Tammy, I know you are really mad at me and very disappointed and I understand why. The shit state of the game isn't AP's fault, or FoxHound's, or Mastin's, or Rancid's. It is mine. None of them decided to vote you D4 before you headed off to graduation, I did. And I think I was the last person you expected to do that because I've played with you enough and I should know better and I am sorry. I was annoyed at not being able to help, irritated that you were not talking to me and I did stupid things impulsively to shake up the game. I also shouldn't have said that your posts didn't make any sense when DV agreed with them. I was angry at the suspicion towards me, that someone was agreeing with it when I knew myself to be town, and mostly I felt I was inadequate in being town enough and lashed out at anyone pointing it out for me. It is not your fault for pointing it out and I probably acted the way I did because I thought I wasn't meeting your standards for being obvtown. Your suspicion was reasonable and you were right to probe further. I just wished I could make my affiliation obvious like you do but I realize now I'm not as transparent. I also should have listened to your reads (FH in particular). I am convinced now that you were right and if I listened to you like I would in any other game instead of ignoring your townread there, the gamestate wouldn't have been so toxic last phase. But it was your (and Nacho's) posts towards me that made me realize that I was the one at fault here and it was pretty stupid to think that you were seeing what you wanted to see. I guess I wasn't ready then to admit that I was in the wrong yet. At several points in the game, I could tell that you were looking to me (and Nacho) to help you make sense of the game. Possibly even more than you did for other players. You even went so far as to continually say that you enjoyed playing with me even when I played like shit and kept testing your patience and unwittingly doing everything possible to make you change your mind on whether you like playing with me. I am sorry for disappointing you and letting you down as badly.
You asked me before who was frustrating you and who wasn't and I never really responded to it. I was the one frustrating you by freaking out on you D3 for a simple vote, by not working with you when you posted that Gundam Seed link to DV's scumgame and then expecting you to work with me, by pushing the FH lynch out of frustration not taking into account the fact that you said their posts were good, by voting you on D4 when you voted me, by saying that your suspicion of me didn't make sense, and by telling you that you were seeing what you wanted to see when you with all good intentions told me to quit the dumb push on FoxHound. Neither AP nor FoxHound did any of that nor did they attack you for mind-numbingly stupid shit like PV so I think they've been more collaborative to play with. You were right about everything. I don't intend to let any of my frustration seep through into this game anymore (or any other game for that matter although it has been confined to this one). I want you to hold me to this and tell me that if you see me annoy you again, you'll quit interacting with me for the rest of the game because I really love playing with you and I'd hate to do that. Also, do you still feel after Nacho's scumlynch that town doesn't deserve to win?
