Micro 885: Crown on the Ground (Game Over)

[Correspondence]

Dearest Henrietta,

Thank you most kindly for your invitation to dine with you. I have been so lonesome these past weeks since we moved to the countryside, and good company has been hard to acquire. These bumpkins have simply dreadful manners, and stare at me most churlishly when I try to elevate their manners by explaining exactly which fork is appropriate for salad, and which for oysters. Can you believe, one even tried to use a serving spoon for his soup? Dreadful! I am glad all that is past, and a bit of class and society is back in my life. I am eager to hear the latest gossip of little doings about town.

Fondly yours,
Phillippa

[Correspondence]

Dear Phillippa,

I fear your choice of charitable work is for nought, my friend. We must accept the uncouth and wanton as they are. It is our responsibility to provide a model of civilized society for them, but it I think it not in their nature to rise above their station. Have you heard of the advances made in phrenology by Professor Robessione at Oxford? It seems that by measuring the shapes of one’s skull, all manner of things may be learned about a subject!

While I hesitate to apply the esteemed professor’s methods without his supervision, I suspect we should find an array of unsightly and irregular bumps upon Mr. Hectic’s scalp, should we deign to dirty our hands in such an endeavor. I shall keep my eye on the ruffian, and alert the constabulary when my theory is confirmed.

Eagerly yours,
Henrietta

[Correspondence]

Post Script -

VOTE: Hectic

[Correspondence]

My dear Henrietta,

I am quite familiar with Professor Robessione’s work. Phrenology is a fascinating and dynamic field, and a hobby of mine. There’s something about the tactile feel of large calipers in my hand which is...invigorating. We must certainly send to the Professor, should our suspicions bear fruit.

With regard to Mr. Hectic, I see what you mean. He is quite erratic and brash, typical of young men of his station. The way he bounds from subject to subject is alarming, and it worries me that he has no true conviction. I am eager to take surreptitious measurements of his cranium!

Another subject in the village you should inspect is Mr. Dunnstral. While he is quite difficult to follow at times, it is my opinion that still waters run deep, and we should let him be for now. The wandering peddler Popsofctown is also engaging, and always good for conversation. They wear their heart on their sleeve, and it is a good one. Pops was willing to indulge my hobbyist’s measurements, and sure enough, they are as kindly and honest as they seem. This is in contrast to the town drunk, egduf, who has seen fit to offer only churlish insouciance thus far. I shall be keeping my eye on that one, and I suggest you do the same.

Fondly yours,
Phillippa

[Correspondence]

Dearest Phillippa,

Just a brief note to you today, as I am in such distress. My goodness gracious! I took the liberty of hurrying down to the market to evaluate the drunk you mentioned, one Egduf. Surely, she reeked of sin as she accosted me even before I had a chance to measure betwixt her eyes. Such a fierce and craven denunciation I have never heard, and I confess to you I fainted straightaway from the fume of cheap gin upon her breath.

Fortunately, the gallant Miss Pops you wrote to me of rescued me, and together we reported the fiend to the constabulary. Surely as fine and upstanding a gentlewoman has never been, (aside from you, of course.) The officer assured me that our village has little regard for such wanton behavior, but he requires the testimony of at least five citizens in good standing to make an arrest. I shall see it done or be damned!

Battered but unbroken,
Henrietta

Post Script -

VOTE: Egduf

[Correspondence]

Dear Henrietta,

Honestly, my dear, these villagers are in desperate need of sophistication. Why, just yesterday I tried to place an order for a new hat from the finest haberdashery in London, and the poor telegraph operator simply stared at me blankly. Perhaps I should speak slower, or use smaller words so these bumpkins understand.

I also suspect they do not appreciate all the work we have been doing in ascertaining the criminality of Mr. Hectic and Miss Egduf, nor the moral rectitude of Miss Pops and Mr Dunnstral. These efforts are certainly more vigorous than any put forth by our detractors, wouldn’t you say? If they cannot understand my reasoning, then I contend they are not listening carefully.

Ever yours,
Phillippa

[Correspondence]

Dear Phillippa,

I must apologize for the length of time since my last letter. I am afraid I took ill, with a fever climbing beyond 39 degrees Centigrade! Fear not for me, my friend, as the fever has broken, and my physician assures me all will be well soon enough.

Much has happened while I lay ill. First, I have included a letter written to me by Miss Pops. Just as she rescued me from the perfidy of Miss Egduf, so too has she consented to join us in our phrenological research. Hooray! She has some interesting theories with regards to Mister Drew, which I heartily support given his suspicious activity observed after receiving her letter. Surely, his intentions do not match his words.

