Mini 1628: Rick Santorum Saves Xmas - Gaybepocalypse


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Post Post #1000 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 2:22 pm

Post by Flames682 »

Not sure who the third scum is if there is one (which there prolly is in my experience). Still think Aronis and Marquis are scum though. I'm good with either lynched and it looks like Aronis isn't it.

VOTE: Marquis
Stop using gut as a reason to state someone is scum. Now.

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Post Post #1001 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 4:58 pm

Post by Aronis »

Wisdom wrote:2 votes on marquis plix

I'm fine with lynching Marquis. Would've preferred flames, but whatever.

So I guess Marquis should claim if she has abilities now.
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Post Post #1002 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 5:00 pm

Post by Aronis »

Hell, she probably doesn't and this has gone on long enough.

VOTE: Marquis

HAMMER!

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Post Post #1003 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 5:30 pm

Post by Shinobi »

Couldn't you have waited for other people to come back first?
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Post Post #1004 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 5:33 pm

Post by Shinobi »

How can you even justify that hammer by saying this has gone on while 2-3 other people aren't even around, including the guy that you just hammered?
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Post Post #1005 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 6:08 pm

Post by Aronis »

Shinobi wrote:Couldn't you have waited for other people to come back first?

1. The sooner scum die the better. And Marquis was obvscum.
2. The setup is nightless, so they can talk next day phase.
3. It's not my fault they weren't here.
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Post Post #1006 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 6:36 pm

Post by Shinobi »

Yeah, but that doesn't mean you just up and yolo hammer people. Cripes.

I've got some other stuff to say but I won't say anything until after flip.
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Post Post #1007 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 6:51 pm

Post by Sir Elton Hercules John »

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Post Post #1008 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:08 pm

Post by Sir Elton Hercules John »

The crowd was relentless. They all had their eyes turned to Karen, but she was prepared. She was cool as a cucumber. Speaking of cucumbers...

Karen Santorum:
"Oooh! My batch of cucumber mojitos are almost ready! Let me just get to that..."

She excused herself from the room to the kitchen like a good housewife to make the party some drinks, but she could feel their collective stares burrowing into the back of her neck. She pretended not to notice as she picked up her cocktail shaker and began shaking away, vigoriously, up and down, up and down, up and down. Her mind drifted to another time.

It was 1984. George Orwell had gotten it all wrong. There were no totalitarian governments bearing down on the private lives of the people. Instead, there was cocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine. And she found herself in her favorite place: in a hammock in her boyfriend's Californian back yard.

Karen's hands kept up the motion: up and down, up and down, up and down. Being the free-spirited hippie she was, Karen knew how to jerk a guy off, and it required TWO hands, not a measly one like these Protestant bitches who handled a cock like they handled a baby. You had to get mean about it and put some elbow grease into it. She was sweating from her brow, but the droplets of sweat just dripped down to form lube for the job. Faster, faster, and faster... until finally, he came. Dr. Thomas E Allen exploded in her hands, and all over her arms, and let out a sigh.

"Karen, that was fucking
great
! You're a pro," he said while shoving his dribbling pecker back into his pants.

Karen smiled and wiped his excrement all over the grass. Ashes to ashes, she thought.

"I know you love it. After all, you deserve that release after a long day murdering innocent unborn children!"

Indeed, Dr. Allen was an abortion doctor by trade. Karen had marched in many a demonstrations, pale white breasts flapping in the wind, to support fetal murder. She turned from her boyfriend and grabbed a plate of powdery white stuff off of the table beside them.

"Let's get blitzed!" She exclaimed, rolling up a $100 bill.

Dr. Allen put a hand on her shoulder. "Karen, wait... we need to talk. The blow can wait," he said, sitting up from his reclined position on the hammock and leaning in close.

