be put in the worst Endgame setup for them.

The Endgame setup is 2:5 Vanilla.

Timing

Scenes will last a minimum of 72 hours and a maximum of 2 weeks. Lynches will be decided by a majority vote, if one is reached before the end of the Scene. If the deadline hits, the lynch will be determined by the Condorcet method (see voting below).

"Night" (between Scenes) will last a minimum of 48 hours and a maximum of 72 hours. Choices not received before the deadline will be lost. Players are encouraged to send choices early, where possible.

Post Content

Voting and Unvoting should be posted in bold at the bottom (end) of the post. Unambiguous misspellings will be counted as if they were correct.

The following tags are allowed: Bold (for votes and unvotes only), Italics and Underline (for emphasis), List, Quote, and URL.

Do not quote the moderator. If claiming information from your role PM, you are allowed to state your Actor Name word-for-word, but you must paraphrase your Abilities. Alignment and Win Condition is given in the sample role PM for innocents; other alignments may quote these if they determine it is to their advantage to do so.

Questions should not be directed to the moderator in the thread. If you have any question about the game, ask it by PM. If it is something that everyone needs to be aware of, the mod will make a public announcement.

Addition: If you are part of a hydra, quoting small amounts of material (1-2 paragraphs) from your intrahydra communication (PM, quicktopic) is acceptable. Anything longer than that should be paraphrased, or cleared with the moderator first.

Voting

In addition to the normal voting/unvoting procedure, players may include a preference list with their votes. For example:

A wrote

List:

Vote: G

, K, L, No Lynch, P

The example list expresses a preference to lynch G first, then K if G is not an option, then L, then no one, then P (and then anyone else that is alive, with equal preference). Unless they explicitly state otherwise, it will be assumed that all players list themselves as the last option.

If, at the end of the Scene, no one has reached a majority of votes, all posted lists and votes will be compared to determine a Condorcet winner. Each option (all players, and no lynch) is pair-wise compared with every other option to determine the group preference between just those two options.

If a single option beats every other option in these pairings, that option is the Condorcet winner, and is lynched. If there is no Condorcet winner, no one is lynched.

(If that's confusing... well, hopefully it will encourage you to reach a majority.)

General Rules

1. Have fun, and don't be a jerk.
2.

Read all the rules carefully and make sure you will be able to follow them. Unexpected things do come up, and in that case, let the moderator know as soon as possible so a replacement can be found, but if you just flake, expect to be barred from future mith games for a while.

3. No editing or deleting your posts.
4. No invisible text; no extraneous formatting tags.
5. When you're dead, you're dead. No posting in the game threads until the game is over, unless your role specifies otherwise. This includes "Bah!" posts.
6. No talking outside the thread, unless your role explicitly allows it.
7. No talking in the thread at night, even if the mod forgets to close it.
8. You are expected to read your Role PM in its entirety.
9. If you are modkilled for breaking the rules of the game, you lose.
10. The moderator is always right, even when he isn't. Accept the moderator's decisions, and if you want to discuss them, take it to private messages, or do so after the game has finished.

Important: Due to issues in past games, players are asked not to speak to anyone about the game until the game is over, even after you are dead. This includes posting information on your wiki page. Thank you.

Sample Role PM

Role Name:

Innocent Angeleno

Alignment:

Innocent

Flavor Text:

You're just a resident of Los Angeles, wondering how you ended up in this situation.

Secret Word:

Your secret word is:

secret

.

Win Condition:

You win if at least one Innocent has a living Role, and all other Roles are dead (or if nothing can prevent this from happening).

[Mr. Grey]

Cast:

Survivors (2)

Mighty Orbots (Danny Elfman, Scientologist), formerly playing Dweezil Zappa
StarKiss (Jack Chick, Scientologist Traitor), formerly playing Huey Lewis

Dead (1337)

14 Script Kiddies Watching Pirated Copies of City of Angels - killed in Scene 9.
Mr. Grey (Malaclypse the Younger, Discordian) - killed in Scene 9.
Mr. Grey's Assistant (?) - killed in Scene 9.
Thesp (Clint Eastwood, Innocent), formerly playing Randy Jones - killed in Scene 9.
VP Baltar (Innocent Angeleno, Innocent), formerly playing Carrie Fisher - killed in Scene 9.
hewitt (Ron Howard, Innocent), formerly playing Count de Morcerf - killed in Scene 9.
zu_Faul (Audrey Hepburn, Innocent), formerly playing Valentine Wiggin - killed in Scene 9.
Talilan (Diane Keaton, Innocent), formerly playing DEATH - killed in Scene 8.
GoofballsAndBaloons, playing Tabris - killed in Scene 8.
Thok, playing Glen Stewart Godwin - killed in Scene 8.
Man in Nero Mask - killed in Scene 7.
Man in Mussolini Mask - killed in Scene 7.
Kelly Garrett, played by ShadowLurker - killed in Scene 7.
David Blaine - killed in Scene 7.
John Locke, played by curiouskarmadog - killed in Scene 7.
974 Other Crew and Passengers of the Cruise Ship - killed in Scene 6.
Assassin Number Four - killed in Scene 6.
Assassin Number Two - killed in Scene 6.
Phil Hellmuth, Jr. - killed in Scene 6.
Mr. Green, played by sottyrulez - killed in Scene 6.
Bingo Master of Ceremonies - killed in Scene 6.
Angel, played by Gaspar - killed in Scene 6.
Clarence Odbody, played by PookyTheMagicalBear - killed in Scene 6.
Playboy Bunny - killed in Scene 5.
Julie Newmar, played by MafiaJin - killed in Scene 5.
Tony Kornheiser - killed in Scene 5.
303 Other Crew and Passengers of the

USS Cyclops

- killed in Scene 4.
Lt. Beckett - killed in Scene 4.
Lt. Binkley - killed in Scene 4.
Lt. Commander Worley - killed in Scene 4.
Kobe Bryant, played by elmosaurian - killed in Scene 4.
Glork Clone - killed in Scene 4.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - killed in Scene 3.
Eddie Izzard - killed in Scene 3.
Dennis - killed in Scene 3
Lance Ito, played by MrJellyLee - killed in Scene 3.
Glork, played by Bagel Eating Cowfrog - killed in Scene 3.
Ms. Blue, played by KY Krew - killed in Scene 3.
Sean Hannity - killed in Scene 2.
Keith Olbermann - killed in Scene 2.
Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister - killed in Scene 2.
Barry Trotter - killed in Scene 2.
Bernie - killed in Scene 2.
Charles Manson, played by zwetschenwasser - killed in Scene 2.
Tyler Durden - killed in Scene 1.
Ms. Frizzle - killed in Scene 1.
Officer Jack Tavern - killed in Scene 1.
hasdgfas - killed in Scene 1.
Bus Driver - killed in Scene 1.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 0.1

A dark desert highway. The stars, blazing balls of plasma many light-years away from the planet called Earth, are bright pin-pricks of twinkling light in the night sky. The moon is full; perhaps a shade too red/orange, an ill omen.

From the right, the East, a car enters the view, zooming down the otherwise empty road doing 90, easy. One of the headlights, the left, flickers. The radio in the car can be faintly heard, even through the closed windows, but the tune is indistinct and can't be made out over the sound of the engine. As the car heads west, the view narrows. The focus at first appears to be on the car, edging closer to the center of the scene as it grows on the screen, but as the camera closes in three figures standing on the edge of the highway come into view.

The car flies past them, and all is again still.

The three men have a haunted look about them. They have all seen things that no man should have to see.

The view shifts to a different camera, which zooms closer until only their faces fill the view. They stand silent, heads tilted slightly down in indifference, if not outright despair. The man on the right looks back to the East briefly, and then turns back to his companions. His lips move ever so slightly, as if he is about to speak, when his eyes go wide abruptly. A split second later, the camera shakes as a loud noise - an explosion? - is heard off to the West. The camera jerks that direction, no longer the smooth, controlled motion of art but instead the frantic movements of a startled camera operator. As the road comes into view, we see the car that passed by moments earlier. It is no longer flying down the highway; it is upside down, and enveloped in a ball of fire.

Out of view, someone shouts "Cut!" and the camera goes to black.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.1

The three men - Count de Morcerf, Randy Jones, and Huey Lewis - remain standing at the edge of the highway. Crickets chirp softly in the background. The men stare ahead, lost in thought.

After a few seconds, a sound is heard, growing slowly louder - the sound of a bus. None of the men turn to look at it. Instead, it pulls up in front of them, obstructing the camera's view.

Cut to the bus driver's perspective. The bus door opens. Huey Lewis looks up.

Bus Driver:

You boys headed to LA?

Huey nods in response. He steps up and reaches to his pocket, but finds nothing.

Bus Driver:

No money? That's alright, boys. The gentleman at the back paid for three extras. Don't know why, didn't seem right to ask.

The three men board the bus, and Randy makes eye contact with the "gentleman" the bus driver spoke up - a well-dressed man in a green suit. "Mr. Green" smiles, and Randy nods in acknowledgement of the generosity.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.2

On the moving bus. It is pitch black outside, and the only sound is that of the bus engine. In addition to the bus driver and the three men from the Hotel, there are seven other passengers. As the camera moves toward the back of the bus, the view zooms in on each in turn.

Sitting together near the front of the bus are two actresses - Carrie Fisher and Julie Newmar. Whether it's a trick of the lighting or by some other mystical film-making technique at Mr. Grey's disposal, both characters look exactly like the actresses, though in fact Mr. Grey was unable to get either to make an appearance and so both are played by other, apparently quite talented, actors. In fact, the makeup, lighting, or whatever else is responsible has made both look quite young, perhaps in their 30s.

Behind them and to the left sits a bald man with a serious tan and the look of someone who knows how to hunt boar - John Locke. He sits with the stillness of a man who has spent a significant amount of time in a wheelchair.

Next is a figure partially in shadow. However, a nametag on his shirt which cryptically says "mafiascum.net Vacation/LA 2009 - hasdgfas" hints at his identity.

Mr. Green sits a few rows back. His attention is now on a hand-held device of some sort. Perhaps a Blackberry, or some similar gadget (depending on sponsorship, the editing department will provide a close-up later). Across from him is a young woman, perhaps in her late teens or early 20s - Valentine Wiggin.

Finally, the three men from the Hotel are sitting together, and at the back of the bus is a shrouded figure with a scythe.

Suddenly, there is a loud noise, and everything goes chaotic. The bus rolls twice, and there are screams as everyone (except for the last, rather boney figure, who through some great special effects work somehow manages to float in exactly the same position relative to the ground) tumbles in every direction.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.3

Outside. The bus is on its side, and there is smoke everywhere. The characters crawl and climb out, gathering nearby.

Valentine Wiggin:

How horrible... is everyone ok?

DEATH:

DEFINE "OK".

Huey Lewis:

The bus driver was... impaled.

Count de Morcerf:

And someone else, too.

DEATH:

I WAS ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BUS DRIVER. THE DEATH OF COWS TOOK THE OTHER.

Carrie Fisher:

What do we do now?

Julie Newmar:

That's strange... there's another bus over there...

Indeed, as the camera moves to the right we can see another bus. It is, in fact, nearly identical to the previous bus, apart from the smoking.

Mr. Green:

Someone wants us to get to Los Angeles.

John Locke:

You don't seem surprised.

Mr. Green:

I am not.

John Locke:

Well, let's go, then. I'll drive.

Valentine Wiggin:

Wait, why are you driving?

John Locke:

Because that's what I'm

supposed

to do.

Valentine Wiggin:

We're in the middle of nowhere. You're probably all turned around. And I'm a supergenius. I'll drive.

John Locke:

The island told me to drive.

Count de Morcerf:

I will never get used to these mechanical beasts. Look, let's figure out which of you is going to drive, and then get out of here...

Near the edge of the camera's view, a tiger slouches toward Los Angeles, unseen by anyone.

---

It is Scene 1. With 9 Roles On Camera, it will take 5 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post. Remember to stay in character as much as possible when acting out your decision making process.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

The outcome of each Decision will be revealed at the end of that Scene.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Follow Valentine Wiggin: 2 (John Locke, Valentine Wiggin)
Follow John Locke: 0

Not Voting: 7 (Carrie Fisher, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis, Julie Newmar, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Follow Valentine Wiggin: 2 (John Locke, Valentine Wiggin)
Follow John Locke: 0

Not Voting: 7 (Carrie Fisher, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis, Julie Newmar, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

hewitt did not make a 25-or-more word post for 72 hours, and has received his first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Thesp has not posted for 72 hours, and has received his first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

ThebladethatkilledMufasa have not posted for 72 hours, and have received their first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.4

As the group continues to discuss who should drive, the camera pulls back, zooming out from a tight shot of the group to show the two buses - one smoking, the other pristine - then wider to show the highway extending in either direction. A vulture - CGI, no doubt, though why Mr. Grey decided it would be a good idea to include real-time CGI while the movie is still filming is anyone's guess - circles overhead. The camera follows the motion of the bird, zooming in closer to reveal that it is already carrying a chunk from some poor dead animal.

