Author Mafia - Game Over!

[David Foster Wallace]

22 September Y.D.A.U.¹

The death of Terry "My Magic Is Powered By Rage" Goodkind² being widely considered a tragedy I am ready to bring swift justice to those accountable, chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken notwithstanding. RNG³ says the good doctor is the culprit.

Vote: Dr. Seuss

1. Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment, a calendar year under the system of Subsidized Time.
2. Candidly, I stopped reading his so-called novels precisely after the chicken-that-is-not-a-chicken sequence
3. Random Number Generator, an impartial method of choosing a random vote from this anonymous list of authors

[David Foster Wallace]

27 September Y.D.A.U.

Vote: Edgar Allen Poe

For displaying a strategy of throwing you-know-what⁴ at the wall to see what sticks.⁵ His overall level of activity has been high when compared to the rest of the authors in attendance but his posting conveys a frenetic sense of trying to blend in and keep himself in the right position. Thomas Pynchon's post #47 raises salient points and mirrored my thought process on the matter to such a degree that I confidently call him town⁶ yet E.A.P. deftly ignores it while doing a V.C.A.⁷ that is clearly built specifically to lend credence to his joining of the M.Z.B. wagon.⁸

Other persons of interest at this time are Gertrude Stein, about whom I had the same concern just raised in post #79 by the the much-maligned M.Z.B., and David Mamet⁹ based on the principle put forth by Lemony Snicket in posts #10 and #25.

I will also take the time to note that some authors seem to be getting lost in style-over-substance, and though to this point I have given such authors a free pass, as it were, if it becomes a habit they can expect to rise accordingly in my tracking of suspects. My own posts can reasonably be expected to be in depth, infrequent¹⁰ and in style.¹¹

4. Fecal matter, in the most common versions of the metaphor, or spaghetti for an audience of children
5. Ex: post #32, coupled with 3 out of his first 4 posts containing a change of vote
6. And would encourage him to come join me back on the Poe wagon, where I have kept his seat warm
7. Vote Count Analysis
8. A wagon which has me greatly unsettled primarily due to those aboard it rather than the merits of the point raised against her
9. Especially if Poe is, as I suspect, scum - see post #27
10. A luxury afforded by the generous deadline length and overall low pace of posting, something I don't wish to see changed as a game such as this could quickly drown under the weight of too many words.
11. Though not, I hope, lacking in substance.

[David Foster Wallace]

yrstruly i do suspek de scum is waitin n hopin for more votes on marine zim n furthermost i suspek if you join yrstruly an vote for poe then therewego and the game wil get to movin

[David Foster Wallace]

A LETTER OF RESPONSE TO ONE THOMAS PYNCHON FROM THE AUTHOR DAVID FOSTER WALLACE POSTMARKED 5 OCTOBER YEAR OF THE DEPEND ADULT UNDERGARMENT, MAILED FROM THE ENNET HOUSE DRUG AND ALCOHOL RECOVERY HOUSE¹²

Re:

Somethin' else. Wallace, why's it that you think that flatlander Bradley's town?

Mr. Pynchon,
Through no direct action on her part. I put more stock in my reaction to the wagon on her. Several of the bandwagoners turned my stomach¹³, with reasons for voting either vacuous or nonexistent. M.Z.B.'s own posts have been obtuse¹⁴ to the point that I don't find picking them apart to be as diagnostic as gauging the reactions others have to her.
Yours Sincerely
David

P.S. I plead again for you to move back to the E.A.P. wagon. Flashwagons rise and fall around it¹⁵, but the slow build and reluctance of most anyone else to say a damn word about it lends credence to my theory that it is in fact on scum. Poe himself blithely ignored me completely.

12. Redundancy

sic

13. cummings, Wilde, Poe, Williamson, Stein
14. Like many of the authors here present
15. See: Austen, Jane

[David Foster Wallace]

yrstruly I have ben waitin n waitin for mister Poe to say nething about yrstruly or de suspicions yrstruly does hold but Poe is a sneaky slydog and in all his words an words he still has ignored yrstruly an ima start to tweak if ppl more ppl don do somethin bout it an vote for Poe, yrstruly i really am

[David Foster Wallace]

yrstruly I do gots to be sorry fer bein so little in dis thread, but yrstruly has ben havin' hisself a relaps n his addikshun, jus wanted to say dat Pinchy Tom P is still runnin' wit my town crew, n so be Lemon Snickers an de lord G-d my man hisself which yrstruly is happy to say, n one more dat be JJoyce, yrstruly I hav ben seein' more thru the confushon of his posts n he's aktually got his hed clear (sumthin an addik like yrstruly admires)

an let me yrstruly remind all de scums me n my crew wegonna fuck up your map, yeswewill, pretty soon yrstruly I will have figgered out all de towns n den there will be no wear to hide

(but for srs mister Poe yrstruly I gots to commend yr effort, still scum but mor ppl shud do de same)

[David Foster Wallace]

AN ANONYMOUS¹⁶ CRITIQUE RECEIVED AS AN EDITORIAL BY THE BOSTON GLOBE, 17 OCTOBER YEAR OF THE DEPEND ADULT UNDERGARMENT

"A Soliloquy, Contradictory"

If I may be so bold as to wade through the archaic language of our modern Shakespeare, it appears his most recent scene would have benefited from more time in revisions.¹⁷ He opens with a thought on G. Williamson as follows:

Sir Williamson beseeches us for votes.    
    Now by my troth, were I a murdrous one  
  I'd not so purposelessly seek support.