Dr. Allen put her in the car and drove her to a top secret location to meet with George Clooney and Howard Schultz. That was when they laid out their plan. In the coming years, there would be a war. Not the Cold War, not another World War, but a war of the hearts and minds of America. It would be a War on Christmas. And Karen had a very important role to play. She was to break up with Dr. Allen, in a public manner, and latch onto this young Republican destined for great things. His name was Rick Santorum, and he was her ticket into the heart of the GOP.


RICK SANTORUM:
"...Karen? Sweetie?"

Rick's voice brought her back. Karen's arms hurt, and she realized she had been shaking the cocktail mixer for God knows how long. Rick approached her, slowly.

RICK SANTORUM:
"...what's wrong, dear?"

She turned and saw the whole party facing her, snarling. Sweat was pouring from her brow again, but this time there was no abortionist cock to catch the droplets. She started shaking. Her cover was blown.

KAREN SANTORUM:
"LONG! LIVE! BILL MAHER!"

Karen pulled a knife out and charged at her husband, but he quickly caught her and turned the knife on her, catching her in the stomach. Karen stumbled back and slumped against the kitchen cabinets, holding her gut. She looked up at Rick and gave him the finger, and expired shortly after. Rick stopped, staring, shocked. Nothing was said for a few moments.

Then he picked up the cocktail mixer and turned to the party.

RICK SANTORUM:
"No point in letting some good ol' cucumber mojitos go to waste!"





Marquis [Karen Santorum] --
Brainwashed Liberal
-- stabbed in the stomach by Rick Santorum D3
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Post Post #1009 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:10 pm

Post by Sir Elton Hercules John »

W
h
i
t
e
E
l
e
p
h
a
n
t
#
4


Selection order:

Flames682
crazypianist1116
Wisdom
Shinobi
Aronis
Bert

Boxes remaining:

Box 1
Box 2
Box 3
Box 4
Box 5
Box 6
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Post Post #1010 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:39 pm

Post by Bert »

2
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Post Post #1011 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 7:42 pm

Post by Bert »

This order is weird.
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Post Post #1012 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 8:28 pm

Post by Shinobi »

Yeah it is.

Also good job on that lynch I guess.
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Post Post #1013 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 8:37 pm

Post by Flames682 »

so what am i picking bert
Stop using gut as a reason to state someone is scum. Now.

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Post Post #1014 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 8:38 pm

Post by Bert »

Pick your own special number!
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Post Post #1015 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 8:40 pm

Post by Flames682 »

6
Stop using gut as a reason to state someone is scum. Now.

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Post Post #1016 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 10:43 pm

Post by Wisdom »

next lynch is pianist, and then it's between flames and aronis for last
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Post Post #1017 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 10:44 pm

Post by Wisdom »

also please continue the plan, Flames pick for pianist
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Post Post #1018 (ISO) » Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:04 pm

Post by Flames682 »

pick 3
Stop using gut as a reason to state someone is scum. Now.

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Post Post #1019 (ISO) » Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:18 am

Post by crazypianist1116 »

I pick 3.

Pick 4
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Post Post #1020 (ISO) » Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:34 am

Post by Wisdom »

Ill pick 4

Shinobi take 1
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Post Post #1021 (ISO) » Sun Dec 28, 2014 2:37 pm

Post by Shinobi »

1


Aronis take 2.
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Post Post #1022 (ISO) » Sun Dec 28, 2014 3:12 pm

Post by Aronis »

Shinobi wrote:Yeah, but that doesn't mean you just up and yolo hammer people. Cripes.

I've got some other stuff to say but I won't say anything until after flip.

And guess what? Marquis was scum! Unbelievable!!!
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Post Post #1023 (ISO) » Sun Dec 28, 2014 3:13 pm

Post by Aronis »

Shinobi wrote:
1


Aronis take 2.

Yeah, it's the only one left. I'm not stupid.

Pick Box #2.
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Post Post #1024 (ISO) » Sun Dec 28, 2014 4:55 pm

Post by Bert »

5
Locked