I begin to suspect we were wrong with regard to Mr. Hectic. While he is certainly erratic and strange, the rush to condemnation seems overly hasty. I suspect that if he were part of some nefarious enterprise, his partner would rather protect him, and conversely the real criminals would be all too eager to use him as a scapegoat. Therefore, I believe he is guilty of little more than being a young man, prone to the eccentricities of callow youths and little more.

My greatest concern continues to be Miss Egduf. While I consider her most likely in league with Mister Drew, she continues to be suspicious of her own accord.

Fondest regards,
Henrietta

[Correspondence]

Dear Chief Constable Oversoul,

Salutations, and our compliments to you on your efficacious maintenance of order in our fine town. We know you to be a very busy man with many obligations professional, social, and personal, and shan't waste your time overlong. For some time now, we have been amusing ourselves, as ladies of society do, with our hobbies. I am afraid our hobby, the science of phrenology, has turned quite serious indeed, as we have uncovered what we believe to be a dastardly criminal conspiracy beneath our very noses! Certainly it would do the constabulary little good to be pestered with uncertainty and haste, so we waited until a degree of surety was to be had in our research. Please find below a dossier of persons we find to be of interest in uncovering this conspiracy. We have arranged the suspects in order of their street address, that you might easily confirm our findings.

Mistress Pops - A fine and upstanding gentlewoman, Miss Pops has lent aid to our quest from time to time, and may be seen at all hours questioning witnesses and pursuing suspected ne'er-do-wells. We should encourage her to become a policewoman herself, were such a thing not preposterous in this day and age. In particular, her pursuit of known mischief-makers and reporting of their misdeeds is heartening, and we commend her to you for it. Finally, we wish to convey that Miss Pops possesses a keen mind, and is apt to seek the motives behind a suspect's actions, rather than assessing them at face value.

Mr. Dunnstral - Another example of the good breeding found in the countryside, Mr. Dunnstral is descended from the gentry of old, and we can find no fault within him at this time. While we bear him good will for now, we reserve judgment on him, as these old souls are often tough nuts to crack, and more may be known on the morrow than at present.

Mr. Hectic - This young man is a curious fellow, given to fits and starts and flights of wild fancy. It is well that his family name is Hectic, for it suits him well. We fear we misjudged the lad at the outset of our endeavors, mistaking his exuberance and stridor for wanton vice when in fact it is mere personality. Since then, we have observed on several occasions his desire to pursue the wicked among us and root out the true villains, and for that we wish him well. In your questioning of young Mr. Hectic, if you would kindly convey our apologies for our mistreatment of him, we would be much obliged.

Miss Egduf - At last, a true malefactor. Miss Egduf has been a canker on our village almost from the first. We have noted on several occasions her tendency to respond to reasonable questioning with exaggerated panic, clearly hiding something. It was when we first became suspicious of her that, instead of responding appropriately, she moved to quash and dismiss in a wholly unwarranted manner. Since then, she has had a most unwholesome obsession with discrediting our research and methodologies, and when viewing her actions in isolation from the hustle and bustle of village life, one notices that she contributes absolutely nothing to our community that is of any substance, value, or (most damning) originality. Her conduct thus far has clearly been that of a criminal, manipulating and taking from the good people and giving nothing in return.

Master Aa - The owner of the Inn, having recently taken over its management from his departed cousin maya, is an anomaly. We have yet to draw firm conclusions on the innkeeper, as all of our interactions with him have been terse and passing. The best we may say about him is that Master Aa seems engaging and interested, with no suggestion of impropriety. Thus, we pass his further interrogation on to you, good sir.

Major Gameplay - We were uncertain about the major at first, dear constable, but in recent days he has become a beacon of order in our little town. Major Gameplay seems to be putting his training to good work as he quickly deduces facts, asks the right questions, and follows leads. I daresay, should you wish to draft any of the village residents as deputy constables, you could do worse than the major.

Mr. RC - This gentleman's motivations are difficult to follow. It at times appears that he does not take the obligations of citizenship seriously, and at other times as if he lives within the system for his own gain. He is, at best, a crass and rude fellow, but a more nefarious interpretation comes to mind - Mr. RC behaves as a predator, isolating the most likely victim, separating it from the herd with animal charisma, and preparing to pounce. Such was the case with Mr. Hectic, but the lad proved too wily and oblivious to the snare. Instead now he stalks our own selves, perhaps to eliminate a threat before it may overturn his plans. Madame Phillippa suggests this fellow as Miss Egduf's more likely partner.