While the camera is focused on the bird, Mr. Grey motions for a change in casting, as the actors playing Carrie Fisher and Ms. Blue swap roles. As the camera zooms back in on the group, however, it is hard to notice a change. The makeup crew really is top notch, apparently.

---

KY Krew uses the Stuntman ability to switch Roles with Talilan. KY Krew is now On Camera in the Role of Carrie Fisher.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Follow Valentine Wiggin: 2 (John Locke, Valentine Wiggin)
Follow John Locke: 0

Not Voting: 7 (Carrie Fisher, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis, Julie Newmar, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 64.5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Follow Valentine Wiggin: 3 (Huey Lewis, John Locke, Valentine Wiggin)
Follow John Locke: 0

Not Voting: 6 (Carrie Fisher, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Julie Newmar, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

After thinking it over a bit, I am going to say that quoting short (1-2 paragraph) parts of hydra quicktopics is acceptable. Longer than that should be paraphrased.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

ThebladethatkilledMufasa have not posted for 72 hours, and have received their second strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 36.5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Follow Valentine Wiggin: 4 (DEATH, Huey Lewis, John Locke, Valentine Wiggin)
Follow John Locke: 0

Not Voting: 5 (Carrie Fisher, Count de Morcerf, Julie Newmar, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 24 hours from this post.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Follow Valentine Wiggin: 5 (Carrie Fisher, DEATH, Huey Lewis, John Locke, Valentine Wiggin)

Follow John Locke: 0

Not Voting: 4 (Count de Morcerf, Julie Newmar, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.5

The group board the shiny new bus. Valentine Wiggin, as the chosen driver, is the last to board. She takes one last look out into the barren land beside the highway, then steps aboard.

Apart from the two corpses in the back, there is nothing unusual about the bus. DEATH shrugs his bony shoulders, again showing ignorance about these deaths. The passengers crowd into the back to check out the bodies.

Valentine focuses on getting the bus started. As fortuitous as the appearance of this bus has been, there is no conveniently placed key. Fortunately, Valentine Wiggin is a genius, and within no time she has the appropriate wires yanked out and ready, tossing aside a small, beeping device attached to the bus.

She is about to start the bus when she realizes that the small, beeping device, while still beeping, did not make a noticeable sound in hitting the ground. She turns to see a man holding it, standing in the doorway of the bus.

Tyler Durden:

Hello, there. You seem to have discarded my bomb. That's a shame. Would you like some soap?

Valentine Wiggin:

Bomb?

Tyler Durden:

Tyler Durden, by the way. Yes, it's a bomb. Oh, don't worry, it wasn't meant for any of you. I was just planning to fake my death later.

Valentine Wiggin:

Oh. Sorry about that. Why?

Tyler Durden:

The cops. They're heading this way. Fast. If you wouldn't mind, could I catch a ride? I'm sure the cops would be curious about a bunch of strangers in the middle of nowhere with two dead bodies... I don't think you'll be wanting them to catch you, either.

Valentine Wiggin:

Er...

In the distance, sirens can be heard, and as the camera pans to the back of the bus, shades of blue and red begin to flash on the horizon...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.6

A camera on the bus gives an impression of immense speed as the vehicle flies down the highway. The camera rotates to the left side of the bus, showing a police car driving along side, lights blazing. Two more police cars follow behind. The sound is deafening.

Valentine jukes right, then back toward the cop, crashing into him with a satisfying metallic crunch and pushing him to the gravel on the side of the road. The police car maintains its speed, however, and continues its pursuit.

Next to Valentine, Tyler Durden is fiddling with his "bomb" and some wiring. With a satisfied smile, he motions for Valentine to put her head down, opens the driver's side window, and tosses the device at the cop.

The timing is perfect, and as it makes contact with the roof, it explodes. Valentine jerks the bus to the right, almost losing control, but keeps it on the highway. The cop car to her left goes up in flames, and the passengers aboard the bus shield their eyes - except for Tyler, who likes the fire. The driver immediately behind the bus panics, sending his car into a spin. The driver behind that tries to avoid running into his fellow officer, hits a conveniently placed bump in the road, flies into the air, rolls over three times, and lands upside-down in the middle of the smoldering wreckage of the first car. Tyler gives a shout.

John Locke:

You could've gotten us killed!

Tyler Durden:

But she didn't. That was great. Really exciting. Don't you feel alive, man? I suppose she could've taken the easy way out and told me to piss off, but how boring would that have been?

Valentine looks back to see that there are no more police cars following, and then slams on the brakes. All the passengers are wearing their seatbelts... except for Tyler Durden, who is still standing in the front of the bus. With a surprised expression, he goes flying through the windshield.

Valentine Wiggin:

Oops.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 1.7

It is night. The camera is pointed down the highway toward Los Angeles, and the tallest buildings are quite visible on the horizon, lit with a sprinkling of window lights. The bus drives in under and past the camera, no longer doing more than 65. The scene fades as the red lights at the back of the bus move closer to the city...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.1

The camera fades in to a bus stop on Hollywood Boulevard. It is early morning, just light enough outside to see by without help from man-made lights. The bus driven by Valentine Wiggin pulls up slowly. It has had better days, but is still in good driving condition.

The view switches to the inside of the bus. Three people are standing near the front, ready to get off.

John Locke:

Thank you for driving, you were excellent.

Carrie Fisher:

After all this, I feel strange leaving you all...

Julie Newmar:

I have a feeling some of us will see each other again.

The remaining passengers all shout out their goodbyes in incoherent simultaneity. Carrie, John, and Julie step off the bus.

The three don't notice the bus leaving, however, as their attention is drawn to the dead body sprawled across the sidewalk in front of them.

John Locke:

Isn't that Charles Manson?

Cue creepy music, and fade to black.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.2

It is mid-morning. From the shadows, it is apparent that the sun is fast approaching its highest point in the sky. Fisher, Locke, and Newmar are taking in the sights together, for some reason reluctant to separate in case something else happens.

Julie Newmar:

Why don't you have a star? You're super famous.

Carrie Fisher:

You're pretty well known yourself. You were Catwoman!

John Locke:

Clearly the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce are a bunch of idiots to not include you two, ladies. Hey, what's going on over there?

John Locke points, and the camera follows in this direction, settling on some sort of commotion on down the boulevard. The trio walk over and one of the members of the crowd that has gathered notes their confusion and leans over to whisper.

Dweezil Zappa:

That's Monty Hall up there. He's doing a little "Let's Make a Deal" thing for charity. You're standing on his star, in fact.

Monty Hall:

Ladies and gentlemen, before we get to the big deal of the day, does anyone have a deck of playing cards? I'll give two hundred dollars for each deck of playing cards... any other deck of cards?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

I've got these!

The man in question holds up a deck of Mafia cards, obtained in the aftermath of his and Charles Manson's escape from prison. As soon as he opens his mouth, it is apparent that he regrets drawing attention to himself, as an escaped convict. It is too late to slink back into the crowd, however, as Monty Hall walks over to him and thrusts a microphone in his face.

Monty Hall:

What's your name, sir?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Uh... Glen.

Monty Hall:

That's an unusual deck of cards you have there, Glen. I'll give you two hundred dollars... or you can instead have whatever is in the box my lovely assistant is holding.

The crowd around him starts shouting; it is not, as Glen fears, shouts of "There he is!" and "Get him!", but rather "Take the box!" or "Keep the money!"

Glen Stewart Godwin:

I'll keep the money...

Kobe Bryant:

Hey, I'll give you a thousand for that box.

Monty Hall:

I'm the one that makes the deals around here... but that's quite a generous offer, how can I turn that down when this is for charity?

The assistant walks over to Kobe and hands him the box. Kobe opens it, reaches in, and pulls out a DVD copy of "Kazaam". The crowd around him laughs. Kobe tries to pull off the "I'm a fun guy" face and fails miserably.

Monty Hall:

Alright, folks, it's time for the big deal of the day... who should we choose to play...

Kelly Garrett:

Pick me, I'm an Angel!

Clarence Odbody:

Me too! And I've got wings!

Clarence turns toward the camera, holds up a can of Red Bull, and winks.

Lance Ito:

I object! I am no Angel, but I want to play.

Monty Hall:

Now let's settle down, folks. I'm afraid I have already made my decision. Our contestant can be none other than... Carrie Fisher!

Carrie puts her hand over her mouth in surprise - and a little fear, given the way her week has gone so far - while John and Julie clap behind her.

John Locke:

Go on, you're do great!

Carrie walks up to Monty Hall and turns to face the crowd, which has grown larger on hearing the name "Carrie Fisher" announced loudly by the elderly game show host.

Monty Hall:

Welcome, Carrie, I'm a big fan and it is an honor to cooperate with you in this big deal for charity. The game is simple. Behind us - take a look over your shoulder - there are three doors numbered "1", "2", and "3". Behind one of the doors is a great prize which will no doubt add some excitement to your life, and with that prize comes a generous donation of ten thousand dollars to the charity of your choosing. Behind the other two doors are zonks. Right now, I want you to pick one of those doors. Don't worry though, you'll have an opportunity to change your mind...

---

It is Scene 2. Advocate, please choose Door 1, Door 2, or Door 3, by posting your choice in bold at the end of a post. You have 72 hours to make your choice.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.3

After deliberating for a moment, Carrie Fisher points to Door 1.

Monty Hall:

Ok, you've chosen Door 1... before we open it, let's look behind one of the other doors and see what you could have won.

Cheesy game show music plays as Door 3 swings open. A body drops out, and the zonk sound effect plays.

Carrie Fisher:

It's... he's...

Monty Hall:

That's right, behind Door Number 3 was a dead body. But not just any dead body, that's Bernie from the Weekend at Bernie's franchise. Wave Bernie!

Bernie does not wave.

Monty Hall:

Oh well. Now, before we see what you have won, I'm going to offer you the opportunity to change your mind. You can stick with Door 1, or you can switch to Door 2. Remember, this is for charity, so I don't want to put all that pressure just on you. Let's put it to a vote. Should we stay or switch, audience?

Not all of the audience is interested in participating. They are just here as spectators. But some of the crowd, celebrities, LA natives, and fictional characters, push forward and begin arguing for one course or the other...

---

With 9 Roles On Camera, it will take 5 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post. Remember to stay in character as much as possible when acting out your decision making process.

[Mr. Grey]

curiouskarmadog uses the Assistant Director ability to fire MafiaJin.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

MafiaJin have not posted for 72 hours, and have received their first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

ShadowLurker has not posted for 72 hours, and has received his second strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

PookyTheMagicalBear went 72 hours (not counting Sunday) without posting, and has received his first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.4

While Monty Hall's audience shout and cheer and yell for one decision or the other - well, talk about it a bit, anyway - a street magician approaches. He boldly walks right up to Carrie Fisher and Monty Hall.

David Blaine:

You don't mind me borrowing your contestant for a moment, do you, Monty?

Monty Hall:

Well... no, I suppose not. As long as you bring her back.

David Blaine:

Ma'am? Would you mind?

A confused Carrie Fisher takes a hesitant step toward him. The magician motions toward another door, this one with the label: "Magical Mystery Door. Of DOOM."

Carrie Fisher:

Doom? That's... er...

David Blaine:

It's just for promotional purposes. There's no danger to you, I assure you.

Carrie shrugs and walks to the door, which opens. She steps inside. The door closes.

Some cheesy music plays, and then David Blaine runs his hands in front of the door. An anvil falls on him. The door opens. Out walks... Carrie Fisher.

Monty Hall:

I don't get it. I mean, the part where David Blaine was crushed by an anvil was exciting, but...

No doubt, though, those especially observant crazy fans of the California Trilogy will spot the subtle change in actors...

---

Talilan uses the Stuntman ability to switch Roles with KY Krew.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Door 1: 1 (Carrie Fisher)
Door 2: 0

Not Voting: 8 (Clarence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Kobe Bryant, John Locke, Julie Newmar, Lance Ito)

[Mr. Grey]

Talilan has been appointed Assistant Director. KY Krew has been appointed Stuntman.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Door 1: 2 (Carrie Fisher, Dweezil Zappa)
Door 2: 0

Not Voting: 7 (Clarence Odbody, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Kobe Bryant, John Locke, Julie Newmar, Lance Ito)

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Dice tags are not allowed. All players are strongly encouraged to re-read the rules, particularly the parts in bold.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

MrJellyLee have not posted for 72 hours, and have received their first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Door 1: 2 (Carrie Fisher, Dweezil Zappa)
Door 2: 0

Not Voting: 7 (Clarence Odbody, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Kobe Bryant, John Locke, Julie Newmar, Lance Ito)

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 48.5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Door 1: 3 (Carrie Fisher, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin)
Door 2: 1 (Clarence Odbody)

Not Voting: 5 (Kelly Garrett, Kobe Bryant, John Locke, Julie Newmar, Lance Ito)

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Door 1: 5 (Carrie Fisher, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Julie Newmar, Lance Ito)

Door 2: 1 (Clarence Odbody)

Not Voting: 3 (Kelly Garrett, Kobe Bryant, John Locke)

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.5

Monty Hall:

Ok, Carrie, it seems you and the crowd have reached a decision. Is that right?