The gist here is that Williamson is deemed innocent for beseeching votes. And yet, though reading the thread is in the stage directions, there is reason to doubt the playwright actually took the time to do so¹⁸ because his ending verse impugns D.F.W.¹⁹, whose works require merely a cursory read²⁰ to see the inclusion of multiple examples of the selfsame activity he would label Williamson town for. The work simply does not make internal logical sense.

16. Most readers deduced the identity of the author by the inclusion of the Enfield Tennis Academy as a return address to be David Foster Wallace himself, though a small but not statistically insignificant enclave of loyal readers in Brighton hold that it was authored by John Wayne.
17. It is inferred here that the author refers to content and not style, which critics widely agree is impeccable.
18. Or more likely, he did take the time, but disregarded his findings in favor of manufactured positions
19. In a vague and unsatisfactory way. Sr Shakespeare, I beg of thee, uncouple yourself from your couplets, if only for a couple of minutes, and give a straightforward explanation.
20. Display posts by user: David Foster Wallace

[David Foster Wallace]

yrstruly I be short on time too rite now but herewego

Poe that sneaky slydog he still has not said nuthin directly to yrstruly or to directly respon' to de case yrstruly has made. But de dedline is for makin' sumone ded n so yrstruly I will shelf Poe fr tomorrow an come to a agreemen today

yrstruly I will vote for dese tree ppl today at dedline -
bret east
brian jocks
de bard Shakespeare

n of cours Poe if neone changes hart

I still will not vote marine zim yrstruly I will not

Unvote, Vote: Bret Easton Ellis

[David Foster Wallace]

29 October Y.D.A.U.

The day of the deadline is already upon us, and still so many have not returned from their ever lengthening hiatus²¹. I fear for the future of this gathering, but alas, now is not the time to bemoan the lack of participants, it is the time to offer something useful to go forward with. Inspired by those who have already offered full opinions on everyone in attendance²² I will attempt to do the same for posterity. Once again I find myself casting a suspicious eye in the direction of Gertrude Stein, this time for her attempt in post 204 to dissuade others from doing the same. It is a useful exercise in transparency²³ and I heartily encourage others to undertake it before this day is spent.

In order alphabetical:

Bret Easton Ellis

- An extreme example of a problem I brought up in an early post (though it seems ages ago), B.E.E. is the epitome of style-over-substance. His toothless FoS of Jane Austen is the only actual claim he has staked to anything of worth in this game. Of note, he makes meaningless flavor mentions of Shakespeare twice, and his latest post, though already twenty days old, is a clear OMGUS²⁴ of Joyce despite lacking an actual vote.
Conclusion: Scum

Brian Jacques

- Another who is very guilty of style-over-substance, Jacques was in fact the player I had in mind when I first issued my warning on the matter. His only vote was random and since then he has patently refused to place another or offer a solid opinion on anything or anyone.
Conclusion: Lean Scum

Charlie Kaufman

- Though his posting style causes me stress by stretching already lengthy game pages out into the aether I have had little trouble understanding his meaning or seeing his reasoning. I still disagree with the vote for Austen, but at the very least C.K. is making an honest attempt at activity late in the day. In response to this:

I see there is a lot of hate towards Mister Ellis. Can someone explain it to me in a succinct, intelligible way without being so fucking overdramatic? We need some cooperation here or I fear we may all be had.

I hope my short analysis above is enough to convince you, or at the very least you see the pressing matter of this deadline impending and move your vote solely to reach a lynch in time.
Conclusion: Lean Town

Christopher Marlowe

- A picture of inactivity and purposeful non-interaction. A vote for Bugle? The paper is clearly no longer among us. A promise of future participation? Like a whisper in the wind. With so many inactive players I logically know they cannot all be scum, but my word going through this list in order they all seem that way.
Conclusion: Null, Scummish

Dr. Seuss

-

After nearly a month, a rhyme would be nice
Even just moving your vote would suffice
ISOing flakers is making me yawn
I pray some return when Day Two dawns

Conclusion: Null, Scummish

Edgar Allen Poe

- Anyone who has paid attention in this game knows already my feelings on Poe. His hide was saved today by the overall lack of activity. Remember my words if I wind up dead. The man still has not directly addressed me or my accusations despite all his wordiness and activity, and in his own analysis of each player he tempers his enthusiasm for calling me an innocent with "caution" simply because I am pushing against him.
Conclusion: Scum, in the strongest terms

ee cummings

- I'm astounded to find that this poet's vote has remained steadfastly on Bradley throughout the day, despite subtle mudslinging at Austen and deflection from Poe. I wouldn't lose sleep over his imminent death.
Conclusion: Lean Scum