Mister Drew - The snake-oil salesman is another charismatic, yet suspicious character. His intentions and motives are opaque, and he reveals very little about himself, evading more often than not. We suspect that he has no honest intent, and is instead seizing opportunity as it presents itself. Madame Henrietta is convinced that this dubious scoundrel is Miss Egduf's partner in crime.

There you have it, Chief Constable. We hope this dossier helps you get to the bottom of the conspiracy in town. If you will take the advice of two gentlewomen, however, you should pursue Miss Egduf post-haste. Failing that, discerning the guilt or innocence of Messrs. RC and Drew should prove most enlightening.

Yours most cordially,
Madame Henrietta and Madame Phillippa

[Correspondence]

Dear Phillippa,

In the interests of time, I yield to the wise counsel of Miss Pops and yourself that Mr. RC would be the most agreeable suspect to recommend to the constabulary. His conduct is indeed most predatory.

Fondest,
Henrietta

Post Script

VOTE: RCEnigma

[Correspondence]

Dear Henrietta,

I do so appreciate your willingness to compromise. I shall bake those scones you like on your next visit, the ones with orange zest and clotted cream.

Chief Constable Oversoul has written back to me - he is entirely willing to arrest the enigmatic scoundrel Mr. RC, but requires two more affidavits from upstanding citizens to prosecute. Know you any friends or gentlefolk willing to stand up for what is right before the statute of limitations expires?

Always,
Phillippa

[Correspondence]

Dear Phillippa,

As I am sure I do not need to tell you, the condemned will spout all kinds of nonsense at the end to save their own skins. Professor Robessione writes of a convict who once claimed to be a physician of some renown, only to murder again when released - this time slaying the doctor who spoke up on his behalf. The murderer was found the next day, cackling and covered in his victim.

Steel yourself, friend, and stay the course.

Yours,
Henrietta

[Correspondence]

Dear Henrietta,

At need, Mister Drew is an entirely acceptable compromise, but we must avoid an absence of conviction.

Pitter patter,
Phillippa

Post Script -

VOTE: Drew

[Correspondence]

Dear Phillippa,

I do so look forward to analyzing the results of this day's activities with you. I feel the key to our village's future may be found within the ashes.

Speaking of the key to our future, it occurs to me that we have not discussed whom we should throw our support behind in the upcoming mayoral elections. It seems to me that our bid to jointly govern is not to be, so I suggest Miss Pops as a candidate to receive united support.

Regards,
Henrietta

[Correspondence]

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hendricks,

We here at Clawitz High apologize for the delay in sending this notification. My fellow administrators and I wanted to be sure of our investigation following the incident before issuing a final ruling.

In our best judgment, your son Peter was indeed involved in the vandalism and property damage to the auditorium. However, we believe he was not directly responsible for the worst of the damage, and instead was merely following along with a few bad apples. As Peter has confessed and we are more interested in identifying the true culprits, Peter may return to school.

While it is not school policy to discuss disciplinary action against other students, we feel it is in Peter's best interests that you be aware of certain elements of the investigation, that you may help Peter choose better associates in the future. Six students were found in the vicinity of the auditorium when the damage was discovered.

John Hectic was initially suspected, as he was found with yellow paint on his hands and clothing. His friend Steven Aa, however, has stated that they were painting in the applied sciences room at the time of the incident, and is no longer suspected.

Peter's friend, Pops, was also found nearby. Our investigation found that she was practicing to audition for the fall play in a nearby classroom. The Ofctown family is well-known and upstanding in the community, and Miss Pops would be a much better friend for young Peter.

Devin Gameplay was caught lurking in the computer lab after hours, but his search history, while unsavory, accounts for his whereabouts at the time in question.

This brings us to our final three suspects in the vandalism - Jack Dunnstral, Lisa Egduf, and Richard C Enigma. Young Mr. Enigma claims that he was training in the weight room for a summer job as a bodyguard. We have no reason to disbelieve his claim, though there is no evidence to support it.

As the vandalism required three people to execute, and your son Peter has confessed, we believe Mr. Dunnstral and Miss Egduf to be the culprits, though it is possible Mr. Enigma may also have been involved. We are further convinced that Mr. Dunnstral was the ringleader of this mischief, and will be moving to enact expulsion proceedings against him. We recommend you limit Peter's contact with these miscreants immediately, for his own good.

We hope this brings this sad episode to a conclusion.