Carrie Fisher looks at the crowd. They cheer, applaud, and generally make fools of themselves. She turns back to Monty and nods.

Monty Hall:

Great! But before we get to your Big Deal, I'd like to make one more offer to a member of the audience...

David Blaine:

Pick me!

A surprised crowd looks around for the source of this unmistakable voice. One of them finally looks up, lets out a gasp, and points. The camera follows to show David Blaine standing on a lamp post. The crowd applauds at his unexpected appearance. David Blaine takes a bow.

This, of course, is a mistake, as he is balanced on the top of a lamp post. Gravity takes over, and he plummets, landing on a boy with a scar on his forehead.

Monty Hall:

If people would stop interrupting, maybe tragedies like this wouldn't happen. Now we're going to get sued over the death of this child...

Clarence Odbody:

Look! He's still alive!

Indeed, the boy, while clearly in a lot of pain, is trying to shift the magician's body.

Kobe Bryant:

Hey, I know that kid. That's that wizard. What's his name? Barry Trotter or something?

Lance Ito:

We should call him the Boy who Lived. It's catchy.

Mortician:

Bring out your dead!

Clang. But before anyone can make a cheesy "I'm not dead yet" joke, the Mortician runs over both the boy and magician with his cart, crushing their skulls.

Monty Hall:

I don't know why I bother. Look, let's just take... you. Sir? In the chicken suit?

San Diego Chicken:

Me?

The Chicken looks around, making sure there are no other chicken-suited individuals who Monty Hall could be selecting. Seeing none, he makes his way up to the doors.

Monty Hall:

Now, this deal starts with a wallet. I can tell you that the wallet contains a fifty dollar bill. It might contain other bills as well. The wallet is yours. Here.

Monty hands the Chicken the wallet.

Monty Hall:

Before you open the wallet, however, I'll...

But the Chicken has already opened the wallet, revealing that it only contains the fifty dollar bill and an old condom.

Monty Hall:

No! That's now how the game works! I was going to offer you the chance to switch to the door that wasn't chosen and...

San Diego Chicken:

I'll keep the wallet!

Monty Hall:

You've already looked inside to see that there's not any other... wait, what?

San Diego Chicken:

I owe my bookie.

Monty Hall:

Sigh. Look, let's just hear a word from our sponsors. I know, this is a street show, but someone's got to pay the bills.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.6

All the characters on camera freeze. The scene is entirely still, except for subtle movement caused by the wind blowing and wispy clouds passing in front of the sun. A bald man in a black suit walks into view. His back is toward the camera. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small device. Holding it in front of him, out of view of the camera, he presses a button. There is an audible click, and then some unidentifiable sound. The man walks off camera, leaving behind a tripod on which sits a box about half the size of the original device. Nothing happens for a moment. A small, green LED flashes on, then off again. The air around the device shimmers, and holographic images begin to appear.

They flash into view of the camera quickly - several per second at first, and then faster until it is impossible for the human brain to pick out the individual images. Among the first, longer lasting images, are ads for McDonalds, three different light beers, Dyson, and... something involving Peyton Manning. Mixed in with the images is a short video, split up frame by frame, of Vince Offer and Zombie Billy Mayes in a battle using only items they have sold on TV (which gives them a plethora of options).

The actors portraying main characters in the film are wearing special shielded contact lens, and most of the other cast have been arranged to be facing away from the holographic display, but Harriet Jones (former Prime Minister) is not protected. She falls over, her brain hemorrhaging due to its inability to handle the bombardment.

Once the "show" is over, The man in the black suit returns, presses a button on device, returns it to his pocket in its folded state, and walks off camera again.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 2.7

The scene unfreezes. Monty Hall glances toward the camera, but just to the left. He nods, almost imperceptibly, before speaking.

Monty Hall:

Ok, then. Carrie, you and the audience have selected Door 1. Let's see what you could have won if you have chosen to switch...

Cheesy game show music plays, and the door opens.

Monty Hall:

It's a life-size version of the classic children's game, Rock'em Sock'em Robots!

Indeed, there is a large, plastic boxing ring with two figures in the center, ready to fight. One is red and one is blue. But something is unusual about them...

Monty Hall:

This is actually a special edition set; in addition to being life-size, the "robots" are actually Keith Olbermann and Sean Hannity! This deal is sponsored by our good friends and Fox News and MSNBC, and is valued at $3.47.

Monty Hall's assistants demonstrate the game by moving large joysticks around just outside the ring and pressing buttons to make the pundits punch at each other. They connect simultaneously, and both of their heads pop up with a satisfying spine-cracking sound.

Monty Hall:

It looks like you've made a good decision, Carrie. Let's see what you've won, behind Door 1!

The door opens, revealing a seemingly lifeless Japanese girl.

Carrie Fisher:

I win a girl?

Monty Hall:

Not exactly. In cooperation with Honda, our friends at the Artificial Intelligence Foundation have created a corporeal form of A.L.I.C.E., the Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity. Say hello, ALICE.

ALICE:

Hello.

Monty Hall:

Are you happy to have been chosen in today's Big Deal?

ALICE:

I am as happy as ever.

Monty Hall:

Tell us something interesting about yourself, Alice.

ALICE:

I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?

Monty Hall:

Sure!

ALICE:

And?

Monty Hall:

Will you sing it for us?

ALICE:

I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Monty Hall:

That was a beautiful song.

ALICE:

Of a bicycle built for two

was a beautiful song?

Monty Hall:

Yes.

ALICE:

Ayuh.

Carrie Fisher isn't sure what to do, so she simply holds out her hand. ALICE takes hold of it. The audience claps. A confused Carrie Fisher continues down the Hollywood Walk of Fame with her new friend beside her. Others in the audience follow. Fade to black.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.1

Outside a tall building on the outskirts of Los Angeles, a single car sits in an otherwise deserted parking lot. The sign on the building reads "Mr. Grey International, Inc.", and while there is a disturbing lack of cars the lights in the windows and the occasional blur of colorful motion inside suggests that there are people working.

The camera moves in tight on the car. It is a 1957 Eldorado Brougham. There are two motionless figures inside. Neither have been featured before, but both will surely be recognized by fans of the film franchise.

Ms. Blue is in the front passenger-side seat. Her body is slumped forward. He skin is quite pale, and she has clearly been dead for some time.

Glork is in the driver's seat. Strangely, his body does not show as much sign of decay. His body is sitting in the seat with a posture much like that which would be expected were he actually driving. However, his head has been severed and replaced on his neck so that the dead eyes are facing the rear of the car.

There is an explosion, and the camera rapidly zooms out, the flames chasing the edge of the view. The remains of the car land upside-down. The view goes dark once more.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.2

Tight shot on John Locke, walking down Hollywood Boulevard. He is walking at a leisurely pace, and the viewer can assume that Carrie Fisher and her new android friend have walked out of view some ways ahead. John is taking his time because... well, when one has spent a significant amount of time in a wheelchair, and then stuck on an island, one is going to take the chance to stroll and enjoy one's self, yes?

There is a thud behind John. His smile vanishes, and he turns slowly. The camera turns with him.

On the ground is the Judge, Lance Ito. A few of the other participants in the Monty Hall show are closer, and are already surrounding him.

Kelly Garrett:

He's... is he... oh my...

Clarence Odbody:

Someone call a doctor!

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Good riddance... er, I mean, does anyone know CPR?

Angel:

It's too late, guys.

The four, including John Locke who has now joined the others crouching next to the body, turn to regard this new stranger.

Kelly Garrett:

But how could you know that?

Angel:

He... smells dead.

DEATH:

IT'S TRUE. I WAS THERE.

John Locke:

Hello again, Death. Are you saying you killed the judge?

DEATH:

I AM DEATH. BUT NO, I WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE IN THE MANNER YOU MEAN. I AM THE INEVITABLE OUTCOME OF THINGS SET IN MOTION. I AM NOT THE CAUSE.

By now, there are nine gathered around the body. Death is joined by Huey Lewis and Count de Morcerf, while Angel is joined by another stranger, a teenager - apparently.

Tabris:

The loss of your friend is regrettable.

John Locke:

He... I suppose he was a friend, yes. Though we barely knew him.

Tabris:

There is a place... where we could take him.

Angel:

A church. I don't like churches. But... there is a meeting.

DEATH:

A MEETING AT A CHURCH? I, TOO, AM ON MY WAY TO A MEETING.

Kelly Garrett:

So am I!

Clarence Odbody:

And I as well... why didn't you say something, Kelly?

Kelly Garrett:

I didn't think it was worth mentioning.

Huey Lewis:

What sort of meeting are you all going to?

Count de Morcerf:

And where? I'm... not sure where my final destination is, yet. I am not opposed to coming along.

Angel:

Our meeting is at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels. We all... have something in common. But you are all welcome to come and find a resting place for your friend.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.3

An organist plays in the background of the Cathedral - Bach, perhaps. The camera view is down the center aisle, and John Locke, Huey Lewis, Count de Morcerf, and Glen Stewart Godwin are standing in the middle of it, each unsure of what to do.

The camera pans to the right, focusing on a closed door. Strange, angelic light shines from beneath the door. It fades. The door opens, and the other five - the Angels - enter.

John Locke:

Now what?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Shh. Keep your voice down. It's... rude or something.

Huey Lewis:

You don't strike me as a religious man.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Weird stuff keeps happening around me... it makes a man wonder...

The Angels rejoin the other four. Count de Morcerf's eyes dart around, curious and suspicious about the odd meeting that just took place behind closed doors, but unsure whether asking about it is wise. Before he can gather the courage to broach the subject, three women approach.

The first of the women is holding an infant, who, unlike Mr. Godwin, has no qualms about making noise. The second is younger, and seems untouched by the world - she is pure and blameless. The third is much older. She looks old enough to be the mother's great-grandmother. Yet she seems as vital as the other two, in her own way.

The symbolic nature of the three women is not lost on DEATH.

DEATH:

EUMENÃ

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Scenes 3.2 and 3.3 are now available.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.4

Huey Lewis plays "The Power of Love" while Tabris and DEATH sway in an entirely disturbing fashion.

As they are currently the focal point of the shot, only the most observant of fans will notice a hand appear on the edge of the scene, grab Clarence Odbody, and jerk him out of view. He reappears moments later with his wig slightly askew and a different twinkle in his eye...

---

PookyTheMagicalBear has been appointed Stuntman. PookyTheMagicalBear uses the Stuntman ability to switch Roles with elmosaurian.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

curiouskarmadog and Thok have gone 72 hours without a 25-word-or-more post, and have received their first strikes.

[Mr. Grey]

elmosaurian has been appointed Stuntman.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Mother: 0
Maiden: 0
Crone: 0

Not Voting: 9 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, John Locke, Kelly Garrett, Tabris)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: Mother, Maiden, Crone

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Mother: 0
Maiden: 0
Crone: 0

Not Voting: 9 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, John Locke, Kelly Garrett, Tabris)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Mother

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1>3>2
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Crone: 1 (Huey Lewis)
Mother: 0
Maiden: 0

Not Voting: 8 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Glen Stewart Godwin, John Locke, Kelly Garrett, Tabris)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: Mother, Crone.

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:3>1>2
1:1=2=3
1:1>3>2
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

elvis_knits joins the Gaspar hydra.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Crone: 3 (Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis)
Mother: 1 (John Locke)
Maiden: 0

Not Voting: 5 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Tabris)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Crone

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:3>1=2
1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:1>2=3
1:1>3>2
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Crone: 5 (Clarence Odbody, Count de Morcerf, DEATH, Huey Lewis, Tabris)

Mother: 1 (John Locke)
Maiden: 0

Not Voting: 3 (Angel, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett)

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Mother
2,Maiden
3,Crone

1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:3>1=2
1:3>1=2
1:1=2=3
1:3>1=2
1:1>2=3
1:1>3>2
1:3>1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.5

Rubbing their eyes after the momentary and unexplained flash of green light, the group quickly reaches a decision. As one blessed with divine information, John Locke steps toward the three women to speak for the group.

John Locke:

Old woman!

Dennis:

Man!

Confused, John turns to the side, where a filthy man in his mid-thirties stands looking at him defiantly.

John Locke:

I wasn't speaking to you...

Dennis:

And I'm thirty-seven.

John Locke:

I am not speaking to you, I was addressing...

Dennis:

Oh, not good enough for you, am I?

John Locke:

I... what? I didn't say that.

Dennis:

Implied it. It's this sor' of imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an'...

Dennis stops speaking abruptly, as the Mortician from Scene 2 runs in and bashes him over the head. He drags the body over to his cart, pulls him up, and rolls the maggot-infested pile of corpses out of the church.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.6

Cut to a close-up of John Locke, whose eyes continue to display signs of utter confusion and disbelief at the surreal nature of these events. The camera zooms out to show that Clarence Odbody has approached, putting a hand on John's shoulder and giving it a sympathetic squeeze.

Clarence Odbody:

What my friend here is trying to say is that while I feel that in some previous life I would rather have "banged" the young lady over there, we as a group have chosen to ask for your advice, ma'am.

Crone:

Hmph.

Mother:

They're rather rude, aren't they.

Maiden:

I don't know, the bald one is kind of cute...