EL James

²⁵ - This lady is all talk, but her posts contain not a single vote, leaving instead her predecessor's weak Bugle vote in place. Consider as well my earlier conjecture that Mamet could be a partner of Poe²⁶.
Conclusion: Lean Scum, ties to Poe

Gertrude Stein

- The single most unintelligible player on this list, she hides behind Arthur a Grammar and jumps on every wagon of note that is not named Edgar Allen Poe. I would see her hang in short order.
Conclusion: Scum

Gregory Williamson

- Though his posting is opaque it is not indecipherable, but I do wish there were more of it. His is another holdover Bradley vote (there are it seems many of these). G.W.'s early suspicions of Ellis were warranted and I pray he makes a timely return to this conversation and casts his vote in that direction.
Conclusion: Null, Townish

James Joyce

- Eye final Lee sea, aft her sum diff occult tea!
Conclusion: Town

Jane Austen

- A proper lady, her posting has been well reasoned and frequent, and her opinions most often mirror my own. To this:

I shall make an urge for Bradley for she has done nothing to make me consider her to be town.

My dear lady, please look upon those voting Bradley with you, and dismount the inferior wagon to join those of upstanding moral character on the Ellis wagon.
Conclusion: Town

Jean-Baptiste Poquelin

- Little and less there is to be had from the Frenchman. Though I would initially assume anyone speaking in such a language to be a member of the A.F.R.²⁷, I must try to see past my anti French bias. J.B.P. has lent his voice to two of the lesser wagons (in my opinion) of the day and since disappeared along with the rest of the crowd.
Conclusion: Null, Scummish

Lemony Snicket

- His ISO is an easy and enjoyable read. L.S. demonstrates keen critical thinking and a willingness to form new opinions and change old one as evidence comes to light. As Ellis appears on his shortlist of deadline lynch candidates I hope he too will appear in time to make the move.
Conclusion: Town

Lord God

- Though I admit His holdover Bradley vote turns my stomach, the holy one is indeed clearly cut from the cloth of innocence. He strikes an appropriate balance between holding true to stylistic form and supplying meaningful substance.
Conclusion: Town

Marion Zimmer Bradley

- In this instance again I will refer my readers back to earlier mention, as I have already given reason to be suspicious of the wagon on M.Z.B. Throughout the day as well I have agreed with her vote placement (cummings, Stein) with the exception of her most recent on Austen, but as Bradley is another of the players expressing a willingness to compromise and vote Ellis I am hopeful she too will return before deadline to make it so. (Preview Edit: And she did!)
Conclusion: Town

Mark Z Danielewski

- What a strange, unsubstantial creature M.Z.D. has been, he of only two posts. My opinion is of course colored by his declaration of my innocence, and his lone vote for Jacques, which is a vote of great value.
Conclusion: Null, Townish

Oscar Wilde

- His early vote for Bradley raised my hackles, but of late his meaning and reasoning have been more apparent. A late promise of further content has notably gone unfulfilled, however.
Conclusion: Lean Town

Rucks

- Consistent activity, clear opinions, but something is niggling my gut about this one and I can't quite put a finger on it. Not enough to worry at present, but a thought for the future.
Conclusion: Null, Townish

The Daily Bugle

- Here we've reached the realm of 30+ days since our last sighting. What is there to be learned from the Bugle? A whole lot of nothing. The one thing of note is that the paper displayed a definite suspicion of Ellis over others.
Conclusion: Null, Townish

Thomas Pynchon

- The great and powerful. This man is as town as they come, a position I've held consistently since early on, and nothing has happened to change it.
Conclusion: Town, in the strongest terms

Tommy Wiseau

- Three posts, three votes, none of which I like.
Conclusion: Lean Scum

Shakespeare

- I have already locked horns with this one, and his response to my jab was about as uninspiring as they come. His deadline vote for Bradley is the clearest indication of all that she is the town counterwagon to scum Ellis.
Conclusion: Scum

TL;DR²⁸ version:

Scum:

Ellis, Poe, Stein, Shakespeare

Lean Scum:

Jacques, cummings, James, Wiseau

Null-Scum:

Marlowe, Seuss, Poquelin

Null-Town:

Williamson, Danielewski, Rucks, Bugle

Lean Town:

Kaufman, Wilde

Town:

Joyce, Austen, Snicket, God, Bradley, Pynchon

21. More like an Inactivity Overview
22. Poe - post 172, Joyce - post 198, Bradley - post 223
23. An attribute Stein has sorely lacked throughout this first day.
24. [O]h [M]y [G]od yo

uck (for voting me)
25. Formerly David Mamet
26. Refer to footnote #9
27. Les Assassins des Fauteuils Rollents, known by their English name the Wheelchair Assassins
28. Too Long; Didn't Read

[David Foster Wallace]

in re: cummings

dEar dave

has mOre scummish reads than townish

dEar ee

has Only one read

one

ONE
period
.

on mZb

its so easy to
take

that

potshot

at yrstruly
when

your opinions

on anyone

have not even been proffered