Survivor Mafiascum Rankdown (Properly Dead. Leave it dead)

[Drench]

ok im alive for this rankdown again where the fuck is xalxe

[Flameaxe]

Drench's idols are american idols.

[Shadoweh]

I don't really do favourites,

>cuts her girlfriend's embarrassing first boot performance after she kept begging for it to be cut

This didn't happen.

[DeathNote]

Where is that punk Xalxe?

[CuddlyCaucasian]

xof told me you had asked for it so you two can sort that out!

[Xalxe]

yeehaw kids

First of all, I must begin with unnecessary pontificating. I am a ranker for the people, by the people, flipping off the people on the way by. Here is a dark, filthy secret: I don't know things about games I wasn't in. There, I said it. What's a Jesse? Who knows! (I am kidding, I know THAT much). But my point is this: I welcome, nay, I value, I crave your input like a heroin addict. My Skype is available below. My PM inbox is open. Tell me how you feel about the people you played with, the people you modded, the people you want to fall before you. I am your sword, your sworn knight, your ranker. Use me, abuse me, just don't lose me. I'm not sure what's happening anymore in this paragraph, honestly, but that's that.

TL:DR - Tell me how you feel about characters or else I'm just gonna roll dice and cut Pizza as often as possible

All that being said, let's start. I will warn you that I am most likely to be harshest on games I played in, as those are the games that I know best. So, sorry about that, but also not sorry.

270 - Treecko

In the spirit of Treecko, I should really go through this writeup and increase its Lexile level by like 400 points, but I'm too lazy to do that, so instead, pretend Charles Dance is reading this, as I feel that's as close to replicating the TS Experience (TM) that most of us will ever get.

Anyway, Treecko. Let us use this cut, not just as a cut of Treecko, but really, as emblematic of the TS Experience in MafiaScum anonymous Survivor, because I want to bring to everyone's attention the greatness of this storyline. I'm not joking when I say that this rivals the Xalxe-Drench storyline.

And at the end of this I will probably have convinced you all that I shouldn't cut Treecko but don't worry, it'll be fine, hush now.

So a reminder: in Seafoam Islands, TS was Electabuzz, who went out at merge after a tied vote with Chansey and eventually voted for me to win because I'm a bastard, right okay. So in Sky Pillar we have TSeecko, who comes in re-energized (is this pre-or post-Summertime? too lazy to check). Immediately he begins doing TS things, by which I mean "sending fuckhuge PMs that require a thesaurus to comprehend and making friends."

By the end of the first challenge, there is a somewhat strong power block: two pairs of Spiritomb/Treecko and Pineco/Forretress, with Piplup as the fifth. Piplup, by the way, is Xalxe. So this is gonna end really well for Treecko.

However, the most important thing about what happens here is that Treecko, somehow, can't imagine how, figures out something very important: Piplup is Xalxe. And Treecko has vivid memories of being screwed by Xalxe, so he wants to neutralize that threat sooner rather than later.

What he starts to do is subtly vocalize his mistrust to other members of the tribe. Ordinarily, this should work, even if it's a bit early for this sort of nonsense. After all, Piplup is busy trying to get Beldum voted out (because...I can't remember why? fuck my confessionals, man, honestly), so this shouldn't ping on too many radars as playing too hard too fast.

But of course, this is Survivor. And Croagunk, master manipulator that she is (come back Shiidaji I love you), lets Piplup know what's up. And, well, because it's me, I decide that Treecko is dead now.

Forina loses the second challenge, Piplup pulls in the outsiders and takes out a threat to him before they have a chance to really get going, and TS falls at Xalxe's hands again.

And then in Eon, Spheal falls at Xalxe's hands in one of the most emotional decisions I've made, but we'll get there when we get there.

TS has a fantastic 3-season arc of being screwed by me, and I'm entirely serious: the three Pokesurvivors are the best for these long-standing arcs, good lord, I could write an entire essay on this stuff. So why am I cutting Treecko now?

1) It's really funny to me that I would start this rankdown by cutting TS, please appreciate this, but more importantly:
2) Treecko is, by far, the least interesting iteration of TS as far as PokeSurvivor goes, and probably in anon Survivor in general. He comes, he plays, he makes friends, then he makes a mistake and goes out second. There's far more meat to Spheal & Buzz, and Danny & Deadshot are already cut.

TL;DR - Rankdown imitates Pokemon Survivor, bye bye TS

[Chevre]

Lillipup was too UTR in that writeup

[McMenno]

somehow I think this cut is biased in a way

[McMenno]

maybe

[Xalxe]

somehow I think this cut is biased in a way

First of all, how dare

[Xalxe]

Lillipup was too UTR

FTFY

[Cephrir]

"

At times like these when enemies number more than friends
A friend indeed is what I need, not someone who pretends.
A friendly toast with Ampharos I know I'll never share
But that is just the kind of cross that every man must bear.
I'm on my way
I cannot stay
Another Day


I never got to know Lucario, or talk with Staryu
I never shared a joke with Toxicroak, instead I was one too.
Must I explain, it's such a pain to think if only I'd had you.
I'll play the fool but I don't mind, It's all I ever seem to do.
I'm on my way
I cannot stay
Another Day

"

Writing poems in his confessional after being eliminated is so iconic that I am having difficulty keeping this idol in my pants.

[DeathNote]

He wrote poetry!!!?!?!?!?

I'm a huge advocate of poetry in Survivor games.

[xofelf]

It's after being eliminated though. Like, this is why he hasn't been cut yet. That confessional is HUGE for a second place boot, he stayed active basically the whole game. BUT, in the actual game itself? he didn't actually do much of anything as a character. What I remember about him myself is actually more that he had rants about how he thought Toxic was Cybele and how much he fucking hated Toxic because he was Cybele, and then lo and behold Toxic was TS's best friend Shiidaji. Oops.

[TS]

haha I really enjoyed reading this. It made me smile as I drank my glass of water. Ty

[McMenno]

you mean your glass of METHANOL YOU WILL NOW GO BLIND AHAHA

[TS]

aaah!!. I have become like Brock!

¦^|

[animorpherv1]

Use me, abuse me, just don't lose me.

Guys, I lost Xalxe.

[xofelf]

Honey, you lost him a long time ago.

[animorpherv1]

I'm sorry guys. I was the Xalxekeeper and I lost him.

[McMenno]

good riddance

[Papa Zito]

is this the part where we make another cut

[xofelf]

No.

(I know who I'm cutting, I've just not had the time to dig into their confessional today. But i will probably tomorrow)

[Cheery Dog]

Why does tomorrow never actually come?

[TS]

2) Treecko is, by far, the least interesting iteration of TS as far as PokeSurvivor goes, and probably in anon Survivor in general. He comes, he plays, he makes friends, then he makes a mistake and goes out second. There's far more meat to Spheal & Buzz, and Danny & Deadshot are already cut.

100% agree with all you wrote but I'm sure Deadshot hasn't gone yet (see google doc)

Always appreciate the tragic trilogy of you monochroming me. Reminds me of your excellent posts on Dante :^)