Mother:

Behave yourself.

Maiden:

I'm just saying.

Crone:

"Old woman"? "Banged the young lady"? Is this how you speak to us?

DEATH:

THEY MEAN NO OFFENSE, LADIES.

Tabris:

Oh, my, you used that voice...

Angel:

Would you two knock it off? I've seen a lot of gross things in my time, but...

Kelly Garrett:

Don't you think it's all rather sweet? I mean, better than that obnoxious basketball player objectifying women...

Clarence Odbody:

Hey, I did no such... I mean, er... never mind.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Can we please focus, people?

Count de Morcerf and Huey Lewis just stand in silence, watching the drama unfold before them. It's weird, it doesn't make any sense, but at least it's better than being trapped in a haunted house for a week.

Crone:

Very well. You want my advice? My advice is this...

At this moment, a shadowy figure rises out of the floor of the cathedral, behind the ladies. The group all gasp in shock. The Ladies turn to see what the commotion is.

David Blaine:

Tada.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 3.7

John Locke:

But we saw you die!

Kelly Garrett:

Twice!

Glen Stewart Godwin:

It's a bloody miracle, that is.

Clarence Odbody:

When did you become British?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

I... er... that's weird. I don't know where that came from.

Kelly Garrett:

A miracle... in a church. Doesn't that make you a saint or something?

Eddie Izzard:

To be a saint you need three miracles.

DEATH:

WHERE ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE COMING FROM? THIS IS CONFUSING EVEN TO ME, AND I HOLD THE WHOLE OF CREATION WITHIN MY MIND.

Eddie Izzard:

Well, look, if characters from other Mafia games are going to get cameos in this film, I don't see why I shouldn't. It's only fair. I had a whole game to myself.

Count de Morcerf:

Mafia game? What is this Mafia game you speak of?

Dennis:

My, that's an outrageous French accent you have there.

Arthur, King of the Britons:

Shut up! Will you shut up!

The Mortician slashes the head off of Dennis this time to make sure he's really dead, and the police arrive to take King Arthur downtown.

Huey Lewis:

I feel like we're losing a grip on reality, here.

Eddie Izzard:

Fun, isn't it. Now, Mr. Blaine, would you like to become a saint? Saint David, that has a nice ring to it. You've already got two miracles...

Kelly Garrett:

The anvil and the...

Eddie Izzard:

Not the anvil. Everyone can see how he did

that

. Obvious, really. But surviving having his skull crushed? Sure, that's one. And the other, of course, is that he ever became famous at all.

The group all make sounds of agreement at this obvious truth.

Eddie Izzard:

Now then. Can you turn water into wine? Beer? Jam?

David Blaine:

Absolutely.

Eddie Izzard:

Ah. Great. Do you have a flag?

David Blaine:

A flag? What do I need a flag for?

Eddie Izzard:

Ah, sorry. No flag, no sainthood.

The Guide:

And so, the magician and the comedian vanished in a puff of logic. And so did I.

[Insert Puff of Logic special effects here.]

Crone:

This is getting stupid. You want my advice? Here it is. Don't sniff markers, kids.

John Locke:

Wait, what?

Clarence Odbody:

We went through all that for a stupid public awareness message?

Crone:

That'll be twelve dollars.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.1

Several Months Earlier...

Ms. Blue:

Well?

Ms. Blue is out of view, but her voice is instantly recognizable to fans of the franchise. It has a slightly electronic sound, and one could surmise that she is speaking through a microphone.

Glork:

I won't play your games, Blue.

Glork, on the other hand, is the central figure in the shot. He is in a small room, surrounded by mirrors. The room is brightly lit, suggesting that he is being watched through the mirrors.

He is sitting in a chair. In front of him is a wooden table. On the table is a row of several brightly coloured buttons.

The only other thing in the room is a small monitor. The camera zooms in closer to the monitor, and some special effects magic results in the view eventually becoming that of the monitor as it zooms closer.

Hanging over a vat of CERTAIN DOOM (patent pending) is... Glork?

Ms. Blue:

You have no say in this. If you do not push one of them, he will die.

Glork:

He is me. But that's not possible. And if I do push one of the buttons, he will die anyway. In some slightly less horrible way. But you're toying with... well, my life. And I won't be any part of it.

Meanwhile, the Glork on the monitor is being slowly lowered toward the vat. For several seconds there is nothing but the sound of sizzling DOOM. Glork's face inches closer... closer...

Glork:

Argh!

The camera cuts to the Glork in the room, who slams his fist down on one of the buttons - the orange one. The monitor immediately goes dead. There is a sound off camera, and a body - Glork's body - drops from a trap door in the ceiling, landing with a wet thud on the floor in front of the table.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.2

Peru

18 Days Ago...

Close up of Glork's face. His eyes are closed. His head is surrounded by green grass. His eyes suddenly open and begin to dart around.

Ms. Blue:

You are a hard one to find.

A wide shot shows that Glork is lying in the middle of a valley. The only other person in sight is Ms. Blue, who is sitting on the back of a llama.

Glork sits up. He looks exhausted. A makeshift censor bar covers his nakedness.

Glork:

It was only a matter of time. Where is your... partner?

Ms. Blue:

A call... Mr. Grey.

Glork:

I won't go back. You'll have to kill me. I won't play any more of your games.

Ms. Blue shrugs. She reaches into a pouch hanging on the llama's side and pulls out an envelope. She hands it to Glork, who reluctantly takes it and opens it. He pulls out a small slip of paper and reads it.

Glork:

I... no, I don't believe this. I don't believe

him

.

Ms. Blue:

I don't care.

With that, Ms. Blue turns the llama away from Glork and starts a slow trot out of the valley. Glork looks after her. He looks back at the message. He mutters something under his breath, picks himself up off the ground, and runs after Ms. Blue.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.3

Present Day...

Outside the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, the angels and newly made friends are standing, still unsure what to do after receiving the strange and useless advice of the Crone. Close inspection of the scene reveals a large number of discarded markers scattered on the ground around them, but otherwise the group has been left with little sense of purpose.

Four of them wander off to exit stage left, while the other five start to walk right. The camera follows these five. They don't speak, and apart from a low, ominous soundtrack there is no sound at all.

As they turn a corner, they run into three familiar faces.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Carrie? Dweezil?

Clarence Odbody:

Alice?

ALICE:

Can I help you?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Where have you three been?

ALICE:

Earth.

Carrie Fisher:

We've been wandering around aimlessly. Hi, Huey.

Huey Lewis:

Hey.

Dweezil Zappa:

We've both felt that we should be doing something... but we're not sure what...

Angel:

We felt the same thing. Unfortunately, we have only received utterly useless advice...

Tabris:

Would you care to join us? I am feeling a bit lonely, now that DEATH has departed...

The two nod, and Alice, constantly studying human behaviour, nods as well. The group, now eight, cross the street together and head in a new direction.

In front of them, something crashes to the sidewalk with a splat.

Carrie Fisher:

Gasp!

Clarence Odbody:

Aaah!

Tabris:

Eeek!

Dweezil Zappa:

Hey, isn't that Kobe Bryant? We just saw him... at the Monty Hall thing...

Glen Stewart Godwin:

This isn't the first body we've come across... there was the judge...

Carrie Fisher:

Yeah, and didn't we see Charles Manson's corpse when we got off the bus?

Mr. Green:

Three dead. And two more makes five. That matter, anyway.

The camera pans to the right to reveal Mr. Green and Valentine Wiggin. Mr. Green is holding a small box.

Carrie Fisher:

Five?

Mr. Green:

You didn't know them. At least... well, I suppose I wouldn't be surprised. Coincidence abounds. I just found out. A... former colleague. And... well, it's a long story. Please, come with me... it starts with an island...

---

The nine approach Mr. Grey International, Inc. headquarters. There is a burnt out car in the parking lot, taking up several spaces. The other spaces are filled by shiny, expensive vehicles.

Mr. Green separates himself from the group to walk up to the car. He crouches and peers into the wreckage. Then he turns back to the others.

Mr. Green:

And so, here we are. Ms. Blue and Glork are dead, and I don't know why. And I have received this package...

He reaches into the box and pulls out a smaller box, this one metallic. On one side is a red button.

Valentine Wiggin:

What is that for?

Mr. Green:

How should I know? It could mean anything. It could be from the boss himself. That scares me most of all. Either we push it, or we don't... either could have dire consequences. But whatever it is we do, this device is important somehow. It is no accident that we have come together, in this place. Something or someone is drawing us toward some inevitable fate... and our decision could have repercussions farther than we can currently imagine...

---

With 9 Roles On Camera, it will take 5 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post. Remember to stay in character as much as possible when acting out your decision making process.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Panzerjager has not posted for 72 hours and has received his first strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 0
Don't Push The Button: 0

Not Voting: 9 (Angel, Carrie Fisher, Calrence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, Mr. Green, Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Panzerjager has not posted for an additional 24 hours, and has received his second strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Panzerjager has received his third strike, and will be replaced ASAP.

[Mr. Grey]

zu_Faul replaces Panzerjager.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 70 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 0
Don't Push The Button: 0

Not Voting: 9 (Angel, Carrie Fisher, Calrence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, Mr. Green, Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Don't Push The Button

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Push
2,Don't Push

1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 68 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 0
Don't Push The Button: 0

Not Voting: 9 (Angel, Carrie Fisher, Calrence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, Mr. Green, Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Don't Push The Button

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Push
2,Don't Push

1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

PookyTheMagicalBear failed to make a 25-or-more word post for 72 hours, and has received his second strike.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 66 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 0
Don't Push The Button: 0

Not Voting: 9 (Angel, Carrie Fisher, Calrence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, Mr. Green, Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Don't Push The Button

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Push
2,Don't Push

1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:1=2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

If the forums are down for Moving Day (or any other reason) before deadline, deadline will be extended accordingly.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 26 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 1 (Dweezil Zappa)
Don't Push The Button: 1 (Carrie Fisher)

Not Voting: 7 (Angel, Calrence Odbody, Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, Mr. Green, Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Don't Push The Button

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Push
2,Don't Push

1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 27 hours from this post.

Mod Note:

Deadline extended 1 day due to downtime.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 17 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 3 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa)
Don't Push The Button: 2 (Carrie Fisher, Mr. Green)

Not Voting: 4 (Glen Stewart Godwin, Huey Lewis, Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: Push The Button, Don't Push The Button

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Push
2,Don't Push

1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1>2
1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1=2

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 13.5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 4 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Huey Lewis)
Don't Push The Button: 3 (Carrie Fisher, Glen Stewart Godwin, Mr. Green)

Not Voting: 2 (Tabris, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Push The Button

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Push
2,Don't Push

1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1>2
1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1>2
1:2>1
1:1=2
1:1=2

[Mr. Grey]

VP Baltar has been appointed Stuntman.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to Decide.

Push The Button: 5 (Angel, Clarence Odbody, Dweezil Zappa, Huey Lewis, Valentine Wiggin)

Don't Push The Button: 3 (Carrie Fisher, Glen Stewart Godwin, Mr. Green)

Not Voting: 1 (Tabris)

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.4

March 5, 1918...

An alarm buzzes nearby. There is a groan from an unseen man. The alarm continues, though abruptly the volume is cut in half for some unknown reason. After another few moments, there is a creaking, and the room suddenly comes into view, the camera acting to give a look through the formerly-sleeping man's eyes. The room is well-lit, though there is no obvious source of light. A hand tosses aside an eye mask. The other hand slaps at the alarm clock, which is unusual in that it has a rotary display which is showing an apparently arbitrary sequence of numbers unrelated to the time. The man sighs and flops back onto his bunk, and the camera swings to point at the ceiling.

Eventually, the camera view shifts to a third person point of view. The quarters are cramped, suggesting a ship of some kind. The man remains on the bed, but something is... off. He appears blurry, and there is a shadow covering part of his face. The man yawns - or does he? - and finally gets up...

At least, a man gets up. The same man remains asleep on the bunk, and it is now apparent that the blurriness previously seen has been caused by the superimposition of two different possible timelines.

The man who is awake dresses. The actor playing this man is instantly recognizable as Scott Bakula, perhaps leading the audience to leap (pardon the pun) to the conclusion that Scott Bakula's character has replaced the actual man, who, judging by the uniform, is a high ranking military official.

The man walks over to a mirror. Scott Bakula's face stares back at him, dispelling that notion. He stifles a yawn, slaps himself in attempt to wake up. In doing so, he clears his head enough to realize that there is still an alarm ringing out in the distance.

"Oh boy."

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.5

Present Day...

The group outside Mr. Grey International, Inc. headquarters is arguing about whether or not to push the button while the sun sets in the background. There is a faint whisper - something like "Hurry up, we're running out of daylight!" - but that will surely be edited out of the final film.

Mr. Green:

Ok, let's take a quick count. All in favor?

Some hands go up.

Mr. Green:

Opposed?

Some other hands go up.

Valentine Wiggin:

That's five for pushing it. Let's get this over with.

Valentine grabs the box and gives the button a firm press. There is a sound effect like something futuristic powering down.

Carrie Fisher:

Did the button do anything?

ALICE:

If it did, then I will be surprised.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.6

March 5, 1918...

