Mini 1249--Community: Paintball Assassin Mafia! (Day Five)
Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:01 am
Mini 1249--Community: Paintball Assassin Mafia!
Moderator: DarthYoshi
Backup Moderator: Magua
Setup Reviewer: Empking
Moderator: DarthYoshi
Backup Moderator: Magua
Setup Reviewer: Empking
I’m sure you’re wondering how I got stuck with the unenviable job of escorting Garrett, who was dressed up as the deaf and mute Greendale Human Being mascot, through the school’s yearly game of Paintball Assassin. Suffice it to say that even though apparently Pierce Hawthorne can get away with being an un-p.c. jackass every episode, I make one comment to Dean Pelton denying the existence of unicorns, and I get slapped with the choice of either this or suspension for my “deunicornization” hate speech. So, here I am, patrolling the halls, armed to the nines, and trying not to laugh at my ward who I am supposed to be protecting.
But my latest guffaw must have given us away, as two players dressed as stormtroopers marched in. I managed to duck out of the way of their fire, but in so doing lost my weapon…scrambling after it, I turned to fire, but saw that the stormtroopers were nowhere to be seen.
I looked up and saw a shadowy figure, who whispered to me,
“Come with me if you don’t want paint on your clothes.”
“But…the Greendale Human Being…?” I asked.
“…was not so lucky.” And he repeated his command, “Come with me.”
And so I did. Only to be greeted by yet another mysterious sitcom character in the next room…
“DarthYoshi! You son of a bitch! I thought you were dead, man!”
“Nah, I replied, just the school mascot. But it wasn’t pretty. It was like God spilled a person. So I’m done, I’m out.”
“Everybody’s playing, Yoshi.”
“Nope, not me.”
“What will you do instead?’
“Tell you what—since my skills at bullshit rival even Winger’s, I’ll tell the story about how you fought this epic and glorious paintball war. It’ll be Homeric. Or, at the very least, it’ll make for entertaining television.”
And that was how I became the narrator of this new episode of Paintball Assassin within the halls of Greendale. And my first task in this role must be to relay this (sad?) bit of news:
But my latest guffaw must have given us away, as two players dressed as stormtroopers marched in. I managed to duck out of the way of their fire, but in so doing lost my weapon…scrambling after it, I turned to fire, but saw that the stormtroopers were nowhere to be seen.
I looked up and saw a shadowy figure, who whispered to me,
“Come with me if you don’t want paint on your clothes.”
“But…the Greendale Human Being…?” I asked.
“…was not so lucky.” And he repeated his command, “Come with me.”
And so I did. Only to be greeted by yet another mysterious sitcom character in the next room…
“DarthYoshi! You son of a bitch! I thought you were dead, man!”
“Nah, I replied, just the school mascot. But it wasn’t pretty. It was like God spilled a person. So I’m done, I’m out.”
“Everybody’s playing, Yoshi.”
“Nope, not me.”
“What will you do instead?’
“Tell you what—since my skills at bullshit rival even Winger’s, I’ll tell the story about how you fought this epic and glorious paintball war. It’ll be Homeric. Or, at the very least, it’ll make for entertaining television.”
And that was how I became the narrator of this new episode of Paintball Assassin within the halls of Greendale. And my first task in this role must be to relay this (sad?) bit of news:
Garrett—
THE GREENDALE HUMAN BEING (NPC)
With that, there is only one objective: last faction standing wins the prize! Go nuts!
Bolded indicates this player has posted their four-digit confirmation code.
An asterisk denotes a prod.
PeregrineV
xvart
BBMolla
Nexus
Porochaz
Amrun (Dean Spreck, City College Mafia Rolecop), hung out on the flagpole on Day One
Hinduragi (Vicki, Vanilla Greendale-Aligned Townsperson), riddled with paintballs on Night One
Lurconis (Star Burns, Vanilla Greendale-Aligned Townsperson), hung out on the flagpole on Day Two
xRECKOENRx (Troy Barnes, Greendale-Aligned Mason), riddled with paintballs on Night Two
Pine (Fat Neil, Vanilla Greendale-Aligned Townsperson), hung out on the flagpole on Day Three
Albert B. Rampage (Britta Perry, Greendale-Aligned Jack-Of-All-Trades), riddled with paintballs on Night Three
Gandalf5166 (Ian Duncan, Greendale-Aligned One-Shot Census Taker), hung out on the flagpole on Day Four
zoraster (Abed Nadir, Greendale-Aligned Mason), riddled with paintballs on Night Four
None, and let’s keep it that way.
Playerlist
Albert B. Rampage
Amrun
Amrun
Gandalf5166**
Morthas*
Lurconis*PeregrineV
xRECKONERx
DavidParker*
AeRyung
Pinexvart
zoraster**
zoraster**
ChannelDelibird*
BBMolla**Hinduragi*
Nexus**
Porochaz
Porochaz
Bolded indicates this player has posted their four-digit confirmation code.
An asterisk denotes a prod.
Still Tearing Up the School:
PeregrineV
xvart
BBMolla
Nexus
Porochaz
Either Hung Out On the Flagpole or Stuck with Paint on Their Clothes:
Amrun (Dean Spreck, City College Mafia Rolecop), hung out on the flagpole on Day One
Hinduragi (Vicki, Vanilla Greendale-Aligned Townsperson), riddled with paintballs on Night One
Lurconis (Star Burns, Vanilla Greendale-Aligned Townsperson), hung out on the flagpole on Day Two
xRECKOENRx (Troy Barnes, Greendale-Aligned Mason), riddled with paintballs on Night Two
Pine (Fat Neil, Vanilla Greendale-Aligned Townsperson), hung out on the flagpole on Day Three
Albert B. Rampage (Britta Perry, Greendale-Aligned Jack-Of-All-Trades), riddled with paintballs on Night Three
Gandalf5166 (Ian Duncan, Greendale-Aligned One-Shot Census Taker), hung out on the flagpole on Day Four
zoraster (Abed Nadir, Greendale-Aligned Mason), riddled with paintballs on Night Four
Recruited to Play Hackysack in Delaware, Never to be Seen Again (aka modkilled):
None, and let’s keep it that way.