This year on the Amazing Race, we've brought back many of your favorite teams
for a second race around the world! Yes, these teams are so desperate for TV time that they've decided that they are willing to embarrass themselves on national television once again just for the "chance" for a million dollars! Let's see what famewhores have joined us again! From our first season, we have loveable bickering fraternity brothers, Kevin and Drew and we also have the underdog mother and daughter team, Nancy and Emily. My, how Emily has grown up to be a woman! From the second season we have our best friends and best shoppers and best cha-cha-cha-ers, Oswald and Danny. The third season brings us the "we'll pretend we're dating on the show because no one else would want to be around me 24/7 for four weeks straight, but I'm glad I did it for $500,000" former friends Flo and Zach. Now, I'll have to introduce these people from the fourth season clearly because no one really remembers that season at all, despite the catchy stunt-casting that was done. So these funny guys are clowns! And they're good racers! And they're funny! They're named Al and Jon! Look at him! He can balance a chair on his chin! And guess what, these two fine ladies are wives of NFL players! No, really! Monica and Sheree are wives of NFL players! And they want you to know that they are wives! of! NFL! players! And from the fifth season who can forget the girl with a heart taller than she actually is...Charla! (with her whiny cousin Mirna). And Mr. Intense himself Colin with his now-wife and former beauty queen Christie! And who else could deal with such an intense racer than the professional wrestlers from sixth season Lori and Bolo! They drank blood just to stay in the race! And we have the eternally smiling and drama-free couple Kris and Jon! And how could we run the race without CBS' favorite reality television couple ever...Rob and Amber! We saw him in Survivor Marquesas and All-Stars and The Amazing Race 7 and their wedding which we showed on CBS. And we've seen her in Survivor Australia and All-Stars and The Amazing Race 7, etc. etc. etc. And we don't care about mentioning season 8, so we'll go onward to season 9 which featured those ca-raaaaaaaaaay-zee hippies and one of two returning winners, BJ and Tyler!
Disclaimer: Inclusion or Exclusion of certain teams in flavour text is decided mostly by who is easiest to write into the scene, NOT due to game mechanisms.
*opening credits....and BOMP*
…………………and RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! All teams ran toward their backpacks and the NFL wives arrives first. Monica/Sheree read the first clue.
Sheree wrote:Travel by airplane to the capital city of Tegucigalpa in Honduras! We're going to South America!!!!
[snip]
Zach wrote:Hurry up, Flo, geez! I think we're in last! *rips* "Travel by charter bus to the coastal city of Tela. Buses leave at 7:20, 8:00 and 8:30 am. Only four teams are allowed per bus. Take a ticket from the wall behind you, first come, first serve." Flo, because of you, we're on the last bus. Thanks a lot.
Flo wrote:Zach, just because you can hold your bladder *air quotes* like a man *air quotes*, it doesn't mean women can! I will not squat in a field with the perverts from Honduras staring at me. GAWD!
On the other side of the bus station...
Al wrote:I'm so glad that there are no young hunky guys for Flo to manipulate like last time.
Clown Jon wrote:You don't think my huge biceps are enough to dazzle Flo?
Al wrote:I bet you're glad she's on our bus tomorrow morning, then, eh?
Clown Jon wrote:Oh, just,
pleased
.
[snip]
? wrote:…and here's twenty dollars. Just make sure you take them around in a few circles before you bring them to the Park. I swear. We're in a race and we need to make sure that they're eliminated, okay?
taxi wrote:Okey. No bring hippies
Five minutes later...
BJ wrote:Whew, there's still our taxi driver, I'm glad he didn't leave. TTOW. Heeeyyyyy, man, traenos al parque nacional Janette Kawas. (bring us to National Park Janette Kawas)
taxi wrote:Adonde?
BJ wrote:National Park Janette Kawas. We're in a race, we need to go fast, rapido, lo mas rapido posible. (fast, as quickly as possible) We'll give you money if you bring us there quickly. Propina grandissima! (huge tip!) TTOW.
taxi wrote:Okey.
Ten minutes later...
BJ wrote:Tyler, where did that man say the park was? West of town, right? Which direction are we going?
Tyler wrote:BJ, he said it was about two minutes westward.
BJ wrote:Senor, we're going the wrong way, National Park Janette Kawas, al otro lado de la ciudad. (the other side of the city) TTOW.
taxi wrote:oooooOkey.
[snip]
At the Pit Stop
…BJ and Tyler. You are……the last team to arrive. I'm sorry, but you've both been eliminated from the race. Tyler, do you regret coming back to the race and being the first team eliminated despite having just won the race recently?
Tyler wrote:I mean, it is what it is. We got unlucky when our taxi driver went the wrong way. We were lucky enough to know our flags when we won the first time, so at least last time we could say our knowledge got us through, but luck won us the game the first time and luck took us out this second time around.
BJ wrote:Yeah, I don't think Tyler and I regret coming back. The first time it was an opportunity of a lifetime, and we were lucky when we were given the second opportunity of a lifetime.
*photo montage of BJ/Tyler running during this and the previous race with emotional music and then fades out...*
AndrewS was the owner of the clue box, thus a vanilla townie
With 11 alive, it takes 6 to lynch!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Sup, later.