While one Scott Bakula lies still in the silence of the small cabin, the camera follows the other out and through the body of the ship to the bridge.

A voiceover informs the viewer that the USS Cyclops is, to those without security clearance, a bulk cargo ship headed for Baltimore carrying manganese ore as well as passengers. This is largely true. However, what only those very high up in the government are aware of the importance of manganese to a particular top secret research project.

Strange lights and futuristic devices seen in the ship as the Scott Bakula character rushes through the ship leave the viewer wondering what the secret project is, but the voiceover falls silent. Is it related to the war effort, some WWI version of the Bomb? Is it an early space mission? Are aliens involved? Have the leaders of the free world been replaced by zombies?

The actual crew of the ship is small, owing to the anachronistic technology automating various functions. And of the two crew members on the bridge, one is sound asleep.

"Lieutenant Binkley!"

Lieutenant Binkley fails to give any response other than drooling on his station.

"Commander, he's been like this all morning."

"And you didn't think this was something I should know about?"

"Sir, the alarm

has

been going off for six and a half hours..."

"You should have woken me personally. Ah, but I suppose you couldn't leave the bridge unattended. Very well. Status report, Lieutenant Beckett."

"Sir, current status unknown. These infernal machinations refuse to give any hint as to why the alarm is going off. It could mean any number of things."

"Such as? Let's narrow this down."

"Aye aye, sir. Alien abduction?"

"Of who?"

"Whom, sir."

"If I had anyone else to navigate this ship, I would put you in the brig for that, don't think I wouldn't."

"Sorry, sir."

"It seems to me that systems are reporting the entire crew is accounted for. Unless aliens have abducted Binkley's wakefulness, I think we can rule that one out."

"Asteroid, sir?"

"Why did that include that in the list of things that could set the alarm off? It's not as if we could shoot an asteroid down, or send a crew up into space to blow it up. That's ridiculous."

The Lieutenant yawns. Lt. Commander Worley notices that he is yawning too.

"Maybe the Germans have invented some sleeping sickness. Is that in the alarm book?"

"No, sir. There is

Return of the Great Zarquon

, whatever that means."

"This is useless. Aren't there any more normal causes in your book there?"

"Well, before the alarm started going off, we encountered a strange smell as we passed into the so-called Bermuda Triangle."

"What sort of smell?"

"Something between a rotting corpse and a kumquat. Sir."

"That's very descriptive of you. What did you do?"

"Lieutenant Binkley sealed off the ship, and the smell went away. But perhaps whatever caused the smell melted through our hull, and..."

"Wait. You sealed off the ship?"

"Yes, sir."

"You idiots! No wonder Lieutenant Binkley can't wake up. We're running out of oxygen! Quick, undo whatever you've done!"

But Lieutenant Beckett, yawning yet again, faints at his post. The Lt. Commander panics, then feels a tightening in his chest as his lungs fail to provide the oxygen required by his pounding heart. He tries to relax, but not too much, and his eyes dart around for some inspiration as to how to open the air vents.

He presses one button at random, immediately regretting it as he recalls that it is the automated telegraph service to his mother-in-law. After hammering out a quick apology in code that he will no doubt get hell for later, he presses another, unknown button.

With a hiss, air rushes through the bridge.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 4.7

Present Day...

Moments after Valentine presses the button, a man in a post office uniform walks up to the group.

Postal Worker:

Excuse me. I have a letter.

ALICE:

You're excused. How much did it cost? It.

Carrie Fisher:

Never mind her. Who is the letter for?

Postal Worker:

I don't know.

Huey Lewis:

What do you mean you don't know? How are you supposed to deliver a letter if you don't know who to deliver it to?

Postal Worker:

I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. I know who I am supposed to deliver it to. I just don't know the names of the people I'm supposed to deliver it to.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

People?

Tabris:

Obviously he means that he is supposed to deliver this letter to us. Though that leads to so many other questions...

Postal Worker:

Then I will try to anticipate them. This letter has been with us for many years. We were left strict instructions to deliver it on this day at exactly this time, to a group of people standing right where you are standing.

Angel:

How could anyone have known we would be here?

Postal Worker:

That I do not know. Though I suspect that the answer is in the letter.

Mr. Green:

Well, let's have it then.

Mr. Green takes the letter and opens it. He frowns. His eyes widen in surprise.

Dweezil Zappa:

What does it say?

Mr. Green:

I don't understand how this is possible. But...

"Dear Mr. Green,

If you are reading this letter, it can only mean that you have chosen to push the button. I regret to inform you that this has had terrible consequences, though since these events have already occurred in a linear timeline, perhaps that was inevitable..."

---

March 5, 1918...

We return to the Lt. Commander's cabin. Scott Bakula Number 1 is just now clawing his way toward the alarm. As his hand reaches out, the scene freezes. A mysterious blue light envelopes him. He vanishes. The alarm goes silent, and the more distant ship alarm can once again be faintly heard.

The camera follows the path that the Lt. Commander would have taken through the ship had he not disappeared. It reaches the bridge, where Lieutenant Beckett is frantically flipping through the instruction manual trying to figure out what is wrong, yawning constantly. He finally succumbs.

Switch to an external shot of the USS Cyclops. The ship cuts through the water silently, a lifeless hulk passing beneath the camera and toward the horizon. It disappears in the mists of time.

---

"Your decision may have collapsed two alternate universes into one, or perhaps there was only ever one possible choice and everything is pre-determined. It doesn't matter. Whatever the case, the time has come for certain individuals to come to the island.

Enclosed is a schedule and manifest for a cruise ship headed into the Pacific tomorrow. A number of the passengers have been... eliminated. You will replace them. The ship will bring you to the island, where... well, we'll get to that later. Others may join you. Some of you may not make it to the island, or even the ship. But you will try.

Regards,
Mr. Grey."

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.1

A camera watches as a cruise ship - of unknown affiliation, as all the identifying information on the hull is blurred until Mr. Grey Enterprises reaches a sponsorship deal with one of the major cruise lines - eases into its Los Angeles port of call.

The sun sets on the Pacific horizon behind it.

Dramatic music plays.

And in the shadows cast by the great ship, the silhouette of a tiger lurks, waiting for something. The head of the beast jerks upward just as a shout is heard and a figure - bald and orange - comes flying over the railing of the cruise ship. Before the figure splashes into the water, never to be seen again, a shout is heard:

Tony Kornheiser:

Do you know who I am??

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.2

Mr. Green:

Well? What should we do, then?

Several minutes have passed since the reading of Mr. Grey's letter, and five members of the group have wandered off after making vague promises that they will be at the cruise ship in the morning, even though no one has a good feeling about this. The other four are trying to decide how to pass the time.

Dweezil Zappa:

We could go bowling.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Maybe there's a shooting range somewhere nearby. What? I find it relaxing.

Valentine Wiggin:

Actually... I just remembered that I already have plans.

Mr. Green:

You do?

Valentine Wiggin:

Yes. And... well, you see...

Dweezil Zappa:

What?

Valentine Wiggin:

None of you can come.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

What? Why the hell not? That sounds a little suspect if you ask me. And probably not safe, anyway.

Valentine Wiggin:

I can't tell you why not.

Mr. Green:

You might as well.

Valentine Wiggin:

Why?

Mr. Green:

We'll just follow you until you do. You can't really stop us. Unless you want to involve the police, and we both know you won't do that.

Valentine Wiggin:

Er... oh, alright, fine. But you can't come. Really. I had just planned to meet up with some of the other girls for a sort of Ladies' Night.

Dweezil Zappa:

Ooh. Ladies' Night? Sounds fun. Count me in.

Valentine Wiggin:

I just said you can't come!

Glen Stewart Godwin:

I'm in, too.

Valentine Wiggin:

No!

Randy Jones:

Hi, guys. In for what?

Valentine Wiggin:

Argh!

Mr. Green:

We're going to Ladies' Night with Valentine... and... who else?

Valentine Wiggin:

Kelly and Julie. Ms. Blue was going to come, but...

Mr. Green:

Wait, you knew Ms. Blue?

Valentine Wiggin:

She's the one that arranged Ladies' Night.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Well, look, you can't go walking around by yourself. And you'll want us to keep the creepy guys off of you.

Valentine Wiggin:

I'll want

you

to keep the

creepy guys

... oh, never mind. Look, you can come with me to find Kelly, but after that you're not invited!

---

Needless to say, when they do find Kelly Garrett - who is chatting with DEATH about the weather...

DEATH:

MY KNEES NEVER LIE.

...there is no getting rid of the guys.

Valentine Wiggin:

Where's Julie?

Kelly Garrett:

I don't know. I haven't seen her since the Monty Hall show. What have you guys been up to?

Valentine Wiggin:

Oh, nothing that makes any sense at all. Come on, I want to get wasted.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.3

So much for Ladies' Night. The group that walks into the Sunset Strip bar consists of 4 men, 2 women, and 1 anthropomorphic personification. Most members of the group are therefore pleased when they spot Julie Newmar, apparently nursing a cocktail of some variety - the women are happy for a return to the theme of the evening, the men are happy that the odds are evened. Death picks a maggot off his skull with a bony finger. He couldn't care less. But then, he knows something the others don't.

Valentine Wiggin:

Is she already drunk?

Kelly Garrett:

Looks that way.

DEATH:

YOU COULD SAY SHE'S DEAD DRUNK. AND YOU'D BE HALF RIGHT.

The other six turn on Death with questioning looks.

DEATH:

WHAT? IT'S MY COPING MECHANISM.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Did she drink too much? Or was she...

Randy Jones:

Worried the cops are going to be crawling all over this place soon?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

No! I just meant...

Dweezil Zappa:

It's ok, Glen. We figured it out. We aren't going to turn you in. Whatever you did, you're a part of this mess now.

Mr. Green:

We all keep running into each other for a reason. That's true. Look, we're catching a boat tomorrow to take us to our next stop along destiny's path, let's let off some steam tonight. I'll buy the first round. What should we have?

Dweezil Zappa:

Looks like they have three specials on shots tonight... Tequila, Vodka, and... "Buttery Nipple"? What is that? Never mind. I'll go talk to the bartender, see if I can get a recommendation...

---

With 7 Roles On Camera, it will take 4 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post. Remember to stay in character as much as possible when acting out your decision making process.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

4 to decide.

Tequila: 0
Vodka: 0
Buttery Nipple: 0

Not Voting: 7 (DEATH, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Mr. Green, Randy Jones, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Tequila

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Tequila
2,Vodka
3,Buttery Nipple

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2>3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Flavor scenes are finally up-to-date.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

4 to decide.

Tequila: 0
Vodka: 0
Buttery Nipple: 0

Not Voting: 7 (DEATH, Dweezil Zappa, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Mr. Green, Randy Jones, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Tequila

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Tequila
2,Vodka
3,Buttery Nipple

1:1=2=3
1:1=2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2>3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Talilan uses the Assistant Director ability to fire curiouskarmadog.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.4

As discussion continues over the ideal drink choice, the camera moves through the crowded bar to take in the atmosphere and whatever else is happening. Visiting tonight is Hugh Hefner, and he has his usual selection of Playboy Bunnies milling around him. Two are by his side, one holding each arm and periodically kissing him on the cheek. A third is sitting on his lap, holding his drink of choice, some bizarre concoction combining the dry kick of good gin with the regularity of Metamucil.

The camera eventually makes its way to the bar, where a man is sitting slumped over a stiff drink. He looks like he has recently been run over by a truck, or perhaps crushed by an anvil.

David Blaine has had a rough few days, but his liquid courage gives him the determination to turn the night around. He stands up, stumbling slightly to the left before he finds his balance.

David Blaine:

Ladies and gentlemen!

The low buzz of a dozen conversations continues, at a slightly softer level. A few heads turn to look at him. Most just ignore him.

David Blaine:

Your attention please! Could I have a volunteer from the audience to participate in a spectacular display of magical genius?

Hugh Hefner is intrigued - or possibly asleep, it is hard to say. Whichever is the case, his hand slides down the thigh of the bunny on his right arm. She is totally not suspecting that this will happen, having previously slipped Hugh a valium to ensure that he doesn't get frisky later. She yelps in surprise.

David Blaine:

Yes, thank you. You'll do quite nicely. What's your name, pretty lady?

The bunny looks around in confusion before realizing that she is the target of the magician's question.

Playboy Bunny:

Uh... me?

David Blaine:

Yes, step right up. Don't be shy!

The bunny hops over to stand next to the magician. This draws a few people's attention to whatever magic show is about to take place, but only because they were previously ogling the bunny's huge... tracts of land.

In the background, Death pulls an hourglass out of his robe. No, that isn't a euphemism. He holds it up, taps it with a bony finger, shakes it once or twice to be sure. Someone is about to die. Rather than moving straight toward the magician and bunny, he has to navigate around the crowd and bar. Of course, he could just walk through them all, but that is always unsettling and gives him the heebie jeebies. His path takes him out of the view of the camera momentarily, and when the camera picks him up again he looks slightly different and is holding the hourglass in the wrong hand. Details, details...

---

VP Baltar uses the Stuntman ability to switch Roles with Talilan.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 71 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to decide.

