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"Drop! Your! Buffs!"
These familiar words elicit a round of groans from the assembled contestants. Over the next ten minutes or so, they select new headscarves to wear as presented by the host, Jeff Probst. Reluctantly, they rearrange themselves into their new team configurations, eyeing the competition when they think no one's looking but the cameras.
"Alright survivors, get comfortable with your new roommates. The next few days in the Big Brother house are going to be tough, as we have a series of challenges coming your way unlike any we've ever had on the show before. You'll have to come together with your new partners and impress the judges or leave the house forever. The contestants shuffle off to their confessional booths to share their most dramatic and spiteful thoughts on the other players, then convene in the kitchen for the first task. Sure enough, Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood are waiting for them with a new pastry of the week. "Time for the showstopper challenge, bakers! This week, you'll be making traditional English bread pudding, but the secret ingredient is........lobster! Good luck! Allez cuisine!"
The contestants bake for hours, trying to infuse lobster (of all things) into a bread pudding. Ultimately, none of them succeeded much at all, but they got all dressed up, selecting the best things to accentuate their project from the Accessory Wall, and handed over their creations to their assigned models to walk down the runway. In the end, Simon Cowell hated everything, and slammed his hand down on the desk. "You're fired. All of you."
3:47 AM
CuddlyCaucasian woke up in a cold sweat, the vision of a crazed mashup dream still burning through his brain. Grabbing his phone, he quickly dialed Cephrir's number. "Hey, Ceph...I've got a great idea for a game."