Sincerely,
Joshua Moore, Vice Principal

[Correspondence]

Post Script -

VOTE: Dunnstral

[Correspondence]

To the Registrar of Students,

Please begin expulsion proceedings against student Jack Dunnstral immediately. On questioning, we have found his objections and explanations singularly unconvincing. Further, his association with other shady characters and overall low academic performance necessitates his removal from the student body without further delay.

Regards,
Joshua Moore, Vice Principal

[Correspondence]

VOTE: Egduf

[Correspondence]

[Correspondence]

Dear compatriots,

We had a delightful time playing with you in this game of Crown on the Ground. It is our wish to extend a sincere hand of friendship to all involved, and state that no hard feelings are harbored. In particular, we wish to thank Oversoul for wise and judicious moderation; we will seriously consider patronizing your games in the future, except for any weeb shit you put on. Reading the dead thread, this writer at least agrees that the seeking masons was a bit much. In a micro, it may have worked better to make them compulsively target someone every night, not knowing what would happen if they did. Perhaps throwing in a scum role which would make something bad happen if they targeted it. There's an interesting game in there, but I'm not sure what it is.

The Crown mechanic was an interesting one, and we suggest that its stakes could be raised further if the results of the vote (or at least the number who voted for each person) were revealed at day start. For example, when Hectic was crowned, it would be fascinating to see that he'd received four votes to Egduf's two. The identities of the voters could be public or private, at your option. While you may think this is worrisome for scum players who might reveal their subversive intent, what if the scum players had voted for us? While they risk giving us the Crown, they also have a way to frame us for the deed.

Some personal notes:

Miss Pops

- It was, as usual, a delight playing with you. We thank you for being reliably easy to read when Town, and for your outstanding leadership. Our self-imposed post restriction made taking the mantle of leadership difficult if not impossible, and we are glad you were here.

Mr. Gameplay

- You were a pleasant addition to the game. It is nice to see such promising talent come out of the Newbie queue. Stick around, will you?

Mr. Hectic

- Boy, are you hard to read. One of us had you pegged as Town immediately, but permitted the other to subject you to inquisition, just to be sure. Trust me, son, living up to your username isn't the best way to get Townread in this game. Also, take it from my experience - eight games is too many. A sustainable limit is between three and six, depending on size, speed, and available time.

Mr. Smart, aka Aa

- A clever means for subverting the mechanics. You are always fun to play with, but we would wish you more confidence in yourself. Take the initiative! Smash the opposition!

Mr. Dunnstral

- Hey buddy, the "lurk and they won't notice me" thing is useful sometimes, but in a Micro it was deadly. With only eight other players to assess, it's really easy to get PoE'd. By the time you whipped out the claws, it was looking like desperation.

Miss Egduf

- We're not sure if you siteflaked entirely, or if this game just was too much. Either way, please come back! You actually did an entirely fine job. We were the only ones who really spotted you, and had difficulty convincing the others. It wasn't until the PoE caught up to you and you started really lurking that it turned against you. When the going gets tough, redouble your efforts.

Mr. Enigma

- We're sorry for doubting you! In hindsight, our suspicion of you was likely more catching hints of your PR, mistakenly interpreting recklessness as scum lack of concern. We look forward to seeing you in future games.

Dr. Drew

- if I recall, we mostly suspected you for your suspicious methodology. The game of Mafia is all about spotting small clues and pursuing them. In your case, we found your deductions to be suspiciously wrong (see your attacks on Pops) and your deflection questioning to be worrying. Sometimes, well-intentioned people just read each other wrong. Such was the case here, and we hope no grudge is held.

Mr. Chemist

- Them's the breaks, eh? Sorry, there was little you could do here, it would have taken a Herculean effort and thorough research to have had a shot at evading that lynch. We commend the effort.

Now, as for ourselves, and the inquiry as to our identity. We have decided that this experiment was a resounding success, and will be continuing our run together. Yes, most hydrae last for the course of a single game, but we intend to see how far this can go. So for now, we shall remain anonymous.

Regards,
Correspondence

[Correspondence]

Open 767: Nomination Mafia

Moderator:

chennisden

Backup Mod:

Nancy Drew 39

Players

1. Arcfield
2. Titus
3. Joey_
4. mutantdevle
5. NorwegianboyEE
6. Correspondence
7. Kokichi Oma
8. Dongempire
9.
10.
11.

Dear friends,

We wish to cordially invite you to consider undertaking the enclosed adventure with us. We feel your companionship on this endeavor would be mutually enjoyable. Please consider our request, and RSVP with Lord Chennisden.

Fond regards,
Correspondence