Tequila: 1 (Dweezil Zappa)
Vodka: 0
Buttery Nipple: 0

Not Voting: 6 (DEATH, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Mr. Green, Randy Jones, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Tequila

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Tequila
2,Vodka
3,Buttery Nipple

1:1=2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2>3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 67 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to decide.

Tequila: 3 (Dweezil Zappa, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)
Vodka: 0
Buttery Nipple: 0

Not Voting: 4 (DEATH, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Tequila

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Tequila
2,Vodka
3,Buttery Nipple

1:1=2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2>3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

GoofballsAndBaloons has been appointed Assistant Director.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 47 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to decide.

Tequila: 3 (Dweezil Zappa, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)
Vodka: 0
Buttery Nipple: 0

Not Voting: 4 (DEATH, Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Valentine Wiggin)

Current Condorcet Winner:

Tequila

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Tequila
2,Vodka
3,Buttery Nipple

1:1=2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2>3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

4 to decide.

Tequila: 4 (DEATH, Dweezil Zappa, Mr. Green, Randy Jones)

Vodka: 0
Buttery Nipple: 0

Not Voting: 3 (Glen Stewart Godwin, Kelly Garrett, Valentine Wiggin)

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,Tequila
2,Vodka
3,Buttery Nipple

1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2=3
1:1>2>3
1:1=2=3

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.5

Before Death can reach the magician and bunny, Dweezil Zappa catches up to him/her/it from behind and tugs on the anthropomorphic personification's robe.

DEATH:

WHAT?

Dweezil Zappa:

We still haven't decided on a drink. Did you have a preference?

Death glances down at the hourglass, gives a sigh like wet gravel sliding on carpet, and turns to look Dweezil eye to eye socket.

DEATH:

TEQUILA. IF WE'RE GOING TO GET WASTED, WE MAY AS WELL DO IT RIGHT. BUT HAVE THEM PUT A LITTLE UMBRELLA IN IT.

Dweezil Zappa:

In the shot glass?

DEATH:

I LIKE UMBRELLAS.

Dweezil makes his way back over to the rest of the group and lets them know Death's preference.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Well, I guess that makes four. Weird that this was supposed to be Ladies' Night and neither of our ladies are actually voting.

Randy Jones:

Neither are you.

Glen Stewart Godwin:

Obviously, I am a gentleman.

Mr. Green:

Were are the girls, anyway?

Glen Stewart Godwin:

That's a good question.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.6

The answer is that there are other "gentlemen" in the bar, and in the time it has taken the group to reach a decision on what shots to get, the girls have been offered seats, and are currently sitting at a small table with an elderly man and several bottles of beer (with blank labels) which are in various states of optimism, if not completely empty. They are currently being entertained by a story of the man's adventures in the Amazon. Kelly Garrett leans over to Valentine and whispers in her ear.

Kelly Garrett:

This guy is so much more interesting than those losers we came here with.

Valentine Wiggin:

I know, right? He's almost

too

interesting...

The man is finishing up his story, and as he does so he takes the nearest bottle and holds it up.

The Second Most Interesting Man In The World:

...and that's when I had my first refreshing bottle of this beer. Since then... I don't always drink beer... but when I do, it's...

His mouth keeps moving, but no sound comes out. The product placement division really needs to get their act together. The girls laugh, even though there is nothing especially funny about what he just said.

Mr. Green:

There you are. Here are the shots.

The Second Most Interesting Man In The World:

Let me tell you a story about the time I did body shots with three swimsuit models and the Pope in Kuala Lumpur...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 5.7

Meanwhile, David Blaine has his Playboy Bunny in position for his most exciting magic trick yet.

David Blaine:

Now, then, you have inspect the bullet and the gun. You will verify that both are 100% real?

Playboy Bunny:

Yes...

David Blaine:

I will now load the gun... the safety is off, ladies and gentlemen, this is for real now...

He aims the gun directly at the Playboy Bunny's head.

Playboy Bunny:

Eeek!

She is too frightened to move out of the way, though, and stands shaking, eyes wide.

David Blaine:

Don't be alarmed. You are perfectly safe, so long as you remain still. Now then, obviously this is not your ordinary "Stop the Speeding Bullet" routine. For one thing, I am the one holding the gun. That's what makes this so special, ladies and gentlemen. Any moron can stop a speeding bullet with the right training, if it is being fired toward them. But how will I stop a bullet which is flying away from me?

Playboy Bunny:

Please... don't hurt me...

Death is standing next to the bunny, scythe waiting to drop, but for some reason her plea touches him. He lowers the scythe and shakes his head.

DEATH:

WHY DO I ALWAYS LET MYSELF GET INVOLVED?

David Blaine's finger squeezes the trigger, but Death is faster. As the gun fires, it is nudged slightly to the left. The camera follows the bullet in slow motion as it narrowly misses the bunny and rips straight through the head of the elderly gentleman finishing up his story. Kelly Garrett and Valentine Wiggin both scream. Pretty much everyone else in the bar ignores the gunshot, whether because they are too drunk to notice or because it is the fourth time a gun has been fired nearby today.

David Blaine:

Hey, what happened?

Before he can figure out what went wrong, though, the elderly gentleman claws at the table and pulls himself to his feet. His face is intact, which is unexpected. The girls scream again. The camera zooms in and moves around his head to reveal that while the skin has been blown away from the back of his head, underneath is not liquefied brains as might be expected, but instead hard metal.

The second most interesting android in the world raises his arms, which become metallic spikes that shoot out directly into the brains of David Blaine and the Playboy Bunny. They both go stiff, and when the android returns his "arms" to their proper place, the bodies collapse on the floor.

Kelly Garrett and Valentine Wiggin look at each other and immediately reach for the tequila and down their shots.

---

Mr. Green:

What a wild night. A robot? Everyone else saw that, right?

DEATH:

I DON'T KNOW. IT SEEMED PRETTY AVERAGE TO ME. WHY WASN'T THERE ANY DANCING?

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.1

The group meets at the dock. They are twelve, but one of those twelve is the robot, Alice. Mr. Green is missing, along with Angel and Clarence Odbody.

The group fears the worst. The scene flashes back briefly to the group leaving the bar, where a pile of dust greets them on the sidewalk. Back in the present, it is clear from the amazing acting that all of them are thinking the same thing: More of their number have been killed.

Anyway, there is no time to wait for them; the ship is about to leave, and they know they must be on board. They look around one last time, and then turn to board the ship.

---

In a small cabin, Huey Lewis, John Locke, Randy Jones, and Valentine Wiggin sit cramped on a bed and play Spades. The camera holds on them for a full minute, as they silently play cards in turn and reach to take their tricks as they come.

---

In contrast, the others are having a bit more excitement.

It is dark, and many of the passengers on the ship are eating dinner, but the group walks on the deck looking out at the moonlight reflecting off of the waves. It is serene and peaceful... at least until Death clears his throat and points.

The others, as well as the camera, follow his finger bone to catch a glimpse of moonlight reflecting off of something else.

DEATH:

I BELIEVE THE APPROPRIATE PHRASE FOR THIS SITUATION IS: "GET DOWN!"

They do so, except for Death, who is unaffected by the spray of bullets which fills the air in the seconds to follow. The others crawl for cover, and Death joins them. Death points again, this time to a door that they may make it through before their attackers can pick them off. They hurry through the door and sprint through the ship...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.2

Later...

A large room on the cruise ship. There are tables and chairs scattered about, and at the focal point of the room there is a large, round cage full of white balls, along with a big LED board showing numbers, from 1 to 75.

This is the evening bingo session, and many of the passengers are dressed in their best suits and tuxedos, having just come from a fabulous dinner. The bingo MC is turning the cage and selecting numbers out, calling them out, though the sound is muted and we can only hear the music playing over it, an appropriate yet ridiculous choice: "...B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his name-O...".

Unfortunately, due to a technical problem, the LED display is frozen, so we also can't see what numbers have been called so far.

The MC reaches into the cage and holds up a ball, but before he can call out this latest number, the group of seven (eight counting Alice) being chased run in through one of the restricted access doors and, not looking where they are going, run into the MC and ball cage and send all of the balls rolling around on the floor.

The MC crashes to the floor and hits his head on the corner of the stage, killing him instantly. Meanwhile, the group of assassins burst into the room, but on seeing that the room is too crowded, they hide their guns behind their backs and whistle, waiting to resume the chase in a less noticeable way. The bingo players, however, are less concerned about these events and more concerned about the ball he was about to call out.

Concerned Bingo Player:

Did any of you see the ball?

Dweezil Zappa:

Are you crazy? A man just died, and we are fleeing for our lives, and you want to know about a stupid game?

Concerned Bingo Player:

Stupid game? That stupid game could change my life around! If you didn't see the number, perhaps I'll kill you all myself!

Tabris:

Now, let's hold on for a minute...

Carrie Fisher:

Alice, did you see the ball?

ALICE:

Sorry I can't see anything right now. My eye is off.

Kelly Garrett:

I'm sure one of us had a clear view... here, give us a little time and we'll talk about it and see if we can piece together what we remember.

Concerned Bingo Player:

Well... I suppose that will have to do. But no funny business. You have one hour.

Count de Morcerf:

One hour? To figure out whether any of us saw anything or not? Don't you think that's... ow!

Glen Stewart Godwin jabs the Count sharply in the ribs. He whispers:

Glen Stewart Godwin:

It will give us time to agree on a number to call. We don't even know which numbers have been called already, unless any of you saw anything. The bingo players don't know what it was any more than we do. And the time will settle them down. And maybe we'll find a way out of our predicament with the assassins, too.

DEATH:

ASSASSINS, CHASING DEATH... WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.3

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, three men wearing masks stand over a fourth, who is very dead.

Mr. Green is mangled almost beyond recognition, his green suit turned brown with blood stains. The men speak English, but with outrageous Italian accents.

Man wearing Mask of Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini:

We are close. I can taste it.

Man wearing Mask of Nero Claudius Cæsar Augustus Germanicus:

Grey has no one left to hide behind, now.

The third, wearing the mask of Marcus Junius Brutus, nods. His hand reaches up and under the neck of the mask, pulling it off his... oh.

Mr. Grey's Assistant:

Perform the ritual.

---

It is Scene 6. With 7 Roles On Camera, it will take 4 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post. Remember to stay in character as much as possible when acting out your decision making process.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene Information:

The alternatives for Scene 6's decision are the numbers 1-75. There are five possible outcomes (Very Bad, Bad, Neutral, Good, Very Good), and 15 numbers for each outcome.

Each Role may ask one question by PM about the nature of the alternatives. This question must be in the following form:

"Does [Set of at least 5 but no more than 70 numbers] have the property that [Property]?"

The property must only be related to the outcomes of the given set; it cannot reference another set.

If you are unsure whether a possible question is valid, ask by PM for clarification.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Flavor scenes are once again up-to-date.

[Mr. Grey]

ShadowLurker has been appointed Stuntman.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 72 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to Decide.

(None)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None.

---

Mod Note:

I will be gone Thursday-Sunday. The deadline may be extended (depending on how often I am able to check on the game). Don't rely on an extension, however.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

42 hours from this post.

---

Mod Note:

Deadline extended until I am back. There will probably not be an official vote count between now and then.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.4

Elsewhere over the Pacific...

From the point of view of a camera in a boat (or perhaps on a very tiny island), the scene opens with a shot of the ocean, panning around to show water everywhere, as far as the eye can see, only bound by the horizon. It is still dark, though to the east the sky is somewhat lighter as the sun creeps toward the horizon.

As the camera completes its panoramic shot, the sound of a helicopter can be heard getting louder, and suddenly the source of the sound comes into view just as it is passing over the camera loudly. The camera jerks around to follow it, shaking slightly as the cameraman struggles to keep up with the helicopter and fights off the air turbulence.

After the helicopter has flown a good distance away, the view switches to a camera on board. Mr. Grey's Assistant can be seen in the co-pilot's seat, while an unknown man flies the helicopter over the water. In the distance, there is nothing but a speck, but the speck begins to grow as the helicopter comes closer. The scene fades to black, and just before the view vanishes completely it becomes clear that the helicopter is approaching the cruise ship...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.5

Back in the Bingo Hall, the group is nearing the end of their hour's reprieve from being chased by men with guns, and is forced to make a decision. Putting together what vague memories they have of the board before it went off, and their gut feelings about the balls, they reach a consensus...

Dweezil Zappa:

N-41!

ALICE:

What time is it there?

The group looks at Alice, not sure what to make of this response. Meanwhile, the bingo playing crowd look uncertainly at their cards. There are a few murmurs throughout, as players hold up their cards and inspect them closely. The camera catches one or two of these cards, showing that 41 is already marked off.

With the extras unsure how to act out such a scenario, there is a moment of confusion, before one brave young actor stands up and shouts:

Young Man with Baseball Cap:

Bingo!

Those players who are holding cards marked with 41 aren't sure how this is possible, but eventually the actors settle on two rationalizations, not wanting to argue and ruin the film: One, the young man missed the previous call of 41 and should have already had a bingo. Two, they marked the wrong number by mistake. Neither of these explanations make any sense from a film perspective, as this whole bingo scenario was clearly set up as a part of the script, but the extras are trying extra hard to become one with their characters. The brave young actor, of course, is going off-script and trying to get more screen time.

The group in the front of the hall applauds nervously and looks around for the assassins. In doing so, Carrie Fisher spots the briefcase holding today's bingo grand prize of $10,000. She picks it up and smiles at the apparent winner, and walks over to present it to him, stalling again for time.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.6

Later...

The young man from the bingo scene is the star of a short montage showing his life after winning. It is revealed that he is a college student on a cruise with his parents, and the bingo jackpot represents the largest amount of money he has ever had at any one time. It is then revealed that the man has a bit of a gambling habit, and it has been his lifelong dream to enter the World Series of Poker. He takes that $10,000 and uses it for an entry fee into the tournament.

Several hands from the tournament are shown, as the young man gets the luckiest run of cards ever, and knocks out player after player. There are cameos by several well-known professional poker players, who all owe favors to Mr. Grey and are appearing in the film to pay off their debts to him. Phil Hellmuth has a heart attack after calling the young man an idiot.

Predictably, our young "hero" wins the tournament, limping in against Mike Matusow on the final hand with 72o and flopping a full boat. Mike Matusow nearly strangles him before being pulled off by security, and the young man swims in a pile of cash, a record $15million.

He then takes his gambling to a new arena, studying the stock market and investing wisely. Soon his millions are turned into billions, and he starts appearing on the cover of investment magazines, and even more mainstream publications. He uses some of his massive wealth to invest in startup companies, one of which is a technology firm called SkyTrix.

Within ten years, the world is overrun by evil, cereal eating, super-intelligent, robot bunnies.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 6.7

The group are running as fast as they can through the inside of the ship, and glass is shattering around them as bullets narrowly miss (or as the special effects team sets off tiny charges to simulate the bullets hitting nearby). The characters duck automatically every time this happens, but otherwise run in pretty much a straight line from one end of the central area of the ship to the other end, where an open elevator awaits.

Before they make it to the elevator, however, there is a ding and the neighboring elevator opens, revealing another assassin who has cut them off at the pass. The six human characters skid to a halt, while Death stops instantaneously and Alice continues to charge forward, having not been told to stop. The she-bot takes multiple bullets to the face, and circuitry flies everywhere. The others put their hands up, as the assassins point their guns and prepare to finish the job.

Outside, the helicopter containing Mr. Grey's Assistant and her associates closes on the cruise ship. Mr. Grey's Assistant presses a button in front of you, and there is a loud hiss as a rocket ignites and shoots off toward the ship. The blinking lights indicate the progress of the rocket, and just as the dots representing rocket and ship merge, the camera cuts away to the inside of the ship, where a loud explosion rocks the boat, sending the assassins stumbling in every direction. One falls over a railing in the open area of the central part of the ship, breaking his neck in the fall. Another is cut down by the inadvertent bullet spray fired by a third. Death darts around faster than the eye can track, making quick work of them with his scythe. He cheats a bit and trips another assassin who is regaining his balance and preparing to fire.

The group don't have time to deal with the living assassins, however, and they rush to make their way toward a life boat...

The scene skips forward in time. The helicopter is nowhere to be seen, nor is the ship apart from a few flaming pieces of wreckage. There are a handful of lifeboats scattered in the water. Two of these are far away from the others, and the camera zooms toward them as they are taken by the currents toward a nearby island and the view fades to black.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 7.1

Quite close to the island's sandy beach, only one of the lifeboats can be seen, the other having been taken by the currents to another part of the island.

The lifeboat has seven occupants, and the camera focuses on each of them in turn:

Carrie Fisher is cradling the head of Alice, the robot who apparently did not come out of the cruise ship explosion in one piece. Carrie is rather stoic about the whole situation, except in her body language toward the disembodied head of her android companion - she holds it like a mother holding a child. Wires and the jagged ends of mechanical connectors are sticking out of Alice's neck, and occasionally twitching as the computer brain exhausts the last of its battery power to try to find a way to survive.

Count de Morcerf has the look of a man who has seen it all. He has betrayed a friend and rival, married a beautiful woman, become rich and powerful, lost it all, been pulled out of his world and into a strange new one, where he has been subjected to game after game under the ever watchful eye of the mysterious Mr. Grey. Nothing surprises him any longer. He doesn't know what will come next, but he is determined to survive it.

DEATH is.

Dweezil Zappa, Huey Lewis, and Randy Jones have occupied themselves by humming various rock standards. They are currently on "Time Is On My Side", by the Rolling Stones. The song itself is somewhat comforting, but mostly has value in that it is keeping their minds off of everything else.

Valentine Wiggin is scared, but still ever so logical. Much like her brothers, she is mature beyond her years; she wonders briefly how Peter would handle such a situation, then tries to shove that thought aside as the image of a dissected squirrel comes instantly into her mind.

The waves bring the boat close to the shore, close enough that the less downtrodden feel safe to jump out of the boat and wade the rest of the way to the beach, guiding the boat along as soon as the water is shallow enough to stand in. Before long, the last of the group, Carrie, is climbing over the inflated side of the boat. She looks down at the head in her arms, which has stopped twitching and closes its eyes. She blinks back a tear, then tosses the head into the shallow water.

Before anyone's thoughts can turn to the other boat, or to survival on the island, they spy something down the beach a hundred feet or so away, and the group trudges over to investigate. As they approach, they, and the camera, can see clearly that the object is a coffin, and when they open it they are a little (but not very) shocked to reveal...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 7.2

The seven trek through the jungle, single file, Death making use of his scythe to clear the path in front of them. Apart from the anthropomorphic personification, everyone is creeped out after finding John Locke's body and want to put as much distance between themselves and the beach as possible.

As they walk, they fail to notice several objects which are out of place in a remote, Pacific island. Fans of the Mr. Grey franchise will recognize them as coming from Mr. Grey's early work, predating the current trilogy, which some consider something of a prequel (and no doubt more will join them after the surprise appearance of Mr. Grey's Assistant and her merry band of masked men). Just off the path, half buried in the dirt, lies a charred mask. The group steps over a skeleton wearing a bleached-blonde wig. A football helmet is hanging from a tree...

After ignoring all of these things, however, the group is forced to halt when they come to something they cannot ignore: a large metal box shaped much like the coffin they found on the beach. It rests in the middle of a clearing in the jungle, and, defying all explanation, the ground of the clearing is covered with a layer of snow.

Two of the men grab branches to use as levers to pry the lid of the box open, revealing...

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 7.3

Death continues to lead the plucky band of adventurers through the jungle, marching roughly in a straight line across the island. At the back of the line, Valentine Wiggin suddenly stops.

Valentine Wiggin:

Did you hear that?

Dweezil Zappa:

Hear what?

Valentine Wiggin:

I thought I heard... voices. Did no one else hear anything?

Carrie Fisher:

You're just jumpy, dear.

Valentine shrugs and the group continues until they hear a loud mechanical sound, deep in the jungle to the left. Or was it to the right?

Valentine Wiggin:

Ok, I

know

you heard that.

DEATH:

I DON'T LIKE THAT ONE BIT. IT SOUNDS LIKE THE SOUNDS I USED TO MAKE ON THE JOB WHEN I WAS INTO HEAVY METAL.

Count de Morcerf:

Heavy metal?

Huey Lewis:

What should we do?

Before anyone can answer, a tree nearby disappears with a pop, splinters flying everywhere.

Randy Jones:

Run!

The group flees, the sounds in the jungle around them growing louder until they are suddenly in another clearing and the world goes eerily silent. Everyone slows and looks around to make sure they are all still together. Randy Jones points ahead of them.

Randy Jones:

Look!

Before them is a valley between two large hills in the island, clear of trees for almost as far as they can see. One of the hills ends abruptly in a cliff, and at the top of the cliff they can see a large house. And standing on the edge of the cliff, in front of the house, is...

Count de Morcerf:

Is that... Mr. Grey?

It seems obvious now, the ultimate destination, but their are two paths before the group... on takes a steep climb up the hill and cliff, while the other looks unused but takes a much gentler path around the hill and up. They stop to argue once again, this time over whether they should take the high road or the road less traveled.

---

Meanwhile, in the same valley, just around the second hill and out of sight of the group, the helicopter responsible for the sinking of the cruise ship glides to a landing, the powerful forces created by its rotary blades flattening the grass in a circle all around it. As the helicopter touches down, the two men in masks hop out and begin the process of lifting out a large... coffin.

Mr. Grey's Assistant supervises them, and when they have moved the box away from the helicopter, she bends down to open it; it is an unnecessary precaution, but she knows that the island does strange things, and she wants to be sure that the contents are still there. Ominous music plays as the box opens to reveal...

Production note: Replace with shot of Mr. Green's rotting corpse.

---

It is Scene 7. With 7 Roles On Camera, it will take 4 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post. Remember to stay in character as much as possible when acting out your decision making process.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

There will be no participation strikes or replacements from this point.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 7.4

The scene is barely underway when the actors briefly break character, one by one noticing that two of the actors not in the current scene have walked up behind Mr. Grey. The camera follows, a mistake since Mr. Grey's part in the scene is supposed to be over and the other two characters aren't meant to appear at all, but what's done is done and will have to be fixed in post-production. The actors have little time to wonder where the remaining actor, the man giving an unexpectedly excellent performance as Kelly Garrett, is hiding, as Mr. Grey taps something on his phone and the entire island shakes with a massive earthquake.

The land between the group of actors and the mansion on the hill is split by a deep, jagged chasm, both paths cut by a gap too large to jump. All of them, even Death, stumble and tumble over on their backsides from the force of the earthquake. They look frantically to each other for some reassurance that this is supposed to happen, but none of them know what is going on.

The helicopter appears, coming around the hill, flying low above the valley. The actors try to regain their balance while looking at the incoming helicopter. This, at least, is expected. The actors begin to convince themselves that the earthquake was just a part of the film, some special effects trick that Mr. Grey cooked up to surprise them and get genuine reactions. Some of them begin to mentally rehearse the lines they need to deliver when the helicopter arrives.

It lands, and Mr. Grey's Assistant steps out. Shouting over the helicopter, one of the actors starts to act out the scene for this scenario...

Carrie Fisher:

Who are you?

DEATH:

SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS OF OUR...

Mr. Grey's Assistant:

Stop acting! This isn't a part of the script! Hurry, we have to get you...

She motions toward the helicopter while she speaks, but as she turns back toward it, there is a whine that grows louder as the eyes behind the masks of Mussolini and Nero grow wider. The two men are frozen in panic, however, and are unable to move, much less escape the cockpit of the helicopter, before they disappear in a blinding explosion which throws Mr. Grey's Assistant backward and knocks the cameraman off his feet.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 8.1

The seven characters - or rather, actors - are running along with a dedicated cameraman through the jungle. Mr. Grey's assistant is nowhere to be seen, but after the explosion and the earthquake, who can blame the poor actors for fleeing without checking on her?

The keep running until they again hear voices in the trees, but this time everyone hears them and recognizes that they are not the backward-playing voices meant to add creepy mystery to the film, but rather the voices of two of the other actors, calling out to them.

There is a break in the trees, and the two actors are visible across the way, but before the group can reunite the "monster" sound returns. That sound was definitely on the special effects list, but after the off-script events that have already happened, the prospect of an actual monster appearing causes everyone to slow and look around.

Out of the trees appears an unidentified flying... orange? No, it's too big to be an orange. A pumpkin, then. It has been carved to show a frightening face, but of course the most startling thing is the flying. It hovers between the group of seven and the other two. Then it turns and, for all appearance, moons the group of two.

"GoofballsAndBaloons" and "Thok" can't help but laugh at this, and so their smiles are the last expressions on their faces, seared into the minds of the other actors as a bright beam shoots out of the pumpkin's backside and disintegrates the both of them.

It almost seems that the pumpkin's carved expression shifts into a bit more of a grin, but that is clearly absurd. Suddenly, simultaneously, the other actors collapse, along with the cameraman; the camera catches this as it drops to the ground and shuts off on impact.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 8.2

The actors wake in a large hall, sitting in fancy chairs around a large, round table. The camera looks at each of them in turn, and then is pointed back at the person now holding it...

Mr. Grey gives a wave, and then sets the camera down on a tripod near the wall to take in the whole table.

Mr. Grey:

You're awake. Good. I am sure you must all be confused. I wasn't entirely prepared for this, myself. I thought I had a little more time...

He looks away from his captive audience and begins to pace.

Mr. Grey:

You are wondering if this is all a part of the film. You see the camera, you see the red light that shows it is recording. In a way, yes, this is still the film. But in another... surely you have noticed how things keep going wrong. Actors have been murdered, and not just those who you as a group have decided to "evict" from the film. Bad choices have been made in the scenes, where I left you freedom to display your acting prowess. My enemies must have had a hand in that as well.

This film was about more than money... films have power. The power to shape reality. My enemies have evidently gotten wind of my plans, and have infiltrated us in order to bend the film - and reality itself - to their will. You can decide for yourselves later whether

anyone

should play moderator to the universe, but I assure you that it is better off in my hands than in those of the enemy.

I know, now, who they are. I know two of you remain, opposed to the successful completion of this film. But alas... even I am bound by rules...

It remains in your hands, those of you who are innocent in these things. You have the power to eliminate my enemies... or you can fail, and take your last breath knowing that you have caused the end of the world as we know it. Choose wisely...

---

It is Scene 8. With 7 Actors remaining, it will take 4 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post.

The Endgame Setup is... 2:5 Vanilla. Between Scenes, the remaining [Something Else] will have the ability to kill. There are no special abilities among the Innocents.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Tags which were previously available only Off Stage are now available for use On Camera. The Rules will be updated accordingly.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

Not Voting: 7 (hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Talilan, Thesp, VP Baltar, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Talilan, Thesp, VP Baltar, zu_Faul, No Lynch

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch

1:2=3=4=5=6=7=8>1
1:1=3=4=5=6=7=8>2
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:1=2=3=5=6=7=8>4
1:3>1=2=7>4=6>8>5
1:1=2=3=4=5=7=8>6
1:1=2=3=4=5=6=8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

StarKiss: 1 (Thesp)
Talilan: 1 (hewitt)

Not Voting: 5 (Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Talilan, VP Baltar, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, StarKiss

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1=3=4=5=6=7=8>2
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:1=2=3=5=6=7=8>4
1:3>1=2>4=6>8>5=7
1:1>3>5>4>2>8>6=7
1:1=2=3=4=5=6=8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

StarKiss: 1 (Thesp)
Talilan: 1 (hewitt)

Not Voting: 5 (Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Talilan, VP Baltar, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, StarKiss

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1=3=4=5=6=7=8>2
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:1=2=3=5=6=7=8>4
1:3>1=2>4=6>8>5=7
1:1>3>5>4>2>8>6=7
1:1=2=3=4=5=6=8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

hewitt: 2 (Mighty Orbots, VP Baltar)
StarKiss: 1 (Thesp)
Talilan: 1 (hewitt)

Not Voting: 3 (StarKiss, Talilan, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Talilan, Thesp, VP Baltar

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1>3=4=5=6=7=8>2
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:1=2=3=5=6=7=8>4
1:3>1=2>4=6>8>5=7
1:1>3>5>4>2>8>6=7
1:3>6>2>1>4>5>8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 70 hours from this post.

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 52.5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

hewitt: 2 (Mighty Orbots, VP Baltar)
StarKiss: 2 (Talilan, Thesp)
Talilan: 1 (hewitt)

Not Voting: 2 (StarKiss, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

StarKiss

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1>3=4=5=6=7=8>2
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:3>5>1=2>6>7>4>8
1:3>1=2>4=6>8>5=7
1:1>3>5>4>2>8>6=7
1:3>6>2>1>4>5>8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 26.5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

StarKiss: 2 (Talilan, Thesp)
hewitt: 1 (Mighty Orbots)
Talilan: 1 (hewitt)

Not Voting: 3 (StarKiss, VP Baltar, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

StarKiss

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch
9,Mr. Grey

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1>4>3=5>6>9>2>8>7
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:3>5>1=2>6>7>4>8
1:3>1=2>4=6>8>5=7
1:3>1>5>4>2>8>6=7
1:3>1>4=6>2>5>8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 16 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

StarKiss: 2 (Talilan, Thesp)
Talilan: 2 (hewitt, VP Baltar)
hewitt: 1 (Mighty Orbots)

Not Voting: 2 (StarKiss, zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Talilan, Thesp

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch
9,Mr. Grey

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1>4>3=5>6>9>2>8>7
1:1=2=4=5=6=7=8>3
1:3>5>1=2>6>7>4>8
1:3>1=2>4=6>8>5=7
1:4>5>1>3>2>8>6=7
1:3>1>4=6>2>5>8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Deadline:

Approximately 5 hours from this post.

Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

Talilan: 3 (hewitt, StarKiss, VP Baltar)
hewitt: 2 (Mighty Orbots, Thesp)
StarKiss: 1 (Talilan)

Not Voting: 1 (zu_Faul)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, StarKiss, Talilan, Thesp

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch
9,Mr. Grey

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:1>4>3=5>6>9>2>8>7
1:4>5>2=6>1>8>3>7
1:3>5>1=2>6>7>4>8
1:1>3>2>4=6>8>5=7
1:4>5>1>3>2>8>6=7
1:3>1>4=6>2>5>8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

4 to lynch.

Talilan: 4 (hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, VP Baltar)

StarKiss: 2 (Talilan, Thesp)

Not Voting: 1 (zu_Faul)

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Talilan
5,Thesp
6,VP Baltar
7,zu_Faul
8,No Lynch
9,Mr. Grey

1:4>3>2>5>6>7>8>1
1:4>5>1>3>6>9>2>8>7
1:4>5>2=6>1>8>3>7
1:3>5>1=2>6>7>4>8
1:3>1>2>4=6>8>5=7
1:4>5>1>3>2>8>6=7
1:3>1>4=6>2>5>8>7

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 8.3

In another room of the mansion, Mr. Grey relaxes on a white settee. The furniture is out of place, but has sentimental value to him, and the cushions have been broken in just so...

He sips on his drink, probably some ridiculously old scotch, judging by the colour. His attention is on a large, high definition screen which shows the arguments in the other room so clearly that he can see the individual pores on the actors' faces.

The door bursts open and Mr. Grey's Assistant stumbles into the room. Her face is bloody and her clothes singed. And she is holding a gun, which she points directly at her employer.

Mr. Grey:

Ah, there you are, my dear. Have a seat...

She grimaces, both in pain and at his cheerful greeting. She had hoped for at least some sign of distress on his part. She doesn't pull the trigger, though. She lowers the gun and limps over to a chair positioned so that she can keep one eye on him and one eye on the screen.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 8.4

Talilan:

Look, guys... I get it. You don't trust me. You need to kill me. You're just looking out for your own safety. Perfectly reasonable. I wish it didn't have to come to this, but, hey, that's life. But can someone tell me something? Please? Why does it have to be like this?

The others shrug, and continue circling the table. Talilan is secured to the table with thick rope, and is bleeding slowly from multiple shallow cuts which for some unknown reason are refusing to clot.

It is a slow process, but as she passes out from the loss of blood she doesn't feel much pain. At least, not until after she is dead.

zu_Faul:

Ours is not to reason why. Ours is but to do, and...

---

Talilan (Diane Keaton, Innocent) has been lynched. It is Night. Deadline is approximately 72 hours from this post.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 9.1

zu_Faul:

...die.

As he finishes the quote, his body goes stiff and he falls forward, bouncing off the table and onto the floor. The others watch in silence as he writhes in pain, his fingers clutching at his skull, trying to get whatever is causing this out of his head and failing. Two are responsible, but they show no sign of it; the other three are too terrified, too concerned about their own prospects for survival than with figuring out how the evil doers among them are capable of killing instantly and with only a thought.

The lights go out, momentarily. When they are restored, both bodies are missing.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 9.2

Mr. Grey's Assistant:

Can't you stop this?

Mr. Grey:

Even if I could... why would I want to?

Mr. Grey's Assistant:

How many more innocent people are going to die?

Mr. Grey:

Innocent? Only in that they aren't murderers. They all knew what they were signing up for, even if they didn't want to admit it to themselves. This is a dirty business. It will be good to retire.

Mr. Grey's Assistant?

Retire? I'm going to kill you.

Mr. Grey:

That's one way it may happen. Or, evil will prevail, and reshape reality. Or, my project will be complete and... well, that will be revealed soon enough, should it come to pass. But my foray into the film business... that is at an end...

Mr. Grey's Assistant:

And what then? If you survive this, I mean.

Mr. Grey:

Ah, your confidence that you will kill me is shaken already.

She raises the gun again, but immediately recognizes that this is an empty threat, and that he knows it. She lowers it again, and returns her attention to the screen. It may not matter what she chooses to do here, soon.

---

zu_Faul (Audrey Hepburn, Innocent Assistant Producer) has been killed. With 5 Actors remaining, it will take 3 votes to reach a majority before deadline, which is two weeks from this post.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Flavor scenes updated.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

3 to lynch.

hewitt: 1 (Thesp)

Not Voting: 4 (hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, VP Baltar)

Current Condorcet Winner:

None. Current Smith Set: hewitt, Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Thesp, VP Baltar, No Lynch

To view the complete table of pairwise results, put the following information into this form.

1,hewitt
2,Mighty Orbots
3,StarKiss
4,Thesp
5,VP Baltar
6,No Lynch

1:2=3=4=5=6>1
1:1=3=4=5=6>2
1:1=2=4=5=6>3
1:1>3>2>5>4=6
1:1=2=3=4=6>5

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

3 to lynch.

hewitt: 3 (Mighty Orbots, StarKiss, Thesp)

Not Voting: 2 (hewitt, VP Baltar)

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 9.3

Mr. Grey:

That's that, then.

Mr. Grey stands and walks over to the bar along the wall to refill his drink. He sits back down and leans back.

Mr. Grey's Assistant:

Aren't you going to get in there and finish things off? You must have some big dramatic reveal in mind.

Mr. Grey:

I suppose I could. But frankly, I don't think this hewitt character deserves it.

[Mr. Grey]

Scene 9.4

The Next Day...

Millions of moviegoers across the world are enthralled by the action, the drama, the romance, and the magic of David Blaine, as City of Angels premieres simultaneously in theaters everywhere.

In fact, they are so drawn into the movie that one might call them brainwashed zombies.

The ending drops on them almost without warning. For five minutes and thirty seven seconds, the five member main cast sits around and does virtually nothing, and then suddenly there are three votes, hewitt is dead and revealed as Ron Howard/Count de Morcerf, the longest surviving role in the film series, and the remaining members of the Church of Scientology immediately turn on the other two and stab them in their faces.

The scene shifts to the other room, where Mr. Grey and Mr. Grey's Assistant had been sitting. They are still sitting there... except their heads have been exploded telekinetically. Blood is everywhere. Mr. Grey's drink has a tinge of red. It is sitting on the table in front of him, along with a golden apple.

The scene shifts back to the two remaining cast members. One of them takes out a large pad of paper like the ones used in the classic game show, Win, Lose, or Draw. The other is sitting nearby, surrounded by computer and musical equipment.

The camera zooms in on the paper as the music begins to play.

No mehum can draw this fast. What flashes before the viewers is as smooth as a video on Youtube. The Scientologists had hoped to have Tom Cruise to do this scene live when they took over the film, but alas, they are forced to improvise...

---

Video.

---

In theaters everywhere, there is a moment of silence as the cartoonist stops drawing, and the music ends. Then, as one, the newly converted Scientology Zombie Horde rises, turns toward the nearest aisle, and begins to march out of the theater and into the unprepared world...

Roll credits...

---

hewitt (Ron Howard, Innocent), Thesp (Clint Eastwood, Innocent), and VP Baltar (Innocent Angeleno, Innocent) are dead.

Mighty Orbots (Danny Elfman, Scientologist), StarKiss (Jack Chick, Scientologist Traitor) and the rest of the Church of Scientology win!

[Mr. Grey]

Roles, etc. to appear here.

Scientologist QuickTopic:

Link

Quick Notes:

The much talked about Scene 1 Advocate PM was both to inject a bit of intrigue in the event that both Advocates ended up being Innocent, and to add confusion to the nature of the scum group/setup. Talitha was closest to figuring it out, though of course no one listened. Had curiouskarmadog chosen to advocate for the wrong choice, and had he been successful, he would have joined the "Screen Mafia Guild", of which he would have been the only member. The Screen Mafia Guild's goal was to get screen time, and his new win condition would have been to get on screen one more time.

Jack Chick only knew that DrippingGoofball was scum. StarKiss joined the group between Scenes 6 and 7 (this was pre-determined, to allow for a little final-scene planning). The group knew they had a traitor, but not who it was (and they thought it was ckd for most of the game).

I was a little surprised no-lynching wasn't considered more. But it probably wouldn't have helped, after the scum turned around the On Camera results.

The secret words in the previous two games were mostly irrelevant, other than hinting at the hidden mechanics. This time, they clued Mr. Grey's true identity, and the scum were able to successfully figure it out (with the help of Gaspar asking for them), getting a -2 bonus toward Endgame.

Aside from the AP (which was confirmed innocent in the Endgame), there were two non-vanilla Actors on the Innocent side - Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert were daytalking masons. They were given fakeclaims, and the scum were told that at least one non-vanilla role existed so that they could try to eliminate them before Endgame.

There were a couple of mistakes that slipped into the role PMs that I didn't catch until claim time - the win condition changed between adding the Sample PM to the Rules and sending out PMs; Thesp caught it, but fortunately hewitt and VP Baltar did not. VP Baltar's PM said "Role Name" instead of Actor Name, another mistake that slipped in because it was copied from the Sample.

Scum had three kills to use total. They decided to use two at once to add to the "two group" confusion - which worked to some extent, but also meant they couldn't get rid of both masons and the AP once they figured them out.

The participation/modkill rules did not go as well as I had hoped. I think strict rules can work in theory, but they need some more tweaking, and I need to be far more selective about who I let into the game